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What Happens When You Make a Herd of Highly Sensitive Horses and People?

July 13, 2015 By Elaine 23 Comments

IMG_0232_smallI did not want to write about the HSP and Horses Workshops until I experienced a few of them. Now there have been three. The first two were one-day workshops, and the last one, in June, was two days, which we decided worked better for HSPs. At the bottom are some eloquent words from the participants. However, I would like to say something about the workshops, too.

Introductions

Here’s my memory of the June weekend. At 9:15 or so, when the participants arrive, the morning is cool. The corrals are sunny and quiet with six waiting horses. Inside the circle of Douglas fir and Bay trees, where we will talk and have lunch, it is still chilly. But hot tea and sweet rolls (including something gluten free) are waiting.

Our HS Extravert, Monica Zimmerman, certified Equine Specialist, drives up with the participants. She has put at ease the nervous HSPs in her van. (The facility is quite isolated, up a narrow road that does not allow much parking.) And we start to get to know each other during registration.

Alane Freund (certified Equine Specialist) and I are the introverts, but not with a small group of HSPs. We are passionate about these workshops. We are both therapists, but as I have said before, this is not therapy. Still it is about personal growth, which HSPs love to be involved in, and introverted HSPs can relish. Further, this is a chance for me to be with other HSPs in an intimate, casual way where I can be myself totally, even while answering any and all questions about high sensitivity in the course of two days.

The Herd: Horses, Participants, and Maybe Someday You

Naturally our first participants were mostly horse lovers, whether they had had any experience with equines or not. That was great. But I want to say something about why I think the workshops might be good for HSPs who have never been very interested in horses.

First, the horses. As a participant in these workshops, you’re never riding the horses, which means they are not, at least for the weekend, being dominated by humans. These particular horses are also not kept in stalls, when in fact they need to walk or run for miles every day, and not tortured in the various ways most horses are, including harsh bits and horseshoes that are hard on their feet. These EAGALA horses, even more than most, have been cared for “holistically.” They have large pastures where they can behave like horses, and are never struck. Above all, they have been doing EAGALA work for years, working face to face with humans who want or need to connect with them, all of which means they have been free to develop their own personalities and reactions.

Second, the participants. Just as the horses’ personalities have been free to become quite diverse, our human participants are of course very diverse, too. All HSPs are NOT the same. The herd of animals and people are highly respectful of that. Indeed, often workshop participants identify with a particular horse. Many of them have been rescued from difficult circumstances and during part of the last half of the second day we have sometimes told their histories. On occasion a horse has a history much like that of the person who felt some kinship with it.

The Entire Herd Is Highly Sensitive

Whatever their personality, all horses and all of these people are all highly sensitive (although some are even more so than others). For horses, sensitivity is required for survival. As you watch them, you begin to see how much it is an advantage for you, too. They show all four of DOES (the four aspects of being highly sensitive): Depth of processing and being easily Overstimulated, more Emotionally responsive, and sensitive to Subtle stimuli.

How do they show these? Although they can react quickly due to a subtle cue of threat or opportunity, as HSPs can, you can often see them processing the situation before they make a move. They can be very slow to decide what they want to do next, like we can be.

That they are easily overstimulated becomes obvious during the course of the workshop. We humans, with our feelings and actions, do bring them to a point when they clearly need (and get) down time.

Their emotional responsiveness and empathy means they can react quickly when one of them senses danger or an opportunity. But this responsiveness also gets applied in a more subtle way all the time, for example in these workshops.

Their sensitivity to subtle stimuli is even more intense than ours. Their sight, hearing, sense of touch, and no doubt their sense of taste and smell, are all finely tuned for their life in the wild (and some of these horses grew to adulthood in the wild).

Horses as Teachers

Of all of their traits, their emotional responsiveness and true empathy is what impresses us all the most. They sense what you’re feeling, whether you want them to or not, and respond with pure authenticity. Sometimes they mirror you, so that if you are confused, they are as well. If you’re relaxed, they are as well. Sometimes they are annoyed when you are not your authentic yourself, just as we can be by others who are faking it, and you can tell they are annoyed. They do not really know human politeness or shame. Yet they forgive and forget quickly if they sense you have changed.

They particularly do not like us when we are doing one thing and feeling another. To feel safe, horses need a clear leader. If we try to direct them but are ambiguous, they get nervous or might even drive us off. When we know what we want and are honest about it, they often choose to let us lead. And they show great empathy, especially when we are distressed. They are uncanny in knowing what the issue is. It makes you think they are operating on another dimension.

horses-backSometimes we have a discussion right in the corral. One or more horses might join us, coming into our circle, provided our conversation is lively and honest. If we start intellectualizing, I have seen them turn their back ends to us!

