Do not worry, this is not all a downer, but we HSPs cannot ignore things, like the rapid change in the last few years. There’s the crazy weather, with floods and droughts, burning forests and smoke everywhere, with evacuations and personal losses. And we now live with face masks (or not) lines for vaccines (or not), and the march of new viruses (no debate there). It seems we are going to have to get used to rapid change. I don’t know about you, but I find some of these changes especially hard to accept, like the loss of beloved redwoods to fires too hot even for them.
Some scientists say we are in the Anthropocene, the geologic age characterized most by humans’ effect on everything. As I have been joking lately, “Climate change is coming to a theater near you.” At least more humans can finally see it and not just walk around like dinosaurs unaware of the comet. (A Cretaceous Era joke.)
Impermanence Has Always Been Permanent
A philosopher might say we are in the Age of Impermanence. But it has always been a major topic in philosophy, dating back to the early Greeks and Hindus. “Impermanence” is a word that entered my social group with the popularity of Buddhism. Many teachings are attributed to Buddha—more than he ever had time to say in his impermanent life. But we are certain that almost his first words after becoming Buddha (meaning enlightened) was that everything is always changing, and that this impermanence is the cause of suffering because we cling to things, like youth, or loved ones, or life itself, that are bound to go. “But you can never miss what you never believed you had.”
According to Buddha, by realizing the truth of impermanence and giving up all attachment, perhaps helped by meditation, you could reach nirvana and be freed of karma and the cycle of birth and death. Wow. Maybe not your vision or mine of happiness, but there’s Buddha’s solution.
The Hindus also hold that everything is impermanent, but to them it is not all a source of suffering. In particular, knowledge that one’s self is actually part of the Self (the unbounded, permanent absolute) is a source of joy, again usually found through meditation. Buddha would say that that knowledge too is impermanent. Whatever.
What is Your Solution?
I think most HSPs have already found a way to handle impermanence, but for some of you it may be time to hit the refresh key. I cannot give you my answer, because that would not be yours, and maybe you can even improve on the thinking of all those old guys.
I will start a list and you can finish it. Some of these are mutually exclusive, some not, but even those that are can be used on different days!
- Do everything you can to fight the changes you do not like. What you do also changes things.
- Face impermanence only enough to know it is there, but not so much that it takes away all joy in life. We HSPs have always had to be good at this. We imagine the worst and prepare or philosophize. Then figure out how to live here, now.
- Develop equanimity. Like Buddha did. Build equanimity like a muscle, one that even grows with age. Feel it about smaller things first. Break something? “Okay. I can live without that.” Car won’t start? “Whatever. Just have to get it fixed.” Mad at someone? “Yeah, sure, been there, felt that, and I’m done with it.” There are bigger, hard changes I know. Sure, get upset. You may need to act, too. But also go to “This is hard, but I can figure it out, maybe get some help.” Muscles.
- Meditate. I have daily (TM) for 50 years and it does build those muscles, trust me on that.
- Celebrate change, at least a little. One thing must go for another thing to come into being. I bet you can think of at least one time when a loss seemed horrible, but now you see it was for the best.
- Look at the big picture. Before the Anthropocene there was the Holocene (ended with the last Ice Age—Ice Ages must have been fun). What will come after the Anthropocene? Maybe something pretty good. Thus far the march of the ‘cenes has done us well.
- Trust in the permanent, whatever that is for you. Really? Permanent? Yes. Plato did, among other philosophers, so you would be in good company. No, I do not mean the permanence of rude drivers. Something bigger than that. Maybe just the laws of nature, always operating. Can you live in tune with them? Or bigger than the biggest big picture, the One or What that came before all pictures. If you like praying to it or its representatives, do it. Again, you are in good company.
- Now add to the list. You are an HSP. You can do it.
View impermanence as cyclical or the opportunity to permanently adapt to a new part of the cycle. We are great at adapting, even when we are not highly aware if it. It’s resiliency but not always obvious.
marietta kosovsky says
I agree. I have had to adapt, and though sometimes difficult, it has become my strength.
God lived with them – Swami Chetanananda
Nyleve Semken says
Thinking of things and healing as Cycles and spirals helps me a lot.
Nigel Spencer says
Some of us are too relient and not stubborn enough.
Witness the-dumbing down originating n the US and now spreading worldwide.
Hi, Nigel–Thanks for the comment, “Witness the dumbing down originating n the US and now spreading ww” I mean my thanks sincerely. I am an American and there are so few in this country who understand what is going on and the trouble we, as a nation, are in. Some of my friends and I were talking just week before last about what a shame it was that Europeans, Australians, so many from so many other nations laugh about the stupidity of Americans, and they are right. I, and many of my friends, find ourselves going to news networks across the globe to see what’s really going on in our own country, because we know US news is lying about pretty much everything, but most of the citizenry is too lazy (or too brainwashed) to dig for the truth.
