Guest Blog By: Jacquelyn Strickland, LPC
According to the documentary Sensitive: The Untold Story, there are 1.4 billion highly sensitive people (HSPs) in the world (15-20% of the population). As Elaine Aron’s research has shown, 30% of that 15-20% of the HSP population are sensitive extroverts – or approximately 420 million HSPs. Unfortunately, due in great part to social media and recent books published on introversion, these 420 million sensitive extroverts are often mislabeled or lumped into a general category of extroversion. They are often referred to as the “extroverted introvert,” the “outgoing introvert” or the “contemplative extrovert.”
It is important to differentiate between the introverts and extroverts who are HSP and those who do not self-identify as HSPs. All HSPs, whether introvert or extrovert, possess four main characteristics as identified by research psychologist, Dr. Elaine Aron in Psychotherapy and the Highly Sensitive Person (2010.)
These four are: D.O.E.S.
1) Depth of Processing
2) Over Stimulation
3) Emotional Responsiveness & Empathy
4) Sensitive to Subtleties
The other 80% of the population, who are not highly sensitive, do not possess these four characteristics, nor the implications associated with them.
It is easy to see why the lines between introversion, extroversion and high sensitivity have become blurred. I believe this confusion first began when two very helpful books on introversion were published: The Introvert Advantage (Laney 2002) and Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Won’t Stop Talking (Cain 2012.) Both of these books have been especially beneficial not only to introverts, but also to highly sensitive people as well.
The Introvert Advantage has done an excellent job of bridging a gap between introverts and extroverts. I especially liked her book because Laney advocates for those who have often felt disregarded, unseen or like “something was wrong with them.” These sentiments are almost identical to the ones shared by the highly sensitive people I have had the honor of working with since 2000.
Susan Cain’s well-written, researched book, Quiet, includes 7-10 pages describing Elaine Aron’s research. Perhaps it is here that the definitions between Sensory Processing Sensitivity and introversion begin to merge? Any hoped for discussion about correlations or overlaps between the two are unfortunately omitted. Cain does attempt to clarify or prevent possible confusion by sharing that she deliberately chose a broader definition of introversion, drawing on the work of many, including Jerome Kagan and Elaine Aron. (p. 269, Quiet.)
Susan Cain attended the 10th HSP Gathering Retreat at Walker Creek Ranch in Marin County in 2006, and I was delighted to read a detailed account of her retreat experience in Quiet, (pp. 133-134.) It was at this retreat that Susan shared her interest in the connection between introversion and sensitivity. Later, I was honored to be interviewed for her book, along with Dr. Aron. However, when her book was published, I found myself confused and a bit dismayed when reading the description of “introversion.” I was confused mainly because my non-HSP introvert spouse was nowhere to be found in Quiet, yet I saw myself, the sensitive extrovert, throughout. I soon realized Dr. Aron shared a similar reaction of dismay.
In fact, from Aron’s Psychology Today blog (2012) article she states:
“…Her (Cain’s) discussion of “introversion” throughout (her book) is almost identical to what has become the standard definition of high sensitivity—deep thinkers, preferring to process slowly, sensitive to stimuli, emotionally reactive, needing time alone, and so forth, all as described in the first scientific paper specifically on sensitivity, published in 1997…”
The confusion is easy to understand given Cain’s broad definition of an introvert:
“…a man of contemplation ~ one who is: reflective, cerebral, bookish, unassuming, sensitive, thoughtful, serious, contemplative, subtle, introspective, inner-directed, gentle, calm, modest, solitude-seeking, shy, risk-adverse and thin skinned…” (Quiet, p. 270)
Here is Cain’s definition of the extrovert, described in Quiet:
“…a man of action, one who is: ebullient, expansive, sociable, gregarious, excitable, dominant, assertive, active, risk-taking, thick-skinned, outer-directed, lighthearted, bold and comfortable in the spotlight…” (Quiet, p. 270)
More Confusion
There are many more conflicting definitions of introversion and extroversion, and these abound in many social media sites on introversion as well. The Myers Briggs Personality Assessment, and others like it, add to the confusion as they rightly confirm: “extroverts get their energy renewed by spending time with people, involved in a wide variety of events or social activities.” And that introverts: “get their energy renewed by spending alone, taking time to inwardly, process and think about ideas, and to participate in quieter, more thoughtful activities.”
But we do have to ask: What about the sensitive extrovert? We also pause to check (reflect) have deep, complex inner lives (introspective) thrive when connecting deeply with others; and need extra downtime to process the events of our day (inner directed). We also need more sleep than others; and we need solitude or downtime to recover from overstimulation. See how easy it is to confuse the characteristics of highly sensitive people with a broader definition of introversion?
It is this confusion that motivated my research with the sensitive extrovert which encompassed the following: more than 100 written survey responses over 10 years; 37 in-depth semi-structured interviews with sensitive extraverts between the ages of 35 and 70; and my own ethnographic observations over 16 years gained from observing HSPs at 33 HSP Gathering Retreats. This research was enhanced by twenty years as a Licensed Professional Counselor, 17 of those working exclusively with HSPs. My work has also included administering and interpreting the Myers Briggs Personality Assessment to a multitude individuals since becoming certified to utilize this tool in 1991.
Although I am a great fan of the Myers Briggs, having been certified in its use since 1991, it is important, especially in the context of this work, to note it was conceptualized long before the research into our trait of SPS Sensory Processing Sensitivity. This gap in knowledge inspired the creation of my class: Myers Briggs with the HSP Overlay. This class helps, along with many other insights, helps to differentiate HSP introversion and HSP extroversion from the general categories of introversion and extroversion.
Understanding the Highly Sensitive Extrovert – Truths and Misconceptions
- The highly sensitive extrovert (HSE) meets most if not all of the criteria Cain uses to describe the introvert in Quiet. We are contemplative, introspective, kind, gentle, empathetic, creative, visionary, intense, and perceptive. Many of us are social justice activists, teachers, humanitarians, poets, spiritual teachers or counselors, and prefer a less stimulating environment over a more “random” social one.
- The HSE does need to go “inward.” It is in these quieter environments where we retreat for the deep, internal processing that comes naturally to being an HSP. This inward state is also where our spiritual life resides and where we rest and recharge from an often harried external world.
- The HSE also needs to gain energy from the external world, because if we spend too much time in this inner world, we can become, lethargic, restless, unmotivated or even slightly depressed. It is then we know we need to get out of our inner world and seek “novel” stimulation which will inspire or energize us. Notice the word “novel” — our excursions in the outer world need to be novel, and chosen by us, based on our individual needs, or else the activity can become just as overstimulating for us as the introvert HSP. And even when we are out, very much enjoying ourselves, we can often return home overstimulated, physically tired, and in need of extra sleep or processing time.
- The HSE is not the same as the ambivert. Why? Because ambiversion implies one can choose to go out, engage in social activities and enjoy themselves without the kind of over stimulation, deep processing, or awareness of subtleties that HSPs encounter. Ambiversion also does not take into account the other characteristics in the D.OE.S. acronym mentioned above.
- When in more positive environments, as individually defined by the HSE, we can be highly responsive and our natural joy, curiosity and enthusiasm might be viewed as generally extroverted. Our highly sensitive enthusiasm can be contagious, yet if we are not careful, we can become easily overstimulated, and may overstimulate others as well. In more negative environments, the HSE can appear to be introverted. We can also become quiet, reserved or withdrawn. A further explanation of this can be found in the “differential susceptibility” work of Belsky & Pluess (2009.)
- Unlike the introvert, the HSE looks forward to creating meaningful time out in the world, and are often catalysts for others to join in our unique adventures. However, we can grow tired, and depleted of energy, being the only one to initiate activities with our more introverted companions.
- Because of our tendency toward overstimulation, it is not unusual for the HSE to leave an event early. Even when enjoying an activity, we can often return home feeling “wired and tired” because the very chosen activity that energized us, can also make us tired and in need of alone time or a nap.
- The HSE can often be found engaged in interesting, novel, creative activities outside the home – and we often enjoy these activities more with one or two others. When out and about in their chosen activities, they are warm and engaging, often enjoying or initiating conversations with strangers they meet, and/or sometimes making a new friend.
- Some research (Laney 2002) indicates the neurotransmitter dopamine energizes the extravert brain causing, them to seek external rewards in the form of status, money, sex, social affiliation or a promotion at work. It is important to know the HSP, introvert or extrovert, is not motivated by these external societal rewards. In fact, quite the opposite is true. The highly sensitive person, extrovert or introvert, reflects more about the “way the world is going;” is more concerned with deep, meaningful relationships; and the exploration of the meaning of life, social injustices, and why things are the way they are. In fact, Barrie Jaeger’s book, Making Work Work for the Highly Sensitive Person makes it clear that the HSP is more in need of “psychic income” and will often take a position lower in salary if the job offers opportunity for meaningful engagement in the world.
- HSEs differ according to their age. The younger HSE is likely to be quite social, never turning down an invitation to do something with their friends. This might be because they possess more physical energy which allows them to enjoy more extroverted activities. The more mature, or older HSE, is not rewarded by social activities, nor by interacting with friends or strangers, unless it is an environment and interaction based on trust, openness, and authenticity.
- Our passions manifest outwardly and we will easily risk our comfort zone for causes that are important to us. Many HSEs are social justice activists, speaking out passionately for what we believe. Many of us are leaders, not because we want to be, and not because we enjoy the spotlight (we don’t), but because our compassionate convictions have placed us in leadership roles, often because no one else has stepped up to the plate. You will find many HSEs passionate and expressive about what they do to make the world a better place, especially when reciprocity and mutuality are in place.
- Unlike the HSP introvert, we go inward (i.e., we “introvert” as a verb) mainly to recover, rest and renew – not necessarily because we “prefer” to be alone. After our physical and mental energies are recharged by being “in,” we go “out” to manifest our visions, our passions, or our work in the world. We enjoy sharing our ideas with other like-minded individuals.