A funny example happened when a group got tangled up while doing an activity. They just could not figure out how to accomplish it, which is always okay because we emphasize that there is no right way to do anything in the workshop, including getting it done in a certain amount of time or even doing it at all. But the humans were tense, having difficulty deciding whose suggestion to follow. We had put two other horses in a separate corral and as the workshop members struggled, all the time being super nice and polite yet clearly also miffed, these other two horses became more and more agitated (something we had never seen before), sensing the confused state of the humans.

Since many HSPs have taught ourselves to hide our feelings, it is good for us to have them brought to the surface by these creatures who miss nothing and hide nothing themselves.

Horses as Healers

In one workshop we had someone very afraid of horses. When we invited people to go into the corral with the horses (but getting close to them is not obligatory), she went in very tentatively and stood near the fence. One of the mares came up to her and very gently touched her. No one doubted that she’d come to reassure this woman.

In another case, someone had come to the workshop to “make up with” horses after years of avoiding them because someone very dear to her was permanently paralyzed in a riding accident. When she entered the corral, one of the horses came to her immediately and just stood gently in front of her. I feel fresh tears in my eyes, remembering that moment.

Finally, we are always experimenting with activities, and in one I had us stand in a circle and think about what for us was a sanctuary when overstimulated, and then we reflected on that, or imagined it vividly, or meditated on it. I wanted to see what the horses would do. Well, the horses meditated themselves. Alane and Monica, who have been at many EAGALA training workshops as well as knowing their herd well, had never seen horses standing so still. Furthermore there were six horses, and each one mirrored another horse, so that pairs were standing in exactly the same way. Not only were they demonstrating the profound relaxation of the entire herd, horses and humans, but I felt they were adding to it.

What Do We Actually Do?

I don’t want to reveal all of that, especially because we are still tinkering with the agenda. In fact, I think it will always be changing, according to the herd of horses and people on that day. But participants do work on observing carefully and sensing who, when, and how to approach any horse they wish to meet close up. They learn to recognize when any of the herd is overstimulated, and practice setting boundaries, the need for which becomes clear when you are around thousand-pound animals, even when they are being friendly. We focus on the horses’ sensitivity to nature and use that to develop ours even further. Sometimes we do activities bringing the entire herd together, horses and people, but other times participants are more on their own with a particular horse.

There is also time for journaling and reflecting, sometimes with particular experiences to reconsider. We found that the two-day workshop was especially useful for providing time to reflect overnight. Why so much reflection? Because it often takes time to realize what happened in you and a horse. It is simply remarkable to me how much one learns from interacting with these animals. I do not wish to raise expectations too high, however, because we three don’t feel very much in charge, except to set up situations for interaction and then to observe, while also looking out for anything that might become unsafe. The horses really decide what happens, all in response to you.

Comments from the participants:

“A huge therapeutic value, and it was a peaceful escape.”

“The horse mirrored for me that I needed to feel safe and reciprocated before I will enter a relationship.
It was very validating to have the horse wait for me until I was ready.”

“I loved the opportunity to be with Elaine in such a comfortable small setting… a highlight for me.”

“I love how you focus on the horses as our teachers.”

“Powerful and touching…especially with calm horses always supporting us… A profound learning experience.”

I can’t resist this one, too:

“I have spent many hours reflecting on my experiences and I have come to the conclusion that the collaborative effort of all three of you and all seven of the amazing horses is what made the weekend so memorable. You are like a dream team! I feel blessed to have experienced your magical workshop!”

If you’re interested in possibly attending a workshop, you can learn more here: www.heartandmindequine.com

Filed Under: News, Relationships

Comments

  1. Donald Walls says

    July 13, 2015 at 4:54 pm

    It is interesting to me that I should come upon this piece about horses. I recently had a significant encounter at River’s Wish Animal Sanctuary here is Spokane WA. Being with these happy and safe critters greatly touched my heart. I felt such relief from anxiety as well as acceptance and connectedness. Now, there were much more than horses and ponies. Donkeys, pot bellied pigs and lots of goats. They came over to visit and interact giving and receiving affection. My art group was there to sketch and found much more!

    Reply
  2. Anne says

    July 14, 2015 at 1:40 am

    HSP and horses workshop sounds like a really wonderful opportunity. All the experiences and comments made me even more interested in the workshop. I would be curious to know, if you have plans to organize a HSP and horses workshop in Europe some day?