Yes, mysticism is the antithesis of life…abdication from reality, whereas existentialism embraces whatever is without passively accepting it.
Agreed. Passive acceptance is definitely NOT resilience, but its opposite.
Yes, mysticism is the antithesis of life…abdication from reality, whereas existentialism embraces whatever is without passively accepting it.
I just want to say Thank You ❤️Your message of Impermanence is right on time!
Nourish the positive connections – with self, family/friends/community, nature, SELF
thank you some good food for thought.
It made me think of the material from Michael A. Singer “Living from a place of surrender” that helped me in managing the change I was exposed to. I recommend it for those that want to go deeper.
Elaine Aron says
Funny. I was just reading his book. It must have influenced me unconsciously.
Tracy Poulos says
I just discovered you and am reading your book now. Will you bring doing any seminars/ retreats in the future ? Thank you 😊
A retreat would be great. I for one would like to be around people like myself.
Roundball Shaman says
“Impermanence Has Always Been Permanent…What is Your Solution?”
Here’s one way to look at this…
Quantum Physics today reveals that nothing — absolutely nothing – has solid substance. Everything at its most fundamental (subatomic particle) level is a blur of potentials that appears to have form when we observe it. In fact, it cannot even be thought of as a particle of substance at all. It is all energy.
There is much to be learned from this.
First of all, we humans are also quantum. Our bodies are made of the same energy blur of potential that takes on an appearance (that is also changing every instant). The atoms in our bodies are being created and destroyed in time periods that range from very fast to lasting a few weeks. Bottom line, everything gets created and destroyed and created again.
So, each of us and what we perceive as the Outside World is just swirling energy that takes on forms as we ‘observe’ it. Which means that change IS what we at our core are and what the outside world appears to be to us.
As highly sensing persons, we must fully embrace this fact and go with that flow. We are like rushing water that is constantly flowing down an endless river bed of swirling energies. We can either try to enjoy this wild ride or fight the tide and become energy depleted and bitter at our lack of “control” over things.
This does not mean we just accept whatever comes along in life. Remember, WE do the observing and the influencing upon energies with our conscious intent. We have a continuous voice in what goes on both inside and around us. In fact, there can be nothing that appears tangible without our consciousness participating in the process.
As highly sensing people, we can use this gift to our advantage. Our sensitivities and our instincts and our connections to our inner processes of experiencing give us a unique ability to interact and influence the energies that surround us.
In other words, enjoy the living miracle that we are and have the best roller-coaster ride of your life.
Love this – Thankyou
Victor Floyd says
May I have your permission ti quote you in a sermon? I’ll credit you. And dammit, I had been thinking to swear off reading “comments sections!” ❤️
Roundball Shaman says
This is Roundball. If your question is directed to me, yes please use my words in any positive way that you wish. If you use them in a sermon, I’d be interested in hearing what response you get. These ideas are quite new to many people.
Dear Roundball Shaman.
Thank ❤️ You for your magnificent take on impermanence. Have been struggling with this for quite some time and I find you’re words very comforting.
This is very well said and closest to what I think about too. In brief, I was going to say living as a highly sensitive person in this 3D world hasn’t been easy when we’re also living in the 5th dimension of awareness or higher dimensions of our soul during these times of changes. At least we were brave enough to show up for the party because this is no luxury cruise to the Bahamas. More like a trip to the south American jungles we signed up for if you’re following the tide to ascension.
Roundball Shaman says
Aysim says. “…living as a highly sensitive person in this 3D world hasn’t been easy when we’re also living in the 5th dimension of awareness or higher dimensions of our soul during these times of changes.”
Living as highly sensing persons in a 3D world is the greatest blessing because we can see and sense the material (and spiritual) world in deeper ways than others. Our senses pick up on more things. We see and experience subtleties and interconnections that others don’t detect. We have a richer and fuller life experience for this.
But as we know, being high sensing is a constant challenge. It is a tug-of-war between the slower vibrating outer world that weighs us down like dead weight, while as the same we are sensing the stairway to heaven to the lighter, higher-vibrating realms.
Everything that exists is vibration. No ‘thing’ has real substance. Everything is an energy existing at a certain vibrational level. We as high sensing people experience this every moment.
Our challenge is to patient with ourselves and with the outer World when we get frustrated with the State of the World in both a large sense and that of our own personal lives. We remain a (sizeable) minority of the World’s population who does not understand us or how we experience things. They simply have no frame of reference to understand how we are. Therefore, we have to be patient with them and they have to be patient with us.