- The HSE extravert is warm, engaging, expressive, and easy to know, and can make and keep friends without too much difficulty, although they are usually easily fulfilled with only small circle of close, loyal and true friendships. It is always easy to identify the sensitive extrovert who attends an HSP Gathering Retreat. I never have to wonder if they are enjoying themselves for their smiles, openness and conversations leave no question that they are happy they came. Introverts are more difficult to read, at least for the first two days. Then, the introvert HSP shows up just as engaged as the sensitive extrovert.
- The HSE can often unconsciously challenge the status quo, by simply stating something they are passionate about in an off-handed way. This then draws attention to themselves, which is something we find very uncomfortable, thus we withdraw, and can appear as introverts. However, if our values are in jeopardy, we can be passionate, outspoken and will tolerate overstimulation and attention in order to make our point of view understood, or to challenge an injustice.
- The majority of HSEs are most likely high sensation seekers (HSS), (https://hsperson.com/test/high-sensation-seeking-test/) although not necessarily in a physically challenging kind of way. We are seekers of novelty and do not shy away from intense experiences, if chosen by us. The same could be said for introverts who are high sensation seeking.
- For the HSE/HSS, being under-stimulated can be just as anxiety-producing as being overstimulated. Thus finding one’s “optimal level of stimulation” is often difficult …yet rewarding, energizing and nurturing when understood, experienced and maintained.
- Many HSEs find great enjoyment in jobs that allow them to teach a subject matter they enjoy. For example, one sensitive extrovert loved being a successful coach of a girls’ volleyball team, yet she dreaded “recognition night” when she had to use a microphone to bestow awards, and speak to a crowd of parents. Other sensitive extroverts, when allowed to manage their own time, have found parenting to be a great joy. Others found teaching to be extremely rewarding, yet were drained by public school environments.
- The HSE thrives on deep meaningful connections with others. We often work best when collaborating with others, especially when feeling safe to share our truest thoughts and feelings. We are creative, visionary and inspired by common interests we share with others. We thrive on mutuality, reciprocity and empathy, and can wither without it.
- Just like the HSP introvert, feeling misunderstood, excluded or invalidated is a recurring theme for the sensitive extrovert as well. The HSE identified as feeling things deeply, being emotional, caring deeply about others and the world at large.
More from a Myers Briggs Perspective
My research, including interpreting Myers Brigs results with scores of HSPs, has shown the majority of HSPs are of the “NF” temperament, specifically: INFP, followed by INFJ, then ENFP, ENFJ. Then comes ISFJ, and less frequently, ESFJ. There are many HSPs who are “Ts” and can be found within the “NT” temperament, such as INTP and INTJ. Fewer HSPs are ISTJ, ISTP. I have met only two HSPs who identified as ESTJ.
Many sensitive extroverts mistakenly think they are introverts because their (Myers Briggs) raw scores between the E (extraversion) and the I (introversion) are very low. This usually leads to the misconception that they are either ambiverts, or that they are well-balanced between the two preferences. This is not accurate. According to Myers Briggs theory, a low score between preferences indicates some sort of transition or turmoil between the two functions. Example: the HSE is often overstimulated and harried when in the external world, yet they can become easily bored, lethargic or experience a low grade depression if “introverting” (as in a verb) for too long, thus there often is a sense of transition or turmoil between extroversion and introversion for the HSE.
Many HSEs can be led to believe they are introverts because of their avoidance of crowded, noisy places, their need for alone time and their general misunderstanding about the difference between the HSP extrovert and the non-HSP extrovert. Here is what one participant, fairly new to the HSP trait shared after her participation in my Myers Briggs/HSP Overlay class:
“…It is exciting to understand more about my HSP trait and the Myers Briggs. This has helped me understand my sensitivity, and some of my extraversion desires that otherwise have always felt so contradictory. I finally know I’m not a “contemplative extrovert,”, or an “outgoing introvert” ~~ I am a highly sensitive extrovert. I can’t tell you how much sense this makes to me… It helps me discover what balance looks like in my life within the E and HSP context – a balance which has eluded me for many years. I look forward to consciously choosing to honor both my extraversion and my sensitivity and to finding a more nurturing and meaningful balance between the two…”
So are there any differences between the HSP Extrovert and the HSP Introvert?
Yes, there are. However, my research clearly shows the difference between the sensitive extrovert and sensitive introvert to be quite small. The greater difference was between the HSP population, and the other 80% who do not self-identify with the Sensory Processing Sensitivity Trait. However, here are a few differences between the sensitive extrovert and sensitive introvert.
- We do prefer to share our thoughts and feelings out loud rather than write them. In fact, when confused or seeking clarity, we might first jot down a few notes, but are most relieved and gain the most clarity when talking with a trusted friend.
- We do not like to share our personal lives or habits via social media, however, we do easily share our personal lives in person with those we know, like and trust.
- Unlike what social media tells us about the introvert the HSE does not mind talking on the phone. In fact, the phone has nothing to do with it – it is the person we are talking to and the context of the conversation that means the most to us. So, yes, we will let the call go to voicemail if we don’t recognize the caller. Yet, if it is a call from someone in our “Inner HSP Circle” or someone we know and trust, we joyfully receive their call, and are most likely enriched, or energized, by the context of our conversation.
Neither the HSE, nor HSP introvert enjoys small talk. However, observations made about two days into the four day HSP Gathering Retreats show that after the opportunity to “go deep” and share our “authentic” selves, the HSP can and does engage in small talk often much to their surprise.
Conclusion
The HSE is not the “man of action” described in Quiet. It is also not accurate to assume the non-HSP introvert, like my spouse, (who makes up the majority of the introvert population as seen in the graph on p. 1) is the “man of contemplation.” Finally, it is accurate, and only fair, to differentiate between four temperaments: the HSE, the HS Introvert, the extrovert who is not an HSP, and the introvert who is not an HSP. To understand these differences, it is important to overlay any discussions of extroversion and introversion with the D.O.E.S. ~ (1~Depth of Processing; 2~Overstimulation; 3~Emotional Intensity, Empathy and Responsiveness, and 4~ Sensitive to Subtleties) because as previously discussed, these apply to all highly sensitive people. The D.O.E.S. does not apply to all introverts or extroverts, especially those who do not self-identify as highly sensitive people.
Elaine Aron closes her article in Psychology Today (2012) mentioned earlier with this statement:
“…Well, whatever we name this trait, the most recent research suggests that the general strategy of being more sensitive is determined by multiple genes, and these do not come with names on them. We scientists are creating the names—introverted, inhibited, shy, sensitive, and responsive. As we learn more, we will become more accurate. For now, if you are socially extroverted yet feel things deeply, ponder the meaning of life, reflect before acting, and need a lot of down time, please, be patient. If you are socially introverted but not especially bothered by loud noise, are not very emotional, and make decisions rather easily, please also be patient. We’ll get it right about you, too…”
It is my hope this article will help expand the conversation, and encourage more accurate definitions between introversion, extraversion and the highly sensitive person. It is also my hope that the 420 million sensitive extroverts may more readily and easily identify as the highly sensitive person they are, so they can better plan for the type self-care that empowers all HSPs.
Warmly,
Jacquelyn
Jacquelyn Strickland, LPC, is a sensitive extravert (ENFP) who has a very well developed introvert side which she thoroughly enjoys and needs. She has been married to a non-HSP introvert (ISTP) since 1978, and is the mother two grown introvert sons, one of whom is an HSP, and the other who is quite kind and thoughtful, though does not possess the SPS trait of more finely tuned nervous system. She is almost certain her eldest granddaughter, born in 2014, is a sensitive extrovert. She explains this more thoroughly in the chapter on sensitive extroversion in her book on empowerment and the highly sensitive person ~ the book that, despite her resistance, has been writing itself.
She has been a Licensed Professional Counselor since 1993, working exclusively, and quietly, with HSPs since 2000. She has been certified as a Myers Briggs professional since 1991, and has shared the Myers Briggs with hundreds of HSPs since 2000. She is the co-creator of the HSP Gathering Retreats Since 2001 with Dr. Elaine Aron.Note: I would be remiss if I did not publicly acknowledge Dr. Leslie Dodson, a friend, colleague, sensitive extrovert and global humanitarian extraordinaire, for her gracious mutuality, reciprocity and collaboration as she helped me clarify the results of my research. Thank you dear Leslie.
References:
Blesky, Pluess, (2009) Beyond Diathesis Stress: Differential Susceptibility to Environmental Influences, Psychological Bulletin, 2009, Vol. 135, No. 6, 885–908
Aron, Elaine (2012) Psychotherapy and the Highly Sensitive.
Aron, E. (2012, February 2). Psychology Today. Retrieved from Time Magazine: “The Power of (Shyness)” and High Sensitivity: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/attending-the-undervalued-self/201202/time-magazine-the-power-shyness-and-high-sensitivity
Cain, Susan, (2012) Quiet, The Power of Introverts in a world that won’t stop talking.
As an HSE I just want to say THANK YOU for writing this article – so much that resonates for me.
The contrast between a younger and older HSE absolutely described the changes I have seen as I move through my forties and have less free time and energy than I did when I was younger.
You have also helped me clarify why finding the right levels of stimulation are so important for my wellbeing.
I would love to spend time with other HSE’s. I’m not sure that I’ve ever known any others, at least not well.
Hello Joy, Thanks for checking in here.
Yes, as sensitive extroverts our sense of well-being is greatly enhanced by meaningful
relationships which nurture us. Of course, these types of relationships are hard to find, especially as we age. For me, being with other HSPs helps to create that perfect balance between over and under stimulation, mainly because I have learned to set boundaries when feeling tired or over stimulated, and to reach out beyond my comfort zone to maintain and create relationships with other HSPs. I would encourage you to consider attending a HSP Gathering Retreat http://www.lifeworkshelp.com/hspgathering.htm or see if there is an HSP Meet Up near you.