    Reply
    • Alane says

      July 16, 2015 at 9:19 pm

      Hi Anne, We certainly do hope to take this workshop “on the road” across this country and in other countries. We will also begin trainings so there are more people able to participating in this work across the globe. In the meantime, it is hard for us to think about working with horses who aren’t part of our very special herd of rescued horses. They have been doing this amazing work as professionals for quite a while now and we are forever astounded at their gifts. Please sign up on the mailing list for HSPs and Horses so you get the announcements as we expand in the future.
      Alane

      Reply
    • Angela Dunning says

      September 22, 2015 at 4:56 am

      I ran a workshop for HSPs in England back in 2010, most of my clients are Highly Sensitive in fact even if they don’t regard themselves as an HSP and all of my work helps people honour and respect their sensitivity through learning from the horses. My website is: http://www.equinereflections.co.uk

      Reply
  3. Jenny Moore says

    July 14, 2015 at 6:09 pm

    Its funny, I have been drawn to horses all my life, and never really knew why. I dont think I made the connection about being an HSP and my love of horses. I would love to participate in a workshop…my health prevents me from doing that this year. Maybe in the future-God willing. Thank you for your work in this area. I could never put a finger on why I am the way I am. You put a voice to it. I call being an HSP- my superpower- to my children. They need to know how to harness their strengths and minimize the other difficult aspects of what being an HSP is. Thanks again!

    Reply
  4. Denise says

    July 15, 2015 at 9:02 am

    Thank you, Elaine, for taking the time to write so beautifully and thoroughly about the HSP and Horses workshop from your perspective. I really enjoyed reading your article and feel it would be helpful to future participants. I attended the recent workshop in June and found it to be a fantastic experience of a lifetime! It really is a unique and magical weekend merging the wisdom, support and gentle natures of Elaine, Alane, Monica and many horses so I highly recommend it. I know HSPs can be slow to commit but I suggest signing up right away so that you are ensured a spot in the workshop and you have a couple of months to look forward to it and prepare. It’s a wonderful way to support and care for yourself with other HSPs. I’m still swimming in fond memories a month later.

    Reply
  5. Tree Franklyn says

    July 20, 2015 at 12:17 pm

    Thanks so much for this article, Elaine! I’m a bit intimidated by horses so reading this article set me at peace. My only experience on a horse was at one of those places where they offer horse rides by the hour. The horses know the trail so well, you don’t really have to do anything except sit on it and they just follow the trail. Maybe my horse sensed my sadness for him (I’m sad for most animals that are forced to “work” – though I know nothing about this, I just felt sad that such a majestic creature was forced to walk on the same exact trail all day every day with strange people on its back, many of whom are downright disrespectful of them)… I didn’t want to contribute to it but it was for a little girl’s birthday so I went along. And was sad the entire time. I was trying to tell the horse that I’m sorry and I was trying to send it loving energy but it kind of went crazy and took off on me half way through…. I didn’t know how to stop him so I held on for dear life until the guide caught up to us and made him turn around.

    It wasn’t a good experience for me at all, and I felt even worse for the horse because he got in trouble.

    I wonder though if the horse was trying to show me he should not be pitied. That he was still in control and could still gallop away if he wanted. Or maybe he just didn’t like my bad feelings for him and tried to get away from them (me). Reading your article makes me feel better about this experience though as I now know they are incredibly empathetic beings with tremendous healing power. Thank you!

    Reply
  6. Michelle says

    July 29, 2015 at 4:28 pm

    Dear Elaine

    Thank you so much to write about HSP. To know about that changed my life positively!

    I work with horses every day and can feel them in a way of a HSP!

    I loved your article and I’m so happy to know, that I’m not alone in that sensitive horse world!

    Michelle

    Reply
  7. Carol says

    August 21, 2015 at 6:59 am

    I am a long-time equestrian, and would love to participate in one of the workshops some day! Equines have always been my therapy : ) I’ve had horses in the past, but have a mule as my buddy now : ) She is also highly sensitive, so we feed off of each other very easily. So she has taught me well! But I am gleaning some more ideas just from this article – can’t wait to try them out with her! I am a certified Equine Sports Massage Therapist, and have had many amazing experiences with equines. One that always pleases me is that when I am working on one horse, and others are nearby, those nearby will begin to relax just as keenly as my four-legged client. They are all basking in the healing and peace. It’s wonderful!!