When you read accounts of Near Death Experiencers, they speak of having senses that are very much enhanced far more so than they ever experienced in Earthly life. I think this is a key. We high sensing people now have been given a head start on what we will be like in the dimensions that lay ahead of us. Highly sensing is a destination ahead for perhaps everyone one day.
Maureen Dougherty says
Roundball, reading all your comments was very moving and refreshing for me.
Thank you. As a new mom, the idea of impermanence can be especially painful sometimes in regards to my children’s lives. I am very spiritual, a reiki master, and I have my B.S. degree in biochemistry. I delve in both the science and spiritual realms.
The transition into motherhood has been wild, painful, terrifying, amazing, and beautiful, and it can be easy for me to loose touch with myself, spirituality and grander perspectives of our tangible world (both macro and microscopic), spiritual relams. For me, motherhood has been a journey of constantly trying to re-discover myself and not lose perspective of many/all the things you wrote in your comments, and I think that’s why your words hit me so deep.
I love the world of atoms electrons and energy, and it’s so nice to be reminded of all of which you stated.
We can manifest energy, and feed into and off of it, just observing plays a role on the energy around us, within us, and even without us. Thank you for that reminder – it was like being reminded of the things I already know but lose touch with a lot.
I very much enjoyed and appreciate your comments and just really needed that right now. (This is the first blog I have ever read on this website, and I haven’t been on this website here in about 4 years).
If you are a frequent writer, I’d love to stay in touch and read more of your thoughts.
Roundball Shaman says
First, thank you for your kind words. A couple reactions…
“As a new mom, the idea of impermanence can be especially painful sometimes in regards to my children’s lives.”
Any ‘fighting’ against impermanence is to disregard what Our Creator baked into the cake of our Earthly existence. Even though impermanence can be distressing to us, we must find the faith and trust in Our Source to know that ‘It’ knows what it’s doing here. Impermanence must have a very central importance to our existence or things would not be like this.
And with regard to your children, some sages have said that there is one thing that never perishes… and that is Love. The love we possess and express for the people and things that we love. That love will endure and is most definitely not impermanent. To find permanence, you express Love.
“For me, motherhood has been a journey of constantly trying to re-discover myself and not lose perspective…”
Yours is just like the journey for all persons who are continuously re-discovering ourselves at every age and stage of our existence. Do people who are ready to pass on from this life truly know everything about themselves? Even at the end of our Earthly days, we will not know ourselves fully. And the necessity of always keeping our sense of perspective is a constant necessity and presence in our lives. The winds are always blowing around us and the sands are always shifting beneath our feet and we constantly have to find our balance amidst this.
We who are highly sensing have been given a great gift to be able to sense more of the changes swirling both around us and within us.
Your children will be especially blessed with a mother who not only loves them but one who can share a special perspective on life with them that few parents have dared to share with their children. Or even know about.
María Josefa says
Es precioso y real lo que has comentado muchas gracias , pero hay que saber mucho sobre la vida para ello y ser muy valiente !, ..
I do not expect you to print this comment because of the content. Maybe if just one person reads it (perhaps Roundball Shaman, perhaps not) that’s good enough. As an HSP, I avoid public speaking anyway.
I’m excited how quantum physics supports a truth revealed to me when I was 26 years old. At that time, unbeknownst to me, I was given psilocybin acid, proceeded to have a delightful, absorbing Out of the Body experience followed by three days of Enlightenment in which everything around me was alive, vibrating, and filled with invisible motion. I was speechless during this time, and thankfully off work all three days. At the time I had no idea I had ingested a drug. I’ve had no experience with acid since then. In fact, I always considered those days to be a Beautiful gift from my higher consciousness to show me the truth of existence—that I am more than a physical woman trapped in a physical world. I am instead a spiritual essence or consciousness in an energy field, sensing things that appear to be solid, yet they’re always moving (changing). What is more real behind my physical illusions is the vibrating energy that composes them. And I’ve felt grateful for the lesson. As a result I have no fear of death because I think a part of me will likely survive.
Then during Covid, at age 69, I read a comprehensive book by Michael Pollan about psilocybin which included several spiritual experiences remarkably identical to mine. I began remembering some details about the party given by the psychologist and his wife, my coworker, who hadn’t shown any interest in me before. Yet at their party they sat very near me, showing great care and interest as they observed me. And when I began to feel spacey, wanting to go home, they showed great interest in my well-being as they escorted me to my date’s car, who was counseled by them for what seemed like 15 minutes before we left. My first day back to work, she sauntered up to me, asking me how I had been doing over the long weekend. I barely replied. She looked into me, inquisitively waiting. She’d not been someone to ask me any questions before, and I felt rather awkward speaking to her, as my world had just recently Exploded.
