I do not have to tell HSPs that we are now mired in personal and global uncertainty, because we hate uncertainty. We always process decisions deeply (e.g., struggle), and it’s hardest when there are so many uncertainties and future influences that we can think of all too well but cannot control. Right now, almost everything […]
Quiet Leadership
“That’s just the point: an honest and sensitive man opens his heart, and the man of business goes on eating – and then he eats you up.” – Fyodor Dostoevsky The year 2020 has started off with a bang and our world is upside down in many ways as COVID19 has brought us an unprecedented […]
Why Can’t I Just be Normal?
By John Hughes Why can’t I just be normal? That question resonated with me. Deeply. It came from one of the men attending the first highly sensitive men’s conference this past March in Scotts Valley, California. I wrote it down. And I’ve thought about it since then. A lot. It truly describes how I feel […]
Sheltering in Place for HSPs who are Parents or Part of a Couple
“Hope is not a matter of waiting for things outside of us to get better. It is about getting better inside about what is going on outside.” -Joan Chittister I know there is now a great deal of advice out there for managing during this time, but I thought I would add some especially for […]
Big Picture Living During a Time of Global Crisis
Lately, I have been speaking about one way to reduce anxiety (a normal feeling for HSPs): Look at the big picture. I advise it now more than ever: Maintain the big picture. How? Ask yourself, what are your real risks? (Don’t minimize, but don’t catastrophize either.) What will things be like a year from now? Even two […]
Sensitivephobic—Could this Describe You?
When The Highly Sensitive Person was first published, someone told me that when they read it in public they kept a plain paper book cover on it so that no one would see the title. How much do you hide your sensitivity? Sometimes it is wise to consider when, why, and with whom you will […]
To Highly Sensitive Men
Although this is mainly from me to highly sensitive men, I encourage all HSPs to read it, to help the men make their way to Scotts Valley (between Santa Cruz and Silicon Valley) for the first annual (I hope) Highly Sensitive Men’s Weekend, March 13-15, in this the Year of the Highly Sensitive Man–partly in […]
Why Differential Susceptibility is so Important for You
I am not sure that I have written enough about differential susceptibility, which is a key to understanding HSPs and for HSPs to understand themselves. Differential susceptibility is the well-researched idea that HSPs are deeply affected by their environments, “for better and for worse.” With poor childhoods they are more likely than others to be […]
Aging, Death, and our Dear Ted
Some of you have requested that I write about aging and death in relation to our trait. This seems to be the right time: As some of you know, Ted Zeff, our hero in his tireless work for sensitive men and boys as well as all HSPs, left his body on August 18, after a […]
Graceful Boundaries Part IV: Boundaries in Dating and Close Relationships
As we have seen, boundaries are a huge topic. So are close relationships. Thus, I will stick to those in “romantic” relationships, new or long-standing, and not talk about close friends and family members. Even with these limits, this grew to be very long. I had to limit myself a bit with dating, but most […]