    Reply
  8. Jeff says

    September 10, 2015 at 1:32 pm

    Love it, would like to read more and know when and where your next session is. Love of horses and caretakers of them.

    Reply
  9. Paard en Psyche says

    September 13, 2015 at 11:29 pm

    Hi,

    Thanks for this article !
    I’m working with horses and HSP in the Netherlands as an equine coach and I couldn’t agree with you more.
    Horses and HSP is a wonderful combination.
    I’m so fortunate to have them I my own live and being able to share their love and wisdom with others.

    I hope you DVD – sensitive the movie will be publiced in the Netherlands also, I already saw horses in the trailer
    I hope you next project will be a DVD or book totally devoted to HSP and horses 🙂

    Reply
  10. Diana Moss says

    September 28, 2015 at 6:14 am

    These descriptions are bringing tears to my eyes remembering a sweet wonderful old horse I once had. She often escaped from her pasture less than a mile away, and came straight to my patio door to gaze in at me until I came out and gave her the appropriate horse cuddles. Remembering, I can almost smell her horsey fragrance and feel her little muscle ripples as I curried her.

    Thank you for the work you’re doing with and for all us weird (special?) HSPs. I hope to read, at some point, your thoughts on possible connections between being highly sensitive emotionally and being so physically, as in fibromyalgia.

    Reply
  11. Rachel says

    October 10, 2015 at 8:00 pm

    This is a very helpful and healing article! Recently I am being shown HSP things and it’s such a relief. I have known that I’m an HSP for a few years now and bought Elaine’s book quite awhile ago, but we just started an HSP group in my city and I feel so blessed by it. I feel finally people understand me. Physically, I sigh with relief when I think of it. I didn’t realise how on the margins I’ve felt, being an HSP (not just being a non-white, artistic, spiritual, empathic woman!), and I feel embraced and that I belong with this group. I have only been to two meetings, but I feel so encouraged and relaxed when I go there. They are a great group of people, too 🙂 We end at 9 but I would be happy to stay later 🙂
    Horses are wild wonderful beings that I have been craving. Due to an injury I was not able to leave town for 2 years or so, but I can go a bit out of town now, so I take my time with horses as often as possible. On Canada day they had mini horses at our Government House, so I petted them as much as I could, while the children were distracted 🙂 We also have an agricultural fair, and I was able to pet the horses, and I saw the RCMP musical ride and watched and touched the horses there too. I just want to be in their energy. So healing and deep and high-minded it seems. Hopefully in the spring I will be able to go the 45 min to the nearest horse healing ranch for a retreat. I really long for horses. That’s awesome that you have this experience for HSP people and HSP horses to take part in.
    Would you be coming to Western Canada anytime soon? Thank you. Peace and light, Rachel.

    Reply
  12. K says

    November 3, 2015 at 3:17 pm

    I have enjoyed horses for over 20 years. I have worked as a team with them and they have taught me a lot about myself and how to work with others (animal and people). A true horseman knows that a bit is a guide and is as gentle or harsh as the hands on the other end. Your statements calling bits and shoes show a lack of true understanding of horses and reflect current fads in horse care. I shoe my horses for six months out of the year because they have very thin soles and have sensitive feet. If I did not they would be lame and sore all year. I want them to be able to run and keep up with the others in their herd not be gimping around. Sure mustangs are barefoot but the lame ones fall pray to other animals

    Reply
    • CRS says

      August 11, 2016 at 1:35 pm

      I couldn’t agree and almost stopped reading after your statement about bits and shoes being forms of toture. I had 2 horses that lived long, happy lives because they were shod properly. I applaud the work you are doing but you may want to rethink this type of language in the future.

      Reply
      • Elizabeth Evitts says

        April 25, 2017 at 8:12 pm

        Another HSP confirms that shoes are not painful for a horse any more than clipping your own nails- when properly done by a professional farrier. Moreover, they were invented to protect the foot, as stated previously, against wear and tear. Some horses have softer feet than others, some need corrective shoeing just like humans. And bits are as varied as dog breeds; each has a specific purpose. The hands of an HSP in contact with that bit understand the horse’s mouth as if it were their own, knowing the bit is just one more aid to speak to their partner along with legs, seat, back, shoulders, etc. Please try not to insult an art form of animal love. Those of us who wish to enjoy more of our bond with these amazing animals by riding them in partnership experience mutual joy and pleasure and we take great pride in caring for them as for our our children.