After carefully reading that book, those three days over 40 years ago suddenly made new sense. I stopped feeling “selected” by my Higher Self for a special lesson, and laughed about how it was likely drug-induced. Little did they know they were giving acid to a Highly Sensitive Person. It was the ride of my life—one I’ll never forget. I’m not going out to shop for more acid, though it did help me make some necessary changes that I was afraid of at that time in my life. It gave me a thirst for learning that motivated me to move away from that small town to study in college. I was so motivated that I attained two degrees on minimum wages, an endeavor I am thankful to have I achieved. It gave me a whole new world view. And quantum physics finally caught up with shamanic world views.
Roundball Shaman says
“I’m excited how quantum physics supports a truth revealed to me when I was 26 years old… everything around me was alive, vibrating, and filled with invisible motion.”
What is being revealed here? That whether it is the use of some substance or some other personal life experience, we need to get out of our normal waking state (prison) mindset to really see who and what we are and what the ‘world’ really is. If we don’t do this, we’re choosing to live a lie.
You have described what the supposed outside world really is ALL THE TIME whether we use our senses and discernment to perceive this or not. We are all living within a Sea of Vibration at all times. We ourselves are a sea of vibrations unto ourselves that exists within a larger such Sea. In a way, we are each unique individual musical tones that sing out within a much larger Symphony of Music which is the entirety of all the vibrations playing out constantly.
“I am instead a spiritual essence or consciousness in an energy field…”
A great description was made by someone who described things this way: “We are energy PRETENDING to be matter”. That’s what a ‘physical’ human being is… energy pretending to be a material person.
“And quantum physics finally caught up with shamanic world views.”
Anyone who says they don’t believe in God or a Higher Spirit just needs to take a deep crash course into cutting-edge quantum physics. If one doesn’t find God through the Church or some other way, you can’t look seriously at quantum physics without realizing that Source is staring you right there in the face. It’s a living miracle of energy and intent and purpose, not random noise or nonsense.
Kay, as for the entire experience you shared… one must wonder how many people have actually had a similar experience in their life but they were either too afraid to share it or the experience was so shattering to the small-world-view that they had grown comfortable with that they rejected their experience. If so, perhaps they weren’t ready for it. But their lives could have been so much more enriched if they had embraced it.
Jackie Keys says
To: Roundball Shaman
Re: Comments about “Impermanence Has Always Been Permanent…What is Your Solution?”
Very creative. I feel a resonance.
I look at the dense energies within myself that have an appearance of being real or permanent and see that they are not flowing with life. They are like experiments I have hung onto for various reasons. Yet now I am in the process of releasing ALL of them, step by step, sometimes stumbling or getting caught up in the whirl for awhile before finding my way to freedom.
RIGHT ON, Roundball Shaman.
Well said. I love it.
Pam Ransom says
This is an amazing explanation of Quantum. I am not sure I understand it (or do it well at all) but I sure would love to learn how.
Thanks for your wisdom.
Blessings to you!
Thank you! This is beautifully-helpful and calming.
Tana Hartman Thorn says
Well said. The brilliant physicist David Bohm thought/spoke about this.
Kathleen Bertrand says
Yeah and thank you for your comment about Dr. David Bohm!
His book, ‘Thought As A System’ is one of my favorites and am reading again for the 6th time. It’s interesting how how his explanation of the Thought System expands with each new reading. It seems to indicate my changes and opening to a new level.
Also, ‘ The Implicate and Explicate Order’ and ‘On Creativity’, are gems for the inquiring mind.
With Loving Kindness,
Lise Ullman says
Thanks for the book recommendations!
Existentialism is obviously the key.
Good article, thank you!
Jeanette Heer says
In December of this year, I will celebrate my 10-year anniversary of my becoming aware that I am a HSP.
I don’t think Hallmark makes a card for that—-Yet. Even my immediate family doesn’t “Get It.” Despite my 10-year campaign to educate them, gently. I advocate for myself, which is fine. But it is always nice to have company, in this journey. To honor this 10-year milestone, I will privately celebrate my “HSP-ness” outdoors, in nature, with a poignant meditative ceremony. Directly to you, Dr. Aron: Thank you from the bottom of my HSP heart. YOU were the source of my awareness, in December 2011. I am heartened to see that the HSP community, worldwide, is growing. Please keep up your compassionate, therapeutic work. It has emotionally saved my life. I’m sure others can attest to this fact, also.
Rev Merrie Bardet Wardell says
Ok. I am doing the greeting everyone who I can with a hello and smile behind my mask, studying with Amrit Desai, Hindu practices, dancing any time I can as I am a dancer of many styles, (that is particularly helpful to forget everything and feel good), and being grateful – making a list of all I am grateful for.