It is worth the effort to find other HSPs … Here are ten gifts that one may receive when in such relationships. This is from an older newsletter article. http://www.lifeworkshelp.com/HSP-Newsletter/top-ten-reasons-to-have-a-hsp-dyad-partnership/
I hope you find these helpful.
Hi, thank you so much for this! As an HSE I’ve found lots of interesting and useful information over the years but nothing that’s truly fitted before. I’d love to attend a meet but I’m in the UK. Do you know of any groups I could approach?
Laura xxx
Thanks for that – I think my husband would relate to the point about taking the pressure off the non-hsp spouse!!
I’m also in the UK – I notice you held an event in Dorset in the summer – I will keep my eye out for more.
Thanks
Hi Joy, I am definitely a HSE as well! If you would like to connect, you can email me at vince8525@gmail.com (an old email, and then I can write you from my current personal email).
Firstly, thank you Jacquelyn for allowing me to understand myself in a way I didn’t think possible. I’m completely felt muddled by the Myers Briggs assessment because I relish the opportunity to see people who I know are going to energise me and regularly strike up conversations with strangers but cling onto my “downtime” for dear life – only to become agitated or depressed if I have too much of it.
This understanding will allow me to be a lot gentler on myself rather than wondering why, if I know I get overwhelmed by doing too much or trying/learning new things, do I constantly seek out opportunities to do so?
And Lisa and Joy I’m totally with you, my first thought was I’d love to connect with other people who understand where I’m coming from and who (hopefully) see my rambling comment as one that maybe rings a little true!
This explains so much! Thank you for gathering and putting this information out there. I have been trying to figure out if I am an INFP or ENFP for a long time, and nothing hit the nail on the head quite like this.
Jacquelyn, thank you so much for this timely clarification – having worked therapeutically for 25 years with many, many HSPs, your description of the extroverted HSP really rings true to my own experience of HSEs. This discussion and de-generalisation is long overdue and I think it will open doors to better self-understanding for extroverted highly sensitive people and those who wish to know them as they really are. I await your book with excited anticipation 🙂
Dearest Barbara,
Thank YOU for your many years of service and stewardship to HSPs not only via your National Centre for High Sensitivity, http://www.hspsensitive.com but also for your support of me and my HSP work, and the HSP Gathering Retreats.
Looking forward to having you as my co-host for the 34th HSP Gathering Retreat, coming up 14-18 June in Dorset, England !
Finally, I feel understood!!! I was introduced last year to HSP and my world was transformed, yet I was still troubled by the suggestion, that I preferred my own company, and was introverted somehow, or I couldn’t be SHO too…anyone who knows me knows I am definitely an extrovert, it exhausts me but I can’t be anyone else, I love people from the bottom of my heart but they often break my heart!!! Now I understand how I can be both SHO and an extrovert and I can stop apologising for my passion for any kind of social injustice, albeit I might want to tone it down a bit so as not to get other people’s backs up!!! Thank you for sharing, Jacqelyn,
Tracy
Hi Tracy, Welcome to the world of highly sensitive people. As you are no doubt finding out, there is much to learn and integrate and it often takes a few years to feel like “it is all going to be just fine.” 🙂 Being a sensitive extrovert can exhaust me too, especially in social situations which are not “HSP friendly.” Unlike in my younger sensitive extrovert years, I’ve learned to set boundaries around my time, energy, space and most importantly, my heart. And, I am right there with you on any social justice issue … Not sure what you mean by SHO ? Take care. Jacquelyn
THANK YOU! THANK YOU!
I read “Quiet” and became confused. This book suggested by my therapist to understand my husband. Who is actually a manipulative narcissist. I have become quite damaged emotionally by this personality which maybe you might have some understanding??
Also, no one seems to understand why I sink to such lows over what they might consider little things – crying in church when the music hits my soul or crying at a talk show about a heart transplant and the parents hearing their daughter’s heart beating in the recipient.
I too am an HSP extrovert I love people and they are fascinating! I FINALLY feel like someone understands me! Maybe??
Dear Renee, Ouch… I can only imagine the confusion and hurt having your therapist recommend Quiet to better understand your introverted (?) manipulative, narcissist husband. 🙁 That is a pretty harsh description and if it is accurate, I do hope you are finding ways to make changes to protect yourself from abuse.
Easily sinking to lows is a challenge, isn’t it? Although I find crying in church a great feeling as long as I am able to contain myself .. because I am in touch with something deep and beautiful. I have to work hard to manage (and honor) my response to what I call my “inevitable emotional response to disturbing events” whether this be a mere disappointment with someone or something — or a greater grief about world events.
As an HSE that’s father represents your description of your husband, I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that the thing he was most sensitive about was himself and controlled by his own carnal desires. I cannot speak for yours but after spending a lifetime trying to engage with my father on a deep emotional level I found and I am pretty much as experimental as it gets that nothing so far has worked and that involves 45 years of trying not just by me but by my other family members. the only thing I can say for sure is no matter how many times my father does hurtful things he will continue to as long as he lives, if you see this pattern in your husband and my experience helps supplant this then decide for yourself what is your best way forward as there are no easy answers the best path is the one you believe in. Wishing you the best of luck and the outcome that makes you happy 🙂
Wow, thank you for writing this! I have always considered myself an Introvert, then also HSP, but something wasn’t quite right. I do need the novelty of new ideas, I do process my thoughts out loud (which my IHSP husband patiently endures), and I always felt torn between connecting with people and needing to be reflective, recharge by being alone, etc. But I NEVER (until now) considered I might actually be an extroverted HSP. It makes so much sense to me, so THANK YOU. Since I am working on a course for helping HSPs to heal wounds of the past, this is also crucial information. Again, THANK YOU so much for your well-written, well-researched article that adds so much to the discussion. I will be writing a blog connecting people with you very soon. First I must ponder and process this, to reframe some things in my life according to this new perspective.
This especially struck me: “Many of us are leaders, not because we want to be, and not because we enjoy the spotlight (we don’t), but because our compassionate convictions have placed us in leadership roles, often because no one else has stepped up to the plate.” I just had a dream last night that was about this very thing! I won’t go into detail, but it was exactly that: I was the only one that noticed something was wrong (“sensitive to subtleties”), no one else noticed or cared, so I took on the responsibility, but was not helped by anyone because no one else seemed to care (and I cared very much….). The story of an HSE’s life?
Hello Diane,
You are one of many HSP I’ve encountered that “always thought they were an introvert” only to rediscover that they are actually sensitive extroverts. I am often mistaken for being an introvert because : a) I work at home with little social interaction; b) I’m married to a non-HSP introvert who could stay home forever without the need to go “out; c) I basically live an “introverted” kind of life because I very much need my alone, inner time to recharge from an often harried, external world. My biggest challenge is “staying IN too long” and not making the effort to create and manifest rewarding external activities that meet my sensitive extrovert needs. Then, as I shared, a sense of lethargy sets in… So, goes the “balancing act’ between being IN and / or OUT. Elaine’s first book has an excellent quiz about being too in or out.
Good luck with our HSP course to help heal past wounds – a much needed process for HSPs. I’m sure you are being “called” to be a leader — in your own sensitive extroverted kind of way.
Jaqueline,
I appreciate your reply, which helps me tremendously understand myself. (I just sent this link to a client who always thought of herself as an I, but might well be an EHSP–she suffers so much from lack of connection and not feeling understood. That’s how I found you had so kindly responded to my comment, or I would have responded sooner.)
Thanks too for the encouragement about the course! Your article will be one of the resources.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I am a highly sensitive extrovert and this describes me to a T! And I think that my daughter is too. Please keep up the great work that you have been doing!
HI Catherine,
Thank you. Lucky for your daughter that she has a sensitive extrovert Mother who knows her ! Sounds like it could be a positive for both of you — if, as we know, our needs are known and managed properly. 🙂
Dear Elaine Aron and dear Jaqueline. I have followed this discussion and have felt the HSE confusion very strongly. I met Jaqueline at the Gathering in Sweden 2013 and believe I was one who had seen myself as an ambivert and HSP – but ofcourse for reasons Jaqueline describes in this blog I didn’t fit the ambivert description either.
This makes so much sense and for me it is a huge relief to see it all spelled out. I have avoided much of the HSP community a lot due to this confusion and have felt being wrongly labeled by many well intended people instinctly feeling, once again not included.
All my love to you both!
Chrissie
Oh Chrissie, How lovely to hear from you … Your smile and energy immediately came to mind … and I knew when meeting you at the Sweden – 26th HSP Gathering Retreat in 2013 that you were a sensitive extrovert. 🙂 You were one of those who were warm and engaging, and I didn’t have to wonder (or worry) if you were enjoying yourself. 🙂 Your energy as a sensitive extrovert added much to this Gathering… and like I shared, our “enthusiast can often be contagious.”
Feeling excluded is painful and confusing… We will be discussing this theme at the 34th HSP Gathering in Dorset, England 14-18 June. It is not an unusual experience for we HSPs. As you know, finding meaningful mutual, reciprocal relationships are paramount to our well being as a sensitive extrovert.
with fond memories of Sweden , love, Jacquelyn
Very interesting article. As an HSP, I still haven’t decided whether I’m introvert or extrovert. I sometimes feel like I’m an extrovert who didn’t find anyone to be an extrovert with! As a male HSP with a difficult childhood who was unable to fit in to the traditional male macho culture, I wonder if it’s possible for HSPs (especially males) to be repressed extroverts because of our particular difficulty in fitting in to existing social norms?
Looking forward to finding out more about Myers Briggs as I’m attending the UK International meeting in June.
i think you make some interesting points.
I am introvert who LOVES to communicate via writing. my perfect mode is writing.
although zi speak well & told eloquently, I loathe actually speaking & often play the clown just to see some genuine emotion. I find mostly feeling forced to speak quickly
& find little active listening in most conversation.
