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The Ethics of Self-Care

January 14, 2020 By Elaine 16 Comments

When my son (a writer for TV) read over the script for Sensitive and in Love, he said it surprised him that it emphasized the need for downtime.  It seemed so self-centered.  He thought HSPs were more into helping others.  They are, I assured him, and I adjusted the script accordingly. But it brings up […]

Filed Under: Emotions, Health, Relationships Tagged With: burn out, burnout, highly sensitive people, HSP, self care

A Gift to Add Sparkle to the Gifts You Already Have

December 17, 2019 By Elaine 24 Comments

I have a gift for you.  I found it while reading and listening to Ken Wilber, a brilliant philosopher-psychologist-spiritual-teacher guy who has developed something called “integral psychology,” a theory that summarizes years of research by others on human development.  I like a lot of it—not all of course.  But central to integral theory is that […]

Filed Under: Emotions, Health, Relationships, Spirituality Tagged With: changing perspective, highly sensitive people, HSP, HSPs, integral psychology, ken wilber

Why Differential Susceptibility is so Important for You

December 3, 2019 By Elaine 28 Comments

I am not sure that I have written enough about differential susceptibility, which is a key to understanding HSPs and for HSPs to understand themselves. Differential susceptibility is the well-researched idea that HSPs are deeply affected by their environments, “for better and for worse.”  With poor childhoods they are more likely than others to be […]

Filed Under: Emotions, General, Health Tagged With: Differential Susceptibility, highly sensitive people, highly sensitive person, relationships

Types of Meditation

November 1, 2019 By Elaine 15 Comments

I very often suggest meditation to HSPs for reducing and recovering from over-stimulation.  But I realize that when someone recommends meditation or says they meditate or are going to teach it to you, it sounds as though meditation is just one thing. But really they may as well say, “I recommend pills.” That is, there […]

Filed Under: Emotions, Health, Spirituality Tagged With: highly sensitive people, HSPs, meditation, sensitivity

Aging, Death, and our Dear Ted

September 30, 2019 By Elaine 22 Comments

Some of you have requested that I write about aging and death in relation to our trait.  This seems to be the right time: As some of you know, Ted Zeff, our hero in his tireless work for sensitive men and boys as well as all HSPs, left his body on August 18, after a […]

Filed Under: General

Graceful Boundaries Part IV:  Boundaries in Dating and Close Relationships

August 5, 2019 By Elaine 7 Comments

As we have seen, boundaries are a huge topic.  So are close relationships.  Thus, I will stick to those in “romantic” relationships, new or long-standing, and not talk about close friends and family members.  Even with these limits, this grew to be very long.  I had to limit myself a bit with dating, but most […]

Filed Under: General

Graceful Boundaries, Part III – Controlling your Boundaries is all about Volume

May 15, 2019 By Elaine 33 Comments

Being kind yet clear, compassionate yet self-protective, honest yet discreet—it really does require grace.  But to be clear:  There’s nothing graceful about having no control over your boundaries. We HSPs like to consider the needs of others and the situation before we pursue our own wishes. “I wonder what the rest of you are needing […]

Filed Under: General

Graceful Boundaries – Part II

February 21, 2019 By Elaine 24 Comments

To sum up Graceful Boundaries Part I, when needing to say no, of course it is important, especially to us, to be graceful by being polite, but without sounding weak. I also said that we do have innately somewhat thin boundaries, which is part of what gives us our depth of processing and empathy. But like […]

Filed Under: General

Graceful Boundaries – Part I

January 22, 2019 By Elaine 15 Comments

While working on the movie Sensitive and in Love, I was looking at the book Highly Sensitive People in Love and noticed I never discussed boundaries directly, although the subject was there often.  Many people now are writing about HSPs and boundaries, so I think I will chime in, first with the basics, then something […]

Filed Under: Emotions, General, Relationships Tagged With: boundaries, highly sensitive people, highly sensitive person, HSP

Time and Transitions

July 30, 2018 By Elaine 32 Comments

We just completed a weekend workshop for parents, teachers, and counselors of highly sensitive children (HSCs) at 1440 Multiversity in Santa Cruz.  They said it was much needed and appreciated.  (This will repeat at Kripalu on the East Coast September 28-30—please let parents of HSCs know).  A theme was the need to give HSCs time […]

Filed Under: Emotions, General, Health, Parenting Tagged With: highly sensitive people, HSP, over-stimulation, processing, slowing down, time

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Recent Posts

  • Research from 2022 on High Sensitivity
  • Research: High Sensitivity Wrongly Identified with Narcissism, Plus Studies on Parenting Applied to Managing and Caregiving
  • More HSP Research
  • More Research, from 2018 and 2019

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Announcing our newest book
The Highly Sensitive Parent

HSP Parent

New 25th Anniversary Edition
The Highly Sensitive Person

HSP 25th Anniversary Edition

Announcing the release of our documentary Sensitive Lovers: A Deeper Look into their Relationships

In this documentary, Art Aron (well-known love researcher) and Elaine Aron provide the science and advice behind the film Sensitive and in Love. Learn more about Sensitive Lovers here.

Sensitive and In Love

A feature film, focuses on what perhaps matters most: how high sensitivity affects your relationships with loved ones. Learn more and purchase the Sensitive and In Love here.

Sensitive: The Untold Story

Rent or purchase Sensitive: The Untold Story here.

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About this Blog

The quarterly Comfort Zone ended in 2014, partly to give Elaine more time to write, but also because a blog seemed more up-to-date and flexible, allowing her to write new posts based on the interests of readers. If you've signed up for her list, you will be notified when she has posted anything new. Comments: While she will not answer every comment, she will read them all and, again, may be inspired by some comments to write another blog post. You will also receive emails of any important announcement rather than these showing up only in the quarterly issue. Old Comfort Zones: The many emailed Comfort Zones are still very timely. To make full use of the extensive Comfort Zone archives, the Comfort Zone section has a Google search that will find old Comfort Zone issues as well as topics in the blog posts.

The Original Book

The Highly Sensitive Person book cover

A general introduction and covers every aspect of an HSP's life. Worldwide bestseller. Translated into 32 languages. With an Author's Note summarizing the latest research.

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