I am starting a Bokwa class which is really a hard “dance” from Africa. (Brain/body routine)
I find it helpful to eat the best foods I can, take Rescue Remedy (homeopathic), be careful where I go meaning I determine if I will feel safe at that time and place, and if not leave. I watch the sunset and the rain and appreciate NATURE by feeding the birds, watch for the moon, garden, bike and swing on my rocker on the deck. Swinging seems to really calm the nerves.
I’m an artist/designer/interfaith minister/meditator as well as HSP since forever. With death and fear all around I find it comforting to call Unity Prayer line occasionally for support to look on the affirmative side of life and challenges.
I have made friends at my local health food store and share my giveaways with the wonderful employees there who have risked so much to serve us all with their service of stocking foods that are helpful to keep one nurtured from inside out.
I hope you all are feeling ways to enjoy some parts of your day as well as putting up with the parts that are challenging to us who feel the pain for others on top of our own. Blessings and love to you all.
Celeste Reed Smith says
When it comes to changing times I have found comfort in knowing that these things were prophesied to happen. For instance 2 Timothy 3:1-5. But know this, that in the last days critical times hard to deal with will be here. 2 For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, haughty, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, disloyal, 3 having no natural affection, not open to any agreement, slanderers, without self-control, fierce, without love of goodness, 4 betrayers, headstrong, puffed up with pride, lovers of pleasures rather than lovers of God, 5 having an appearance of godliness but proving false to its power and from these turn away. “
Linda Lee says
As a middle aged woman, impermanence, or change, certainly has been on my mind. Although there is continuous pressure to adapt, I also take to honoring that part of myself that rightfully seeks to feel grounded. The Bible helps us there as well: Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever.
Beth Barrett says
Remember that your mistakes are impermanent. Acknowledge that you did not do as well as you want to do, and then let it slide into the past. Focus on your successes. They show that impermanence can be progress and growth.
Remember that the abuse you are facing is also impermanent. Let go of those who are abusing you. Move toward those who accept the impermanence of your mistakes and who acknowledge, support, and cheer on your growth.
marietta kosovsky says
Thank you for your comments. I needed them in particular. I must give up negativity from others and only listen to supportive people. I too easily focus on the negative, a remnant of my childhood, but I’m learning to give it up. Your comments were so on the mark for me today.
If you haven’t found Dr Paul Jenkins, he recently did a Youtube video on negativity and dealing with negative people. It might help. (I am in the UK – I have no connection with him.) I find his videos invaluable.
Jackie Keys says
Beth, Thank you for your words,”Remember that the abuse you are facing is also impermanent.” They were like a spark of light illuminating the impermanence of old childhood energies that I mistakenly saw as more permanent, something I thought I had to fix. Now I have a better view that they aren’t so real, just experiences that I can let pass. For why should “I” be the one to hold onto them?!
Kathleen Bertrand says
thank you for that reminder of ‘holding on to childhood painful memories/nightmares!
At 80, the struggle continues …..
Thank you for the reminder about moving toward those that support us.
Kate Faraday says
Beth you might like to look at mistakes as “learning curves” – something I have been counselling individuals over the past 40 years to “have a go at” (in other words, explore, experiment!) and that we will always learn something from every “experience” rather than calling it a”mistake” … sometimes those experiences gift us HSP’s such insight, it can be a revelation, and each experience takes us further along our unique Life Path. I also laughingly share with my students “No-one can BE YOU like you can!” You are BE-YOU-tiful!! Blessings, Kate Faraday, Reiki Master, Life Coach, Therapeutic Musician, Creative Artist, Australia
Well this explains a lot. I’ve always known I’m sensitive but I had no idea that “highly sensitive” was a studied personality trait. I’ve been diagnosed with chronic depression and anxiety. Has there been any research around a connection between these conditions and the highly sensitive trait?
Barbara Allen says
This whole website is dedicated to information on high sensitivity and includes plenty on anxiety and so on. You can read numerous articles on the relationship between HSPs and anxiety/depression as it applies to differential susceptibility. Simply use the search box to look at these topics, Elaine Aron has provided such a lot of wisdom on these topics :).
Renée Paquette says
So profound yet relatable. Thank you for sharing your gift -it truly is a gift to enlighten others.