I refuse to own a cell phone. leave a message on the landline for necessary appointments.
most of my conversations soliloquays are in spiral binders…I only hope one day to be understood by someone but probably not . writing is my catharsis. I came to observe…detached but very much at ease until….someone speaks & asks what do you always WRITE about at starbucks. God knows which of the labels I fall under.
am I an anomoly or typical personality type of….?
HI Susan, It sounds like you are definitely an HSP introvert — someone loves writing — and is probably very good at it (definitely not me 🙁 I applaud your ability to push back against the pressure to own a cell phone. I try hard to limit the use of my cell phone.
I imagine your conversation soliloquies in spiral binders are quite interesting. Have you even considered publishing any of them? I know what you mean about “active listening” — it seems to be a skill only therapists practice when being paid. I think there are many variables in play when it comes to one choosing to actively listen to another. I have learned to specifically ask for this type of listening when I need it most — at least from those closest to me.
And when someone asks what you are writing about at Starbucks, I would like to challenge you to view their question as sincere interest … Maybe with a keenly inspired reply you might be surprised at who you might connect with ? Just a thought. take care, keep writing, Jacquelyn
Dear Paul,
You make some very interesting and valid points … I definitely think it is possible for sensitive extrovert males who had difficult childhoods, and who do not fit into a macho culture to be “repressed” not only as sensitive extroverts but in many other ways as well.
I will look forward to sharing sensitive extrovert energy with you at the 34th HSP Gathering Retreat. It will be fun watching you find others to “extrovert” with — in our own unique HSP kind of way.
See you soon, Jacquelyn
A big thank you for a clear elucidating and reassuring article.
I wish I could voice the truths to those in my world.
Is your book available to be purchased?
My very best wishes to you and all your work. Josie Cohen
Dear Josie ,
I love hearing the adjectives “elucidating and reassuring” to describe my article, as I spent so many hours worrying, as we HSPs can tend to do, about how to “voice those truths to the world.” My book is not yet available .. it is still under construction… but hearing from those like yourself who are waiting for it is great encouragement. Thank you.
Thank you for this Jacqueline, this completely echoes my own reflections, musings and at times confusion on these questions: I am a HS Introvert and my experience resonated very much with Elaine’s work, alongside the very books of Susan Cain and Marti Olsen-Laney’s that you mention. I am also a psychologist who has spent many years as an HR practitioner using personality questionnaires, and I totally concur that my experience of Introversion is that most Introverts I encounter do not spend much time in deep thought and reflection, and don’t seem to need quite the same level of recharge time as I do. I would also agree that temperamentally I have more in common with other HSPs, whether they are Introvert or Extrovert, than I do per se with other Introverts and this is illustrated very clearly for me when I consider that I have much more in common temperament-wise with my HSE friend than her non-HS Introvert husband. We spend hours together delving into thoughts and imaginings and thriving on going deep, musing and reflecting, whilst he looks on bemused. And we both need a lie down to regenerate from the busy-ness of life, in a way that he just doesn’t. I really look forward to the clarity that the ever growing research base and our lived experience in the knowledge of the new findings will bring.
yes! totally relate
Greetings Nicole,
” … I totally concur that my experience of Introversion is that most Introverts I encounter do not spend much time in deep thought and reflection, and don’t seem to need quite the same level of recharge time as I do…” Glad to know another professionals sees the same thing among introverts “out there.” THe only time I have seen my non-HSP introvert spouse overstimulated and in need of “recharging” was after his knee replacement surgery and he had overdone it during physical therapy exercises. He almost tearful response was : “I’ve just `had` it …” I broke into a huge smile, not because I was happy he was upset, but because finally he KNEW exactly what over-stimulation felt like. 🙂 🙂
And yes … this also sound totally familiar : “…We spend hours together delving into thoughts and imaginings and thriving on going deep, musing and reflecting, whilst he looks on bemused…” My experience exactly.
Thanks for sharing.
Thank you, thank you. This makes so much sense to me and yet I’ve not come across it before – this explanation of extroversion/introversion. And I never quite saw myself in whatever Myers Briggs came up for me, particularly in the I/E split.
Yes, Germana, the Myers Briggs can be confusing especially when taking the free online assessment, and especially when coming up with different types each time… This is why, of course, I strongly suggest taking the statistially valid and reliable MBTI and having an interpretation from a someone who is certified to utilize the Myers Briggs. Glad the article was clarifying for you.
Wow, I now know that I am an HSE and not an introvert! Thank you for writing this.
Yep. Good to know, for Oh so many reasons, isn’t it ? 🙂
As an HSE, I really appreciate this article. I have lost track of the number of times I have had to “un-conflate” the terms HSP and introvert, particularly in HSP MeetUp groups. Not all of us are introverts.
HI April,
It’s good to know there are others “out there” who are working to provide accurate information about our HSP trait, whether related to introversion, extroversion or just things in general. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you so much for sharing this information. I feel a little more understood after reading it. I think I can understand myself a little better. I have, for a long time, felt like I floated in a no-persons land, unlike anyone else I’ve met. Although my husband flatters me, saying I’m one of a kind, it’s not as comforting as knowing I’m not alone in my needs or actions.
Thank you Jacquelyn and Elaine for all the knowledge and support!
Hi Elaine,
What a nice compliment from your husband .. 🙂 That feeling of floating in a no-persons land is definitely disconcerting … I’m happy to know my article offered a greater sense of understanding, and validated your unique needs and actions as a sensitive extrovert.
I’d love to see a paper about how HSPs are not necessarily Empaths. I get that many HSPs display Empathy, but that is not the same as actually being an Empath.
HI Kathy,
Yes, I agree, the topic you suggest would make an excellent needed impact on understanding the many confusions and overlaps between the HSP and the empath. There have been a few attempts at such articles, but I’ve not found many of them to be that helpful.
Years ago, I came across your book HSP in Love, and it hit me like a ton of bricks – all I knew was that I was too sensitive, and it was causing havoc in my life, and everyone that tried to be close to me. Counseling didn’t help – and sometimes did much damage. It was a very difficult life until I read that book – then, everything started making sense. I am so grateful for your research! It has validated my life and explained who I am, when no one else could, including myself. Now, I’m facing another milestone in my life – turning 60, and so far I’m struggling with it. That’s what brought me to look at your website – looking to renew my sense of who I am, and why I’m struggling with so many changes. Thank you for bringing me comfort today – I was praying a lot this morning for direction, and my prayers were answered!
Donna, I too was praying this morning and “coincidentally” came across this post as well.
Hello Donna,
How lovely to hear that your prayers were answered. Elaine’s work has helped millions of HSPs to feel validated, known and “normal.” May your journey of HSP self discover continue … and may you continue to find comfort along the way. Jacquelyn
I’m an ISTP, but have low scores on the I/E portion. Actually, the only thing I had high scores on was the P trait. After reading this, I’m pretty sure I’m a HSE. I knew ISTPs were rare, but now I find that I am even rarer as a HSE. No wonder I’ve never found anyone quite like me. This article explains a lot though. I have never been able to keep a journal – I prefer to talk through my issues with friends. I also get energy from being with others, but am easily overstimulated and need a TON of down time.
Yes, I have found very few ISTPs or ESTPs who identify as HSPs, so you would indeed be one of the “rarer” HSEs… That you enjoy “talking through issues with friends” definitely resonates with being a sensitive extrovert. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you so much for this enlightening article. I will read it repeatedly. I am an HSE and an ENFJ. So many of your points helped me clarify and understand who I am and why I react so deeply to music, some writings, relationships and others’ pain.
The point about age struck home. I was much more energetically extroverted when younger. Now that I’m 65 I’ve become almost reclusive, most comfortable with family and a few very close friends.
However, as you so correctly noted, this drawing in can become a source of depression and anxiety for the HSE. I agree. It’s difficult to find that balance of going out, using my talents and giving to the world, but also finding the quiet that I seem to crave now. I’ve quite changed in the past few years. It’s startling and somewhat disconcerting. I can’t seem to rest in it.
Thank you for all your work on our behalf. This clarity will help many. I too became confused with all the different labels and while I understood HSE as a concept I appreciate the in-depth analysis. I confess to becoming tired of all the introvert/extrovert discussions on FB that clearly lump all extroverts together when it does such a disservice to us who are different. I now just scroll past without comment.
Much love and appreciation to you and Elaine for your years of dedication to this important work.
Bethany
Bethany, I so relate to what you’re saying, now that I’m older too. Much is shifting and it’s been very disconcerting, but this article helps me better make sense of it and I have new hope that I can find that rest you mention eludes you.
Hi Bethany,
So lovely to hear from you … As a “senior, HSE” I can definitely relate to the challenges of having less energy than my younger, more easily pleased, highly sensitive self. I remember enjoying my unique higher levels of unique energy and responses to my chosen environments, and in retrospect, I can now see how this enthusiasm was contagious, and in some cases, where I unknowingly allowed my joy to be drained by others input. I”m sure you will know what I mean here.
~~ “… It’s difficult to find that balance of going out, using my talents and giving to the world, but also finding the quiet that I seem to crave now….” This definitely resonates and is something I continually work on, though there are no easy answers… Thanks for sharing.
As a 70 year-old I totally relate to what you are saying. As a young adult I was a socially conscious extrovert, but as I have aged I find fewer activities to which I can relate, since so many situations can end up making me feel irritated and tired. I put it down to becoming a cranky old lady, yet I still love having conversations with strangers, and have inherited my mother’s knack for “making friends with a tree! LOL”
Thanks a ton Jacquelyn Strickland !
I am a doctor from Mumbai, India at 50 exactly and the entire article resonates with my life experiences.
There were several ‘aha’ moments while reading the piece, but the highlight was relation between being HSE and HSS ! The explanation is perfectly fitting and accurate.
I regularly read the HSP material, also have a google alert for it and keep a tab on smallest of the developments on the topic. But, this is one of the most important article I have read on the subject so far !
Thanks again.
