Lately, I have been speaking about one way to reduce anxiety (a normal feeling for HSPs): Look at the big picture. I advise it now more than ever: Maintain the big picture. How? Ask yourself, what are your real risks? (Don’t minimize, but don’t catastrophize either.) What will things be like a year from now? Even two […]
Sensitivephobic—Could this Describe You?
When The Highly Sensitive Person was first published, someone told me that when they read it in public they kept a plain paper book cover on it so that no one would see the title. How much do you hide your sensitivity? Sometimes it is wise to consider when, why, and with whom you will […]
To Highly Sensitive Men
Although this is mainly from me to highly sensitive men, I encourage all HSPs to read it, to help the men make their way to Scotts Valley (between Santa Cruz and Silicon Valley) for the first annual (I hope) Highly Sensitive Men’s Weekend, March 13-15, in this the Year of the Highly Sensitive Man–partly in […]
Why Differential Susceptibility is so Important for You
I am not sure that I have written enough about differential susceptibility, which is a key to understanding HSPs and for HSPs to understand themselves. Differential susceptibility is the well-researched idea that HSPs are deeply affected by their environments, “for better and for worse.” With poor childhoods they are more likely than others to be […]
Aging, Death, and our Dear Ted
Some of you have requested that I write about aging and death in relation to our trait. This seems to be the right time: As some of you know, Ted Zeff, our hero in his tireless work for sensitive men and boys as well as all HSPs, left his body on August 18, after a […]
Graceful Boundaries Part IV: Boundaries in Dating and Close Relationships
As we have seen, boundaries are a huge topic. So are close relationships. Thus, I will stick to those in “romantic” relationships, new or long-standing, and not talk about close friends and family members. Even with these limits, this grew to be very long. I had to limit myself a bit with dating, but most […]
Graceful Boundaries, Part III – Controlling your Boundaries is all about Volume
Being kind yet clear, compassionate yet self-protective, honest yet discreet—it really does require grace. But to be clear: There’s nothing graceful about having no control over your boundaries. We HSPs like to consider the needs of others and the situation before we pursue our own wishes. “I wonder what the rest of you are needing […]
Graceful Boundaries – Part II
To sum up Graceful Boundaries Part I, when needing to say no, of course it is important, especially to us, to be graceful by being polite, but without sounding weak. I also said that we do have innately somewhat thin boundaries, which is part of what gives us our depth of processing and empathy. But like […]
Graceful Boundaries – Part I
While working on the movie Sensitive and in Love, I was looking at the book Highly Sensitive People in Love and noticed I never discussed boundaries directly, although the subject was there often. Many people now are writing about HSPs and boundaries, so I think I will chime in, first with the basics, then something […]
Time and Transitions
We just completed a weekend workshop for parents, teachers, and counselors of highly sensitive children (HSCs) at 1440 Multiversity in Santa Cruz. They said it was much needed and appreciated. (This will repeat at Kripalu on the East Coast September 28-30—please let parents of HSCs know). A theme was the need to give HSCs time […]