Nicole Rose Forbus says
Needed this now, especially. I’m currently grieving the greatest loss of my life (& there have been many): 5 weeks ago, my soulpup/best friend/first furbaby of my own passed away. I’m now settled into what I term a “continual sadness,” as the horrific, body crushing emotional meltdowns have ceased (for now). I rationally recognize that life must go on, but my heart continues to struggle with this bizarre, scary “new normal.” After almost 15 years with my dog – we basically grew up together – nothing feels normal, nothing feels right, and I don’t know that it ever will again. I know I must go on for her, and her spirit gives me strength. Being HSP just exacerbates everything to the Nth degree. Thank you for this article. To my fellow sensitives of all ages and backgrounds, I feel you. Keep pushing on….💙
This is my very first time reading up on HSP and self evaluating whether or not this community is where I belong. I don’t know how exactly I ended up reading your comment about your dog’s grief…. It is like something took over my hands as I clicked and scrolled and suddenly stopped at your introductions. I AM SHAKING!!! My pup of 15 years passed away this past February, 2 months before my wedding, and I can’t seem to collect my bearings to this day. I imagined this inevitability over the course of his life many times and I never in a million years predicted the shape shift my identity has taken. i am completely new to a pro HSP life, and the only person who accepts and believes in this is my sweet husband. I am the most emotional out of all my family members, and often get told that I am being dramatic. I am an only child and have been shushed every time for a reaction I cannot control. I was even shamed for crying the night before my wedding by my parents who said it would embarrass them if I cried during my vows or aisle entrance.
I am starting to recognize factors that I didn’t allow myself to consider before this thread. I hope you get to read this Nicole, I don’t know why my my heart is telling me to reach out to you specifically. I don’t know how or why but something is compelling me and I am so overwhelmed!
I hope I have come to the right place, because i have been shut down everywhere else. My husband is the ONLY human I have who believes me, and I think it is important to add that I know he is not an HSP whatsoever. It gives me hope that there are others who understand the difference between emotion and character.
Thank you for listening to my rant. I am not sure if I should cry or smile or both. Can you tell I haven’t been heard in a long time?! LOL!!!
marietta kosovsky says
I understand so well. I was told in my family I was being dramatic, over the top, excessively emotional and spent a good part of my life feeling guilty for being the way I am. Now I know that for many people in my family and outside of my family, they too, have diffuculty expressing emotions, as though it is sinful to have them. I am not suggesing we go hog wild with them but why not own up to having, as one therapist said to me, “A full range of emtions?” I think HSP’s know they are more in touch with their feelings than many others. Don’t let anyone shame you or make you feel embarrassed. I am grateful I have them. Yes, I have to put them in their proper place many times, but how grateful am I to have them? VERY. Thanks for this site. I feel at home.
Linda Lee says
Remember, a troubled childhood can generate an over-dramatic response to life. So it may not be your high sensitivity, but wounds from the past. Just a thought…
I went through this also. My best furfriend died going on 4 years, it wouldnt get easier for me. I still cried for him once a week and found I kept missing him more than ever.
I broke down and got a new furbuddy 3 weeks ago, it isnt the same but it is becoming a nice new friendship.
I hope I didnt make you feel worse ,I just wanted you to know I know how you feel and it is ok to grieve. They really are the best friend you can have in life I believe
I always remember my favorite companion of 17 years, Lilly, the sweetest creature I ever knew. She came to me at a time when I needed a close friend, and she accompanied me through many changes (schools, jobs, moves, divorce, deaths). She was the only thing in my life that didn’t change. Since she passed on 15 years ago, I have felt her presence many times. She is with me as I walk. She comes to me in dreams. I keep a photo album with all her pictures if I need to see her again. She taught me many things that I try to remember and give others. Your grief will pass and transform into a beautiful memory as loving and powerful as the relationship.
I am so sorry for your loss. Thanks be to Jesus, we will be with our loved ones again. Our dogs are family, a precious gift from God.
Chris White says
I am a hyper sensitive man, who also suffers from chronic fatigue syndrome, I worry about a lot of things, it keeps me up at night but if I may I would like to provide just a tad of scientific facts about global warming, why? because it may calm down a bit those who think the end of the world is near….when I read that, it did have a calming effect on me…all the hype and the scary stories about global warming are not helping the ” worry warts” that some of us are…so here is here a bit of science that will put things in perspective…
( the link is at the bottom )
[…] There were at least 17 cycles between glacial and interglacial periods. The glacial periods lasted longer than the interglacial periods. The last glacial period began about 100,000 years ago and lasted until 25,000 years ago. […]
[…]Today we are in a warm interglacial period. […]
[…] The Ice Ages began 2.4 million years ago and lasted until 11,500 years ago. During this time, the earth’s climate repeatedly changed between very cold periods, during which glaciers covered large parts of the world (see map below), and very warm periods during which many of the glaciers melted.[…]
[…] The cold periods are called glacials (ice covering) and the warm periods are called interglacials.[…]
Did you read it? There were 17 warm periods in the last 2 million years, and life on earth survived, we will be ok.