Greetings Dr. Purohit,
Yay !! So thrilled to hear ” this is one of the most important articles you have read on the subject so far .”
Thanks for sharing that … It makes me smile.
Guess what? I am crying as I read this article. Finally, I have read something that fits me! I starting following this blog a while back with a vague sense that I may be a HSP, but it didn’t quite fit because of the introvert/extrovert thing. I had an especially stimulating day yesterday with many opportunities for deep and meaningful conversations. I got so overstimulated by the end of the day that I even experienced a sort of brain fog and couldn’t recall correctly what I had said. After reading this, I want to do more reading up on HSP and now I will work toward the balance I crave in my life.
Is there or could there be some sort of online community for HSEs? That would be super!
If you email me diane at healingcodescoaching.com I will tell you about a group I am forming.
I am also interested in the group
Hi! I’m an Occupational Therapy student who just discovered this site. Although I’ve tested consistently as INFJ, the difference between my Extrovert to Introvert score is very slender.
I performed a Sensory Profile on myself just yesterday and discovered I have a score of “Much More than Most People,” which I found makes me an HSP – but ESP makes even more sense! I’m delighted to have finally found where I “fit.” Please share more info on how I might join this group! Thank you very much.
Dear Holly,
Oh, I love to hear about the “happy kinds of tears” and am grateful to know my article was the source of this good kind of emotion. I think the idea of an HSE group is great … Sounds like Diane is forming one?
Perfect!
Taking a confusing condition, and extracting the elemental parts with great clarity.
Isn’t it amazing how beneficial it is, to understand oneself finally. The contradiction of feeling like I’m rowing in opposite directions now makes sense!
Thank you!
Yay … glad to hear that feeling of “rowing in opposite directions” has been alleviated, at least somewhat.
It is still a daily challenge to find that “optimal level of stimulation” — and it is rare I get it “just right.”
Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for this Jacquelyn- a very interesting article, and which I can very strongly relate to!
I appear to be a very close match for the Myers-Briggs type ENFP, and at social events I very often have to tread a fine line between revelling in social interaction and getting overwhelmed, meaning that I tend to alternate between being very sociable and fading into the background and daydreaming.
However, I often find it hard to share my extrovert tendencies with others. It’s not hard for me to find other extroverts, but the British social etiquette for men tends to be to keep it “at a surface level” with plenty of small talk to avoid emotional self-disclosure. In contrast, I can only stand “polite chit-chat” in small doses and have a strong desire to progress to something deeper. Even when I find people who are obliging, I always get the problem that progressing my friendships (both same and cross-sex) to a deeper level puts them at risk of being misinterpreted by outsiders as sexual/romantic in nature. Despite many people’s claims that things are changing, in my experience society still mostly places “beyond the surface” firmly in the “acceptable only with your romantic partner” category for men.
Regarding introversion, I think another source of confusion is that while there are a lot of genuine introverts, I think there are also people who are fundamentally quite extroverted, but who come across as introverted because they lack self-confidence and/or they don’t “fit in” with the norms of the peer group or prevailing culture.
Ian
Ian, I wonder if HSPs also “take in” (unconsciously) more of the social norms in a deeper way than others. Elaine and Jaqueline, is there any research on this, or anything from your experience that validates it? I find that I seem to have absorbed a lot of the cultural mores I grew up with (Catholic good girl) even though I consciously rejected them at an early age. I still seem to feel conflicted about going against some sort of image of being “selfless” that I somehow absorbed, I know not from where.
Yes, I find that I am often hypersensitised to social norms and expectations and often have an overblown fear of being negatively judged for not conforming. They tend to trigger a lot of inner conflict and turmoil and I have “taken in” some of them to such an extent that this turmoil can include self-talk of “I am fundamentally deficient as a human being”.
Yes, Diane, I too am a “recovering good girl” — someone who was raised in the South, where sexism was rampant and normal. Nice, kind, sweet, pretty, helpful, gregarious, were all messages I internalized and tried to live up to … until about the age of 23 when I finally broke “free.” I like to think I am still kind and helpful … but on my own terms, not because it is expected of me.
Dear Ian,
I appreciate your observations and experiences as a male, ENFP, HSP … quite the challenge, and I think your insights about the reasons why are spot on. I agree with you and Diane that we HSPs are highly susceptible to absorbing cultural norms and expectations. Of course, I think everyone is susceptible to this at some point in their lives. The trick for we HSPs is to recognize this — the sooner the better -and to find ways to challenge the culture by being, for lack of a better word, non-conformists. Yes, it can be a painful journey to becoming happy, contented HSPs who are willing and able to “focus on needs, not approval” (which by the way is one of the mottos at the HSP Gathering Retreats 😉 Yet, to not identify our own unique HSP needs and act on them, can indeed create inner turmoi and possibly illness from chronic over stimulation. Yes, we have to sometimes “suffer” with feeling negatively judged, however, I’ve found setting kind, yet firm boundaries, negative judgments don’t tend to stick, or bother me as much. Thanks for your insights..and good luck on being a non-conformist, when the need arises. 🙂
Used to suffer from a high degree of “imposter syndrome” although I knew that I was better prepared than most of my fellow trainers. Today I accept and relish in the treasure trove of knowledge I can rely on. Even Power Point, Presentation Skills, etc. that I thought pretty useless come in handy now. At the same time: I stay humble, I know that I know nothing, but can rely on gut feeling + some information….
This article was like the “missing link” for me, putting pieces together that were previously unable to fit. I feel especially validated by the part about finding the balance between over and under stimulation. That’s a big one for me, and I still haven’t found that balance at 48 years of age. But yes, this single article helped me to understand myself much more, since being a HSP didn’t quite fit altogether for me. Thank you so very much for this information.
Yay, Fran, so glad to hear you are feeling more validated ! Finding an optimal level of stimulation as sensitive extroverts is a very real challenge. Unfortunately, there doesn’t seem to be any particular formula … because for me, my tendency to feel overstimulated can come from so many different sources, and be dependent upon so many things that may, or may not, be going on in my life. Thanks for sharing.
Dear HSPs …
I have very much enjoyed reading your comments about this important topic. Since first reading them, and it has been my intention to respond to each of you…but alas … I ask: “where does the time go?” So, please know , I am grateful the article was clarifying for you …and please be patient for my replies. Thank you. Jacquelyn
As with many of the comments before . This has helped clarify a great many things for me. I too am an HSE .. Not only has this been confusing for me .. I am sure it has been confusing for people that I have known by association. I feel I have been searching for ‘my family’ all my life .. another way of saying I have never felt I ‘belonged’. I am now watching as my 27 yr old nephew is trying to come to terms with being an introvert HSP .. I have to be careful not to set us ‘challenges’ that are ok for my HSE tendencies but not for his HSI tendencies! .. I see and feel his pain of feeling ‘out of place’ wherever he goes.
I too am interested in a discussion/meeting/’challenge group’ group around this topic.
Thanks again
Lesley
Thanks Leslie for chiming in. As we know, it is especially challenging for men to come to terms with being a highly sensitive person – introvert or extrovert.. There is such a stigma about men being anything except the stereotype of strong, masculine, “successful,” dominant, in control. The “boy code” as Ted Zeff has pointed out is very real, expecting boys to play sports, be aggressive, plus the things I just mentioned. It is wise to be cautious and kind with your nephew.
I’m glad my article on the sensitive extrovert has brought some clarity to your life. I like the idea of a group for sensitive extroverts … not sure when, if or how I would manage this … but I’ll think about it. One way to experience this is to attend an HSP Gathering Retreat — the sensitive extrovert makes up about 30% of the total attendance — or about 6 or 8 of us … The next HSP Gahthering is Sept 30 – Oct 4 in Phoenicia, New York. http://www.lifeworkshelp.com/hspgathering.htm 🙂
Thank you, Jacqueline! I’ve been confused but my apparent extrovert nature but my tenancy (now and more as I get older) to have the need to withdraw and recharge my batteries. Highly sensitive on its own didn’t resonate completely, though. Now I know with all my heart that I am an HSE and will go back to your article again and again to strenthen my knowledge of myself. Thank you!
So happy to hear this Suzanne ! I know what you mean about “aging as a sensitive extrovert.” I need more and more down time to recharge, not because I need more solitude (I get enough of that) but more to recharge physically from over stimulation. Finding the optimal level of stimulation is always a challenge.
Hi,
I consider myself an ambivert HSP and did not immediately identify with some of the HSE descriptions, but also found this article. I was curious if any data was being connected for those who identify that way. It’s a very confusing place to be a lot of the time. And especially challenging to explain to others.
That being said I actually showed up on the website today while I was checking around on the web to see if there were any groups that were helping HSP’s and introverts engage civically in this particularly charge atmosphere we are in. I had been looking at groups that were registering voters and trying to figure out what I could do that wasn’t overly extroverted and then realized I would love to be reaching out to more quiet people and helping them engage productively.
If you have any suggestions of who might be involved in something interesting and non-polarizing I would love to hear it.
And I’m happy if you choose to edit out those last two paragraphs before posting and just send a note with comments on the civic-engagement inquiry.
Thank you for the work you do. Every piece of clarification helps.
Hi Kristi,
I hear you about find ways to engage in this “particularly charged atmosphere” we find ourselves in. So much polarization is dividing our country and as an HSP I find it heart breaking. Personally, for the reasons shared in my article, I only met a few “true” ambiverts and although they enjoy time alone, and time out in the world, I did not find they met the criteria of D.O.E.S. One friend, a true ambivert, is a deep thinker, needs time to recharge, yet she does display intense emotions or empathy, and she is definitely not sensitive to subtleties. 🙂
Me again. Sorry for the typos! Will make sure to proofread before posting next time.
Kristi
I am a highly sensitive ENFP. I am of the opinion that all Feeling types are sensitive or can be highly sensitive according to MBTI. This is based on the old four temperaments theory. The Sanguine is the HS Extravert, the Phlegmatic is the HS Introvert, The Choleric is Extraverted but low on sensitivity, and The Melancholic Introverted but also low on sensitivity. Of course there are lots of overlaps in temperaments and some confusion.
