Lately, I have been speaking about one way to reduce anxiety (a normal feeling for HSPs): Look at the big picture. I advise it now more than ever: Maintain the big picture. How? Ask yourself, what are your real risks? (Don’t minimize, but don’t catastrophize either.) What will things be like a year from now? Even two […]
Sensitivephobic—Could this Describe You?
When The Highly Sensitive Person was first published, someone told me that when they read it in public they kept a plain paper book cover on it so that no one would see the title. How much do you hide your sensitivity? Sometimes it is wise to consider when, why, and with whom you will […]
To Highly Sensitive Men
Although this is mainly from me to highly sensitive men, I encourage all HSPs to read it, to help the men make their way to Scotts Valley (between Santa Cruz and Silicon Valley) for the first annual (I hope) Highly Sensitive Men’s Weekend, March 13-15, in this the Year of the Highly Sensitive Man–partly in […]
The Ethics of Self-Care
When my son (a writer for TV) read over the script for Sensitive and in Love, he said it surprised him that it emphasized the need for downtime. It seemed so self-centered. He thought HSPs were more into helping others. They are, I assured him, and I adjusted the script accordingly. But it brings up […]
A Gift to Add Sparkle to the Gifts You Already Have
I have a gift for you. I found it while reading and listening to Ken Wilber, a brilliant philosopher-psychologist-spiritual-teacher guy who has developed something called “integral psychology,” a theory that summarizes years of research by others on human development. I like a lot of it—not all of course. But central to integral theory is that […]
Why Differential Susceptibility is so Important for You
I am not sure that I have written enough about differential susceptibility, which is a key to understanding HSPs and for HSPs to understand themselves. Differential susceptibility is the well-researched idea that HSPs are deeply affected by their environments, “for better and for worse.” With poor childhoods they are more likely than others to be […]
Types of Meditation
I very often suggest meditation to HSPs for reducing and recovering from over-stimulation. But I realize that when someone recommends meditation or says they meditate or are going to teach it to you, it sounds as though meditation is just one thing. But really they may as well say, “I recommend pills.” That is, there […]
Aging, Death, and our Dear Ted
Some of you have requested that I write about aging and death in relation to our trait. This seems to be the right time: As some of you know, Ted Zeff, our hero in his tireless work for sensitive men and boys as well as all HSPs, left his body on August 18, after a […]
Graceful Boundaries Part IV: Boundaries in Dating and Close Relationships
As we have seen, boundaries are a huge topic. So are close relationships. Thus, I will stick to those in “romantic” relationships, new or long-standing, and not talk about close friends and family members. Even with these limits, this grew to be very long. I had to limit myself a bit with dating, but most […]
Graceful Boundaries, Part III – Controlling your Boundaries is all about Volume
Being kind yet clear, compassionate yet self-protective, honest yet discreet—it really does require grace. But to be clear: There’s nothing graceful about having no control over your boundaries. We HSPs like to consider the needs of others and the situation before we pursue our own wishes. “I wonder what the rest of you are needing […]