Take a deep breath and stop worrying about the normal changes in the climate.
There is enough to worry about, we do not need to worry about climate when it is doing the same it has been doing for 2 million years.
PS: I read Elaine Aron’s book twice about 15 years ago, once in French and once in English, I LOVED it both times !
Chris White says
I forgot to mention,
the climate is the best example of impermanence…it has been changing for millions of years and will change for millions more years….we are fools to think we can make the climate stable and “permanent”…the climate is impermanent and impermanence is part of life…I was not as off topic as some may think I was 🙂
Fred V says
(Devil’s Advicate) The only difference now, if another glacial came along is that we have modern military technologies and established national borderlines. I cant see the US being very friendly to Central America as they migrate south, or Russia with the rest of Asia. Tensions could rise to the point of nuclear exchange. Could spell the end of a lot of species, humans included.
That’d be quite a change.
Jessica Horton says
I love this so much. Thank you!
Chris White says
you are not publishing my very tame, very polite comment? why?
Wilma Smith says
To my mind, impermanence in itself is not bad (or good), it is just a fact of life. Like birth and death, it is continually happening. Just imagine, at this very moment your cells are changing, your hair is growing and falling out. Impermanence in the sense of change is always there – and a good thing it is to me! I would be bored out of my wits if everything stayed the same!
But what bothers a lot of us is the fear of losing what we love and know, and I do know that as well as probably everyone here. How do I cope with that? In line with what you say, Dr. Aron, about meditation, I have learnt to “be with it”- whatever feeling or emotion gets triggered by the changes we are going through, and all the reactions of people around us to these changes. Just sit with it, let it be heard and seen and felt – that gives it space and leads to a kind of restful feeling inside. I try not to push it away, explain or analyze it, not to ignore or it of be judgmental about it.
And also, noticing all the changes all the time, how a tree might die (naturally, I mean), and feed all sorts of lifeforms, and eventually become new soil for new trees, that helps me a lot as well.
Thanks for this and you are right — ”what bothers a lot of us is the fear of losing what we love and know.” I will take your advice about ”feeling it” and being with it. Trying not to be so sad over a person in a patient setting whom I admire and love deeply (like all HSPs) but who has decided to go in a different direction with her life. Something I can’t control but is causing me deep sorrow in trying to cope. I’ve lost many loved ones due to death but this one — still alive and being in the world but no longer in my world — hurts the most because it is so hard to accept.
Elisa Friedrich says
First of all thank you for your wisdom and inspiration.
And thank you all for your comments and input. It came at the right time.
If I look at my garden, I see the impermanence in the change of the seasons, in bacteria and animals and fungi changing “waste”into fertile soil. I see it in my animal friends shedding their pelt and growing it back thicker or softer. I don’t find it scarry or frightening in nature and I practice to become less frightened in the human realm that seems to pulse hurry, lack and greed born out of fear.
In communing with the Divine, for me it is pulsing through all of matter, allowing nothingness to be within, endless like the Omniverse, it becomes easier to see my high-sensitivity as a gift.
Many good wishes to all of you
Leslie S says
“This too, shall pass,” is my mantra. It allows me to weather the storms and be present with the big and small joys.
Katie G says
Practicing gratitude (not the social media popularized version, but the real, internal reflection and awareness habit) and taking ownership of one’s role in change has helped me deal with impermanence. Even if I don’t like a change that is coming, by acknowledging the larger context and the choices I have power over, I can mitigate the stressors and keep things in perspective.
Someone used the example of a car breaking down, if my car breaks down I take a deep breath, acknowledge that I am grateful to have a car that gets me to and from the important things in my life and the resources to manage it and the friends and family support to get me to and from the repair shop and work in the meantime. Then I CHOSE how and when and where I take the car for repairs. I don’t let the emergency dictate the timeline or my choices.
In using the climate example (which is far more outside our control), I acknowledge that this is a fact and I have to deal with it. I practice gratitude for the climate mitigating resources around me (e.g. living in an area not affected by wildfires or rising sea levels) and I do what I can personally to mitigate the crisis (e.g. walking to work instead of driving, opting in for wind/solar power instead of natural gas/electricity, etc).
I find that a lot of dealing effectively with change/impermanence is 50% knowing and accepting your limitations as a single individual and 50% exercising gratitude and conscientious, thoughtful control over what you can affect.
Stay present, you can only give and receive love here and now.
Mary San Paolo says
Nothing is permanent except change.
Lisa Holden says
Number two made me laugh. I do it all the time. Haha. I have learned to embrace the differences in each stage of life as necessary and good. Since it must be so, then it must be good.