Introverted Feeling (ISFP, INFP, INFJ, ISFJ) are more likely to be Introverted Highly Sensitive People
Extraverted Feeling (ESFP, ENFP, ENFJ, ESFJ) more likely to be Extraverted Highly Sensitive People
Please let me know if you agree?
I have also questioned my extroversion/introversion a lot, but this article has helped to confirm that I am a Highly Sensitive Extrovert, because yes I am easily overstimulated, but I can only be alone for so long before I get restless and need to go out again to socialise with my friends.
Dear Rickus,
I think it is easy to confusing those who are “F’s” – Feeling on the Myers Briggs assessment with high sensitivity, My work with HSPs and Myers Briggs has shown the majority of HSPs to be INFP, followed by INFJ, then ENFP … and to a lesser extent the others types that you mention, However, there are HSPs who are INTJ, INTP, and to a lesser extent ISTJ. So I hesitate to classify anyone as an HSP based on their Myers Briggs type unless I have personally consulted with them about their Myers Briggs type. I do this via my online class: Myers Briggs with an HSP Overlay — the next class is coming up August 11 and August 19. I offer this class about 4 times per year. http://www.lifeworkshelp.com/HSP-Newsletter/myers-briggs-with-an-hsp-overlay-summer-class-2018/
Thanks for chiming in.
P.S. I”m an ENFP too — with a VERY well developed introvert side which helps me recover from overstimulation , among other things. 🙂
Oh my god, you’ve just changed my world. I spent my entire life thinking there was something “wrong” with me and that I was broken in some way because of how much more tired or drained activities made me than others (I always needed more time to recharge afterwards), how easily overstimulated I would get (even when doing something I liked), how MUCH everything impacts me more than others, and how I over-analyzed everything. But most of all, how hard it has always been to find the right balance between extroverted time and the need for introverted time, and too much of either leaving me overstimulated or depressed and over-analytical.
I had heard about HSP’s before and dismissed the idea because it seemed like they were all introverts, and I am CLEARLY an extrovert. But this was the missing puzzle piece that makes it all fit together for me. Thank you so much for writing this article!!!
Dear Becky,
I’m honored to have been able to provide the “missing puzzle piece” for you … I totally agree with your
experience as a sensitive extrovert … Finding that “optimal level of stimulation” is so challenging ~~ yet so important and rewarding when experiencing it !!
I wish you the best on your HSP (sensitive extrovert) journey .
Thank you very much for this article. I read the book Quiet by Susan Cain in Dutch, which I did find very elucidating. The chapter on highly sensitive persons got me into tears: there I was, (almost) perfectly described (as was my grandmother, my father, my brother HSIntrovert), one of my sons (HSE)). The confusing part was, indeed, that I am rather extrovert. I love talking to strangers on the bus, I love sharing my thoughts and I am not afraid at all to speak to an audience about what I have thoroughly studied and feel the world should know. At the same time I do get overwhelmed and have had to leave a beautiful job because of having to work under non-HSE managers. This article, thus, describes me perfectly – I can leave the ‘almost’ out. Again, thank you.
Dear Hadewych,
I felt exactly the same way when reading Susan Cain’s excellent book Quiet: “…there I was, (almost) perfectly described…” This (your) article, thus, describes me perfectly – I can leave the ‘almost’ out.
Yes, it took me a while to differentiate between the introvert described in Cain’s book (IMO — the sensitive introvert) mainly because my spouse is a major introvert and he was no where to be found in her book, yet I found myself throughout the pages.
Anyway….so happy that you have found clarity … it was important for me to have my feelings, experience and thoughts validated and interviewing the 37 sensitive extroverts, plus observing sensitive extroverts at the HSP Gathering Retreats helped tremendously,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts here.
Well, thank you, I now understand why the meyer-briggs personality things peeved me, well, firstly, I still feel the catergories are awefully boxy, and I don’t remotely fit into any of the. Most of the personality catergories I had many of the traits of, and I am not at all introverted. I always have a very hard time being around people for long periods, unless I have something that energizes me, in my case, singing, dancing, hiking, being around music, playing music, etc.
I do feel like this post mostly summarizes me as a person, and obviously many others like me, which is cool, at the same time, I get very annoyed because I don’t really fit in any box. I know that sounds weird, but it gets frustrating I am so sensitive, but that other aspects of my personality that mesh with that, on top of suffering servere trauma through my life, I suppose I’ll always be somewhat different than even most HSP’s.
Maybe I’ve missed it, but I have not found a post on here about trauma and HSP’s, I have experienced virtually all kinds of trauma, and there are pros an cons to it, and I mean this. I tend to be a lot thicker skinned than most HSP’s I know, but I am also even more sensitive to certain things, particularly touch it often feels like my skin is on fire, certain sounds such as the sound of how certain consonants hit in a words, and texture of foods and clothing to an almost extreme measure.
I’ve healed from a lot of my trauma, but I still have a hard time. and I know it’s because of being HSP. I thought the HSP thing was pretty bogus, but now it makes a lot more sense, I just hope more research can help bring it to public consciousness.
Dear Amy,
I understand what you mean by being “boxed in” by a label … The Myers Briggs is so much more than just a description of one types — as found on all the online free sites. With a professional consultation, one learns about “full type spiritual development” as defined by Carl Jung and can then better understand why a certain type would fit better than another. Here’s an article on “why I love labels and why we need to transcend them” http://www.lifeworkshelp.com/HSP-Newsletter/why-i-love-labels-and-how-they-can-help-us-live-more-authentically/
But you are certainly entitled to your opinions about the Myers Briggs. 🙂 I’m glad my article resonated with you. I think trauma can affect us in so many unknown ways, and being highly sensitive makes it all the more complicated.. It sounds like you have done some good healing work , but I do understand that being HSP can be challenging even on our good days.
You might try doing a search on Google Scholar for articles on trauma, sensitivity, etc. to see what comes up. https://scholar.google.com/
Wishing you the best on your continued healing journey …
When I found information about being highly sensitive extrovert I was crying during my whole read.
It felt like I could see my personal mirror image for the first time, i could not see myself before.
All my life I have just been “wrong” “not like others” “too intense” when speaking about something I am passionate about. “Weird” “introvert”
It is a relief to start discovering myself from a observative perspective and not through self blaming for who I am.
This will be a long “trip” and I feel sad that I only now at age 28 found out that there actually is a explanation for my personality treat having felt “off” my whole life.
Thanks for the vast information and good explanations, I can now understand my strong urge to work with people in need or with youths.
/ Jennifer
Dear Jennifer,
What a touching testimony … thank you for sharing your reaction to my article. Certainly “finding ourselves” after feeling out of place most of our lives is a huge step toward empowerment and creating environments which enhance our happiness.
We sensitive extroverts are very passionate about our convictions and causes of importance to us. I can understand your desire to work with others and youth — and how — in the right environment — the sensitive extrovert can be a great advocate and healer for others.
Best wishes on your journey …
Thank you for helping me understand who I am!! I knowed that I’m a hsp but I have always struggled with the introvert part.. but now it’s all clear! Love from Sweden
Lovely to hear from another HSP in Sweden ! The 2013 26th HSP Gathering Retreat in Enkoping, Sweden had a large number of sensitive extroverts in attendance ~~ and I have to say to this day, the energy co-created there was one of the best experiences of all the HSP Gathering Retreats — and I have loved them all. Sorry you missed knowing about that !
Thanks for chiming in.
In this post, you described how the Myers Briggs types are distributed in HSP people. I am an ISFP and HSP. You didn’t list a percentage of HSP’s who are ISFP. Is this combo that unusual? Maybe this explains why I have always felt it was so very, very rare to meet anyone with whom I felt a “spiritual” kindredness.
Hi Terrence,
Yes, in my years of working with the Myers Briggs and HSPs, I have found the HSP – ISFP to be lower in numbers — than, let’s say, the INFP, INFJ. I think that is because of the “S” – Sensing …. I’ve found most HSPs to be of the NF temperament.
I hope you have read up on being an ISFP … I think that is a challenging type , especially for a man , and there is much to learn about how to honor the strengths of this type
Thanks for sharing.
Dear Jacquelyn,
thank you for the article. It sheds so much light on the new frame works developments and will no doubt ‘change climate’ in HSP movement loads.
Thank you for this article. I was always wondering whether I am actually an HSP. The description never felt quite right. Now I understand that I am an HSE. Your words in this article are exactly the words I describe myself with – in German.
When I was younger, I was the heart and motor of every party, outgoing, contagious, until I became overstimulated. I usually went to a neighbouring room to sleep for one hour and then came back for another round.
But I’ve never felt like a typical extrovert, too. I love being alone, doing nothing. And when I face a bunch of „real“ extroverts (Non-HSPs), they tend to challenge me and I back down. I don’t enjoy fighting for supremacy.
Thank you again. You’ve made my day!
Cain’s paragraph you referenced on p. 270, which you referenced as how SHE defined introverts and extroverts, is represented herein as her definition; but she lists them as a reference to a constellation of attributes. The paragraph starts with this: “This book is about introversion as seen from a CULTURAL (in italics) point of view.”
The subsequent paragraph is her clarification that those are broad categories and that few people fit into one or the other.
The reason I mentioned this is because your reference to her “definition” seems disingenuous, although I agree with your assessment that the general discussion throughout the book frames introversion and extroversion in the culturally accepted way.
Hi!
I didn’t read through all the comments, so I hope I’m not repeating anyone. I’m a HSP and an ENTP. I’ve mistyped as an INTP many times. Thanks for the insightful article! I found it personally accurate and reassuring. I’ve never felt that there was “something wrong with me” but I’ve always been vaguely confused about my personality. I’ve wandered about in an overstimulated fog for a long time. This helped to clear some of that up! : )
This article is So absurdly clarifying I cannot believe it , Thank You !