        Reply
  13. Cindy says

    November 23, 2015 at 8:43 pm

    Hello my name is Cindy and what a blessing it has been to find your website. I admit I started reading about the horses out of pure curiosity. Then as I read a memory came flashing back and I had to share it with you. I live in a very small town. Once while in a funeral prosession on an old country road we passed a horse pasture. There were several horses grazing away…. until the prosession approached. Every horse in the field stopped eating raised their heads and turned and faced the road. It was am amazing sight. To see them show such compassion and grace. Not one moved until we had passed. Once at the cemetery I asked a friend if she had noticed the horses thinking maybe the stress had gotten to me. And she and several others saw the horses paying their respects so to speak. It was truly beautiful.

    Reply
  14. BJ Armstrong says

    December 29, 2015 at 9:16 am

    As a child, I had a very sensitive level of communication with my beloved horse. She took care of me as we rode together. While I sensed a lot more than my sisters and friends did (it felt like), I was still pretty fearless and rarely hesitated to do something I thought would be exciting.

    I’m wondering if my sensitivity has increased now that I’m getting older. Also I’m wondering if changes in employment environment or life situation can increase one’s sensitivity response.

    Thanks for this great article!

    Reply
  15. AngLee says

    January 9, 2016 at 6:10 am

    I too was a child that loved to fearlessly try new adventurous things (and I still do), but only physically. When it comes to interacting with others and social situations my sensitivity has always been there but to different degrees at different times in my life – and now it has definitely been increasing.

    I was very sensitive until the age of about 13, then I hid is well through adolescents, and early and mid adulthood just to fit in. But I spent a lot of time being irritable, even though I am generally a very happy person when rested. Now that I am in my forties it seems there is no need to hide it anymore. I have less patience for doing so, and I have great support to be myself. I am discovering the value of my gifts and realizing that it is okay and necessary to be alone, even though I am an outgoing HSP.

    My family did not value this trait growing up even though there are several of us in the family with it. I think the fact that many of us are extraverted too (which is even more rare) made it more difficult to understand. Funny how that is.

    Sending time with sensitive creatures is a beautiful way to feel safe and normal. I currently have a a wonderfully sensitive dog companion who is at my side, feeling with me all day long. It is such a comfort and joy to be understood and not judged by our sensitive non human friends! Such a blessing.

    Reply
  16. Leslie says

    January 21, 2016 at 1:10 pm

    I really enjoyed your Article very much, and hope to Share it with others, who I know will really Benefit from it, as well!!!:). I know from very Young, I have always felt Drawn to Horses, and always wanted to be near them, and somehow, Always knew, that they would have that Healing effect, to Always make me feel better, as, I struggled pretty young with Depression!!:(. I only just recently found out that I am also: An HSP, as well, so, now, all the pieces all make Sense!! I raised my Daughter with Horses, and she lives to be with them, and Ride, and she is also: HSP, Thank You, again, for this Article, and Research!!!:)

    Reply
  17. Donna Thornton says

    May 27, 2016 at 12:34 pm

    If 15 – 20% of humans & animals are highly sensitive, does that apply to horses as well, or, are ALL horses highly sensitive?

    Reply
  18. Lorna Simmons Cameron says

    October 11, 2017 at 10:43 pm

    I’ve experienced multiple traumatic events over the past 17 years. I’ve always been drawn to horses, but now, as I learn to ride and volunteer at a horse rescue center, I find my time with them is the most healing experience I can encounter. They are my therapy, as I hope I can be for them.

    Reply
  19. Marie says

    February 16, 2021 at 3:01 pm

    Years ago I read your book, and immediately recognized I was a HSP. But, I just wanted to comment about my dog – and this seems to be the most relevant place to do so. Our girl, an English Shepherd is most definitely HS. She startles so easily, and is super sensitive and aware of everything and is also OCD. It’s actually quite a problem, and we’re working with a behavioral vet. Although English Shepherds are known to be sensitive, she’s much more so. She came from a small litter, because most of her littermates were stillbirths. Her brother and sister were significantly larger than she was at birth and definitely dominated her. Working with her has been an eye-opener – as I recognize so much of her sensitivity, anxiety and issues stemming from that, to myself. I’m more aware of how sensitivity has held me back and has limited my life, as well as affected my parents, my husband and my kids.
    The main reason I wanted to bring this up is I believe Behavioral Vets, dog trainers, etc. could benefit from the HSP research. I mentioned it to a trainer, and she hadn’t heard of HSP. So many dogs out there have issues – mostly fear aggression and anxiety – a huge liability for the dogs and the owners.

    Reply

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