After dealing with my own struggles with depression or numbness/total detachment, I’ve come to the conclusion that stagnation of every kind is what truly holds us back between physical, mental and societal health. Impermanence is important because it is indicative of change. You need to let go to allow new things to flow into your life. Negative things will come and pass giving you a sense of relief and appreciation of what you had and what you will have. Good things wil come and pass and that feeling of pain is a reminder you are alive and loving the world to your greatest extents. As another commenter wrote, its cyclical, so by allowing yourself to feel freely without desperately clinging to something you allow the next thing to flow in through you. These emotions are healthy and allow you to live.
The real tragedy isn’t losing something, it’s being too numb to feel loss when it happens, or love when good things come back
Roundball Shaman says
“…stagnation of every kind is what truly holds us back between physical, mental and societal health.”
And what causes our stagnation? We lose touch with our true essential nature. We are at our core free and creative beings gifted with the Nature of our Source Creator. When something comes along to side-track us from being in touch with and acting out of our core creative, free nature is when we are off the rails and can only get into trouble. The answer is found in getting back in touch with our real self, not the false self that we morphed into.
“Impermanence is important because it is indicative of change. You need to let go to allow new things to flow into your life.”
We need to let go of things that don’t work for us or reflect who we really are. That kind of stuff always needs to go. But we never have to let go of anything that is pleasing and authentic of our real self.
“The real tragedy isn’t losing something, it’s being too numb to feel loss when it happens, or love when good things come back.”
Numbness comes from persistent pain where we try to find a method to escape that feeling. But pain is a useful warning signal to us that something is not right and demands our attention. So our answers are found not so much in trying to dull the pain as in exploring the pain and finding it’s source so we can correct it at its root.
No one likes pain. But in pain, we find answers. We discover things. We feel our way out of the pain when we identify its cause and set a more positive and better-feeling path out of it.
And then, we are more open to good things and good feelings.
Patti DiMiceli says
🦋 Children and animals are The Wise Ones, I believe. They are still “fresh” from The Other Side until, and if, they become indoctrinated to adapt to this world and the people in it. My 4 year old daughter, Amber, was one my Teachers and a Wise One herself.
Before she died on my 27th birthday in 1980, she revealed many insights which I documented for her book, “Embrace the Angel” (free eBook on our website). I documented everything, including the moment she crossed The Threshold which was a physical miracle. Two of the most profound:
1) “Mom, I KNOW I’m here to help a lot of people.”
2) “Mom, when I die, I’ll still be Amber, I’ll just be DIFFERENT.”
Amber slipped into a coma just after midnight. I dressed her in the clothes she picked “to go to Heaven,” brought her downstairs to the sofa, and placed the Key to Heaven in her hand. She wasn’t afraid to die. Most kids aren’t.
A few weeks earlier, as I was standing in line in the hospital gift shop while she was undergoing tests, I heard, “Turn around.” I did. I saw a large rack of golden keys. “Give this to Amber. Tell her she can open the Golden Gates to Heaven.” Now her tiny hand held The Key.
I told her every…single…thing I wanted her to know while she was still on this earth. Tears began to fall from her eyes. I gently wiped them. She was afraid to leave me. When I said the words, “I’ll be okay, Amber. Go now. Be with God. Be with God, Amber,” she stopped breathing.
At that exact moment, I PHYSICALLY felt her leave her body, merge with The Light, and pass right through me. My whole body was tingling…buzzing as though I’d be electrocuted. It was a miracle I could not deny. I captured it on tape. Had I not done that, this miracle would’ve slipped into history. But it didn’t.
For the last 40+ years, I’ve shared Amber’s miracle with the world. She told me what happens when our bodies die. I didn’t “lose a daughter.” She didn’t “pass away.” She simply changed. She is with me now as I write these words and you read them. So is the Key to Heaven which sits next to my keyboard.
“Impermanence” itself is permanent. It is the human definition of life as we know it here on earth. On The Other Side, there are no “boundaries or bodies” and so there is no “death,” only the “energy” we know as Life.
I am so incredibly blessed to have given birth to an Angel, been guided to document her life and her death, and now share her message of “Hope, Heaven, and the Miracle of Life & Death” with those who need it most: Those who are living, dying, and grieving. 🤗 🙏 😇
Embrace impermanence. It is such a great conquest to learn to live in the umpredictable!
I just happened upon Dr. Joe Dispenza speaking about thoughts having a positive charge and feelings having a magnetic charge in the quantum field. I do not know of Dr. Dispenza but his comments led me to you.
Learning that I am in HSP has been a godsend. I am a work in progress. After what I’ve learned today I feel that I want to get “impermanence”tattooed on my arm…lol!
Thank you 💛
Correction: thoughts have a an electric charge in the quantum field