Now I see why I have been seeking some kind of definition so intensely for so long, why a ‘clunk click’ has been so extremely elusive, and why ultimately I have become wary and dissatisfied with most of the systems and models that attempt to define us in any way at all. Very very interesting . I have been offering Speaker Coaching to ‘Introverts’ , now realizing what I am really offering is Speaker Coaching for Highly Sensitive People. I am definitely an Extroverted Highly Sensitive Person, and suddenly a thousand things have made sense, in an instant. DING !
WOW. I’m not weird!!! It’s not a screw loose somewhere.
This is probably the single most important and helpful article I’ve ever read on this topic. Thank you so much for writing it – it definitely clarified the confusion that lingers within the HSP title. Just like everything else dealing with humanity and the mind – we’re super complex! There’s no nice, neat box to shove people into.
HSE fits my personality exactly. I’ve always thought there was just something wrong with me. Even amongst self-termed “emaths” and “HSP’s”, I always stood apart. And describing those differences? I’d get the puzzled look with a “Hmm, I don’t really know what to make of you.” This makes perfect sense. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!
I have read, and reread, this article several times now. My sister recently introduced me to the concept of HSP and I didn’t think it could apply to me at first, but I knew that it really applied to some of my sisters (they are introverts). Then when I came across this article I was shocked, floored really that this described my own personal tendencies so well. I’m still trying to process this, but now it makes so much sense why my sisters and I are so close and similar to one another. We just always thought that we were a little ‘weird’. lol I am looking forward to your upcoming book. Thank you again for this article. I’m hoping it will help me understand and love myself better. 💗
This article is amazing! All my life I have felt that I ‘ don’t fit in’. I like meeting people and have discovered that I am miserable if I don’t have social outlets, yet I have noticed that I am social but then tend to ‘ cut off’ with excuses about being busy, work etc.
Now it makes sense! It also makes sense of why my outgoing, bubbly side tends to’ flip off’
I also relate strongly to being very ( overly) aware of social norms . I love teaching but hate being in the spotlight, and I have a bad habit of ruminating over situations.
Sometimes my nature can be a gift, so when I worked on a mental health team, I seemed to be able to ‘ get’ family dynamics very quickly, but I can also definitely relate to being hugely affected by social ‘atmosphere ‘ , to the point of being quite distressed at times.
I think I am pretty resilient and positive, but I often act as if I am shy or introverted, yet what I have read about introversion never seems to fit me..and I’m not acting like a classic extrovert either .When I have done the Myers- Briggs test on several occasions I always come out as ENFP.
Seems like such a small thing,understanding how you work, but it is a revelation!
THANK YOU!
Hi , Elaine, I am so glad I found this thread! I have always been described as an uber-extrovert, though I was shy as a child. I love public speaking, I am a writer, by avocation and profession, and I have always known that I need to get “out” to avoid depression and lassitude. I am an ENTJ, according to every Myers-Briggs course I have ever taken.
Yet … I hate rudeness, lack of consideration for others, loud noises, and repetitive speech patterns or noises. I get easily irritated by loud talk in restaurants for example, and have stopped eating out because of this. I am also highly empathetic, read body language very well, cry at Hallmark commercials, or even news casts, and though I can be quite outspoken I have often put up with situations that I should not have, due to an aversion to conflict.
As I age (I am now 70) I find life increasingly irritating, and boring at the same time. Your article has shown me that I am not alone, and that both of my children are HSPs, one more extroverted than the other. This will help me interact with them too! THANK YOU!
Thank you for this. It explains so much about me that has never made sense. I’m an ENFP (with ADHD to boot) and you really nailed it. The high attention to detail, ability to use extroversion for a good cause, leaving parties early (even parties I enjoy and looked forward to attending!), yes, yes, yes. Other people made me feel so weird for having lots of acquaintances with a fiercely guarded “inner circle” of close friends (maybe they wanted in the circle?), but that’s how friendship has always worked for me. I’m not just letting anyone in! You have to prove you can handle a discussion of Deep Thoughts and Feelings.
I read Quiet a few years ago and it left me confused because I related so much but I knew I wasn’t an introvert. As you put it above, I get lethargic and depressed without enough novel stimulation of my own choosing. The last three words (of my own choosing) is the big difference between feeling overstimulated by situations out of my control, such as a busy work day—which is what brought me here. I described to my therapist how a busy week at work is leaving me overstimulated and she said to look up HSP. I’m so glad I found this. Thank you.
I LOVE this article! Thank you so much for sharing it! I am an HSE and have always been extroverted and comfortable among the crowed but now that am turning 40 soon, I feel like being away from everyone. I like being quiet at home with people that I feel comfortable with and trust them. I love being an HSE but it’s not easy at all.
Wow – HSE = me!! I fell between the INFJ & ENFJ in the Myer-Briggs system, & now I know why! Thanks for this..very enlightening. I gained a bit more self awareness just from reading this (in the bath🤓).
Will be re-reading a few more times for sure.
All the best 🙋♀️
I definitely DOES and my best friend and the love of my life definitely DOES. All of the best people i know DO have some characteristics, but some of us are suffering a great deal more than others. Some of us are sitting in prison for a lack of communication skills and an unjust and inconsiderate legal system. Some of us are more valuable being used and raped by jerks who take advantage of our difficulty communicating, making judgement calls, or our actual astonishing abilities to actually make better ones than most and too smart to waste our time trying to explain our clearly well thought out predictions and sense of knowing way before most people. I have no idea how you can or if you will help but please, I need help for attaining clemency for someone who has been set up for a crime. Also my trust in him led me down his path the past year and i see exactly how why and who did this to a man they knew was the perfect target and yes, it is an attempt to cover up criminal activity which i will discuss again in person. I went to the authorities and reported what happened and what i think happened. I was not believed or the fact that i was accusing one of their paid informantscaused them to throw my children and possibly yours to the wind. I called two men who i knew would care. (Out? Haha really. People i do not care if i am out of the mob for real). Apologies. Yes i am hacked and do not care. Out i am not typing the word o u t b t w. ¿? But in person again i will explain. The police the clubs and yes some times family and friends are involved in horrible things that get covered up as part of agreements made with one another. I a car jacking can sometimes be an attempt to get that sd card back to the pig who stored images proving child pornography being sold. Antwon something yes was in the picture. But i could see his profile in the reflection of a mirror in which a young girl maybe you 3 was undressing, playing dress up, and and yes i saw his image which had been taken by a female and another man was in the picture and they have not done yhis once but many times. I called my friend to help because he thinks like me just way begter at not being robot girl. LMFAO but he was roused by the people who are guilty. They are a very organized well planned and well prepared army of thugs and frauds. I may not have time to tell my story but i do not know who to turn to. You i need a liason not a lawyer. I i need a translator due to my inability not to turn the fruck up. I seriously was helped by your artixle even though it was hacked bullshit added to shit i cant seem beat into the hackers heads. Lol so i need to know if you can help or not. I and btw i am an asset. I lol.
Thank you for your article! I am a HSE through and through. It brings a lot of clarity and understanding.
Reading the guidance for leaving feedback, it seems no challenges are welcome here – all one big love-fest! It’s truly affirming for highly sensitive people (of which I am one). Yet for me there does seem to be a slight lack of understanding about Myers Briggs both in the theory and the comments. I haven’t seen type dynamics and type hierarchy taken into account: the discussion is mostly about introversion/extraversion. But whether Feeling is a preferred function will influence consideraby the degree of sensitivity; and whether Feeling is introverted or extraverted how it is manifest. Your HSE is, for me, an E/F; all the traits you describe are present in Type theory. I also wanted to mention your reply to one of the comments along the lines of ‘if you like to discuss problems with friends, yes, it sounds like you’re an extravert’ – that’s not the case. Many of the 8 Introvert types thrive on conversation with carefully selected people. However, I do agree that Susan Cain’s work, whilst it has achieved amazing things for Introverts, describes sensitivity that certainly isn’t exclusively Introvert!
Very helpful! Thank you very much. As the other HSE commented above, the work of wonderful scientists as you and Elaine Aron has simply changed my life. Many times recently, when I have achieved all I wanted to, and am happy, yet I somehow immediately enter emotional turmoil so easily. You gave me the right words: my current challenge, of all my life as a HSE, is to find the correct balance between going out, achieving and healing in, digesting. Easier said than done, yet identifying it as it is helps lots. 🙂
I’m just on my first foray into looking at HSP work – I admit to being put off because I thought from what I had read that introversion was part of it. The concept of HSE makes real sense to me.
I was once on a two day training in Myers Briggs and we were separated into two rooms, one for the introverts and one for the extroverts, for an exercise. I always score high on introversion and so was in that room. After what to me was one of the most excrutiatiing half hours of my life the facilitator came to my rescue. She actually had not seen my results and thought I’d made a mistake and ended up in the wrong room since she had me pegged as an extrovert. Cue changing rooms and a huge feeling of homecoming!
I think there is so much about how HSPs lead their lives that when answering the MB questions with respect to that they record as introverted or borderline. It takes a skilled facilitator – and very lost participant! – to recognise that.
I so fit the DOES criteria and look forward to learning more especially as I think this has limited my life tremendously. I need to find my tribe! Are there any meetup groups in the uk?
Finding this article feels like a big Yes! I have been fascinated by temperament studies for a long time. We have been using them in the worker cooperative business I am part of for almost 8 years to increase understanding and improve communication between workers. This article clarifies the source of my disgruntlement with the assumptions made about extroverts. At the training where I first learned about the MB tests I was both engaged and put off by what I saw as inaccurate stereotypes. Learning more about my own HSP traits has been the most empowering bit of validation I have ever come across. This article really names the issue in a very helpful way. A thousand thanks from this HSP extrovert.
