Excerpt from Bill Allen’s Confessions of a Highly Sensitive Man, Chapter 3: Being Different Growing Up Quiet and Alone I was a shy child and introverted. One of my earliest recollections was around the age of four. My parents had switched churches, and I can clearly remember the first Sunday we attended the new church. […]
HSPs and Emotions
Does this work for me?
Guest blog, “Does this work for me?” written by Tom Falkenstein, psychotherapist and author reflects on the publication of his book “The Highly Sensitive Man” On a rainy evening in London in Spring 2015, I decided to write a book about highly sensitive men. Although only a little over five years ago now, it feels […]
Why Can’t I Just be Normal?
By John Hughes Why can’t I just be normal? That question resonated with me. Deeply. It came from one of the men attending the first highly sensitive men’s conference this past March in Scotts Valley, California. I wrote it down. And I’ve thought about it since then. A lot. It truly describes how I feel […]
Big Picture Living During a Time of Global Crisis
Lately, I have been speaking about one way to reduce anxiety (a normal feeling for HSPs): Look at the big picture. I advise it now more than ever: Maintain the big picture. How? Ask yourself, what are your real risks? (Don’t minimize, but don’t catastrophize either.) What will things be like a year from now? Even two […]
The Ethics of Self-Care
When my son (a writer for TV) read over the script for Sensitive and in Love, he said it surprised him that it emphasized the need for downtime. It seemed so self-centered. He thought HSPs were more into helping others. They are, I assured him, and I adjusted the script accordingly. But it brings up […]
A Gift to Add Sparkle to the Gifts You Already Have
I have a gift for you. I found it while reading and listening to Ken Wilber, a brilliant philosopher-psychologist-spiritual-teacher guy who has developed something called “integral psychology,” a theory that summarizes years of research by others on human development. I like a lot of it—not all of course. But central to integral theory is that […]
Why Differential Susceptibility is so Important for You
I am not sure that I have written enough about differential susceptibility, which is a key to understanding HSPs and for HSPs to understand themselves. Differential susceptibility is the well-researched idea that HSPs are deeply affected by their environments, “for better and for worse.” With poor childhoods they are more likely than others to be […]
Types of Meditation
I very often suggest meditation to HSPs for reducing and recovering from over-stimulation. But I realize that when someone recommends meditation or says they meditate or are going to teach it to you, it sounds as though meditation is just one thing. But really they may as well say, “I recommend pills.” That is, there […]
Graceful Boundaries – Part I
While working on the movie Sensitive and in Love, I was looking at the book Highly Sensitive People in Love and noticed I never discussed boundaries directly, although the subject was there often. Many people now are writing about HSPs and boundaries, so I think I will chime in, first with the basics, then something […]
Time and Transitions
We just completed a weekend workshop for parents, teachers, and counselors of highly sensitive children (HSCs) at 1440 Multiversity in Santa Cruz. They said it was much needed and appreciated. (This will repeat at Kripalu on the East Coast September 28-30—please let parents of HSCs know). A theme was the need to give HSCs time […]