This post is so very splendid. Thank you. I’d already come to self-identify as a highly-sensitive extravert, because it was the ONLY THING that FINALLY made sense of my array of contradictory personality traits. This post confirmed–exponentially– my identification as an HSE (and HSS). Again, thank you.
I was put off, though, by several statements indicating that HSE’s stereotypically share all traits in common. “We are contemplative, introspective, kind, gentle, empathetic, creative, visionary, intense, and perceptive.” There are many, many factors at play in the development of personality, not just the level of sensory processing. So while nearly all of your points are eerily accurate in reference to me, not all are. I would love to be thought of as a kind and empathetic person, but I’m not sure the people I work with would describe me that way. And man, do I love to be in the spotlight.
FWIW, I’m a Leo. Have you correlated HSE traits with other personality schema? I DETEST Myers-Briggs, although you have provided a possible explanation for that. On the other hand, I have found the Enneagram to be equally eerily accurate and enormously helpful, not only as relates to me, but in understanding the people around me. I encourage you to continue to develop your models in the direction of complexity and nuance.
And now, I have to decide whether I want share these self-revelations on social media. (-;
Dear DJLeslie,
Your comments are so interesting. Obviously the Leo part of you is what loves the spotlight and I find this fascinating.
I am a Scorpio HSE and do suffer from being rather blunt at times and don’t hesitate to speak up (politely, nicely) when I see something happening in my immediate surroundings in the course of the day. As if suddenly all the fear of being in the spotlight vanishes and I have the courage to speak up when everyone else is turning a blind eye or doesn’t even notice. Each of us obviously experiences our HSEness within the dictates of our sign and it would be a fascinating area of study and research. Thanks for you input.
Wow, so many of us! I just happened to come across an HSP article in my Lifetime Fitness magazine. The article resonated and motivated me to seek out your website. I just kept reading and reading … HSE all the way.
Having parents/siblings who unwittingly reject/ed my sensitive and analytical side has been rough through the years. They wish to keep it superficial while I always want/ed to go deep. Relationships are smooth sailing as long as I accommodate their interaction style.
My dear mother worked hard to accommodate my nature in my 20-30’s; after I told her that I did not feel she loved me. Who I am seems to be very tough on her and other similar to her!!
I found a niche in college and as an investigator/social worker with Child and Adult Protective Services. However, this type of work is consuming and leaves one with little energy for anything else.
I wonder, though is my tendency to be direct/blunt an HSE trait? I think to survive in my family, I had to develop a sort of hardness…
I really enjoyed reading this article and wanted to thank your for sharing! I am an HSE (hsp -hss) interestingly in the first part of my life I would say that I would not have identified as highly sensitive – I worked crazy hours in a very chaotic highly stressful environment, I frequently socialized, loved adventure and travel, and also loved to party. I was able to keep this up until I reached the age of 29 when I very abruptly hit a wall and could no longer keep up with this lifestyle. It was extremely confusing at the time I could not for the life of me understand why I was fine one day and the next was so exhausted. I ended up changing my entire lifestyle drastically and also had to work through mental health issues. A part of me wonders if being more extroverted and sensation seeking led to patterns of behaviour that eventually created imbalances in neurotransmitters and receptors – due to constantly being in an adrenaline producing state. Perhaps this eventually led to becoming more sensitive? Or perhaps like you said as an extroverted hsp in those earlier days I just had the energy to indulge the extroverted part more easily? This is something I have wondered about for years!!!
I am 75 years old and just stumbled onto this website. It explains me in a way I have not previously discovered. I am a retired Certified Public Accountant – one of the first women to pass the COA exam in my state. In my 40’s I returned to school for a PhD and became a college professor. I have always been aware of details and my surroundings in a way others weren’t. I have always been willing to try doing things to help my world run smoothly. I get pleasure from helping others organize their chaos – before it becomes damaging chaos (because I can anticipate longer term outcomes of current small details). And, then I become totally depleted, exhausted, and must retreat and seriously recharge – by myself!
When I was younger I had great stamina and could sustain myself for long periods of high performance and engagement. On the Myers Briggs I test at “0” – neither introvert or extrovert. As I aged I could no longer sustain the intensity of engagement and was frustrated that I could still “see” but had to back off from “doing” with intensity – due to the depth of the depletion I experienced.
I am now the full-time caregiver of my husband with stage 4 Parkinson’s disease. So much can go wrong and I can see it coming – and he has lost his ability to anticipate the outcomes of his actions. I have to spend long periods just sitting quietly so I can endure the interaction and secure the best care for him. The healthcare system is so fragmented and Medicare rules so rigid – but I have the capacity to find the way through them. He is very well cared for and has greatly benefited from my HSE characteristics.
This discussion has made great sense of who I have been and still am – even as my life responsibilities have changed. It is good to have an explanation that rings true for how the overwhelming depletion occurs and the fact that being with other people is not at all helpful when the depletion sets it.
The current demands of my life means that by late afternoon on many days, I am approaching depletion. To be so competent, to get great joy from having others benefit from my competence, and having to consciously ration how much I engage is a challenge – but our sensitivity is also a gift. Thank you for finally making sense of it all.
Great info. Lucky me I recently found your site by chance (stumbleupon).
I’ve saved it for later!
I wanted to ask someone who feels qualified to answer if the depth of processing is deeper in introverted HSPs than in extraverted ones. (INFP HSP here.) I saw introvert and extravert brain scans compared once which were said to show that the introvert brain (if HSP or not was not considered) demonstrates longer thought processes, indicated on the scan by a much greater lit up path which was a more complex and longer synaptic routes involving more brain tissue: said to mean that more connections were connected in an introverted mental process, which was also as a result much slower than an extravert’s. So here is my question: Would an extraverted HSP’s brain scan of thinking about something look like a non-HSP introvert’s, or would it be shorted and simpler even though all HSPs, introvert and extravert alike are said to have, I think, the same depth of processing? I ask because I have a therapist who is ENFJ HSP, and she has depth and intuition for sure, but a lot of the time she doesn’t stay with me long enough to get my whole thought or all of what I want to communicate; she seems to jump to a more surface place and arrive at a quick and not quite accurate conclusion, due to not really processing things fully. (I know that can be the J factor as well.) Help me understand please anyone? Thank you so much.
Oops. A typo and one other mistake to correct:
1) “and a longer synaptic routes* (should read “route” of course and
2) “Would an extraverted HSP’s brain scan of thinking about something look just like a *non-HSP introvert’s*….?” should read “like an HSP introvert’s….?”
Sorry for the confusion.
Well, I just saw another typo, midway in my post, now approved and appearing, of two days ago (I have clearly become an abysal typist):
“…or would it be shorted and simpler” obviously should read “…shorter…,” not shorted.
(How charming to mortify oneself so in public.)
Hi, as a HSE I would also like to thank you for this beautiful article. Finally someone who described HSE conception for what kt truly IS. HSE are often misunderstood and I sometimes feel like a double person 😀 because I have got such a desire and need to do challenging things and to engage more in social situations,yet on the other side my highly sensitive body often thinks differently:DDD .. but I slowly found out that when I make a compromise between these two and I listen to my body but also convince him that this is something important to me and I need you to help me then its just a perfect way of work ♥️ cause as u said..as HSE we live for Higher purpose and we’re willing to do anything it takes to find our way in this world.Thank you,May God bless you.;) I just Wish there would be more research on this Topic and that more people could learn about highly sensitivity. But Guess I have to wait a little.
Hello! Thank you for this article. I’m a bit confused though! 🙂 Years ago, I learned that I’m an INFJ-t. I took several tests online and all the descriptions resonate to me. Then I just recently realized that I’m also highly sensitive. It came as a big aha moment for me.
You describe here in great length what an HSE is like and then say that they differ from HS introverts just a little, e.g. they “do not like to share… personal lives or habits via social media.” I happen to not like sharing personal habits on social media. I also get anxious when I do not have enough meaningful conversations with close friends. Does than mean that I may be an extrovert?
If there is not much difference between an extroverted and introverted HSP, why did the first part of this article make me feel like there is and it was about to describe in detail what those are? Okay, maybe my last question just me talking top of my mind. But yeah, how do I know if I’m an extrovert or not?
I read portions of Quiet a long time ago and have read lots of MBTI materials so I’m wondering now how to go forward from here.
My husband in an infj type, and I find him many times needing more interaction with me than I ever do with him- and I am nodding towards extroversion. I enjoy the novel, so ideas and interaction with new people, but only JUST more than my husband.
My infj husband interacts more with people he knows. He much prefers to talk to people after much observation, I am happy to talk to someone I don’t know.
How have you found things for yourself since you left your comment?
I want to add my voice to the many ones thanking you. I found your article while googling: “sensitive and analytical” personality. Yours is the first article that seems to truly reflect my personality type. Very helpful. Thank you.
As a true person on the extroversion/introversion limit, I feel the urge to thank you, but not signing my real name. Oh well. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
After seeing the documentary “Sensitive” I was left with a bit of confusion until I read this article because the movie didn’t touch on the HSE’s. It mainly referenced the HSP’s, but didn’t go into depth about the extroverts vs. the introverts. And being a HSP myself..I need the depth. The clarity I gained from this article was amazing.
Living in a world where people categorize others with discriminatory eyes, I now understand why when I was younger I was always blamed for being too sensitive, or just wanted to pick a fight. As an adult I get accused of taking things too personally, faking anxiety attacks in big crowds for attention, but now it makes sense. It’s like when you know you’re sick and you go to the doctor. He knows your symptoms but can’t diagnosis the cause and ends up just putting you on antibiotics. I have ping ponged between labels of being a sensitive to an intuitive empath but the funniest was when my sister was asked by a single guy..”What’s your sister like?’ And she said..”She’s complicated, but I guarantee she’s worth it.”
Thank you for shedding light on this.
Like the others who commented I have been analyzing and re-analyzing my personality traits to see where I fit. I am definitely an extrovert, chatting with people everywhere I go, but I am also VERY sensitive and find myself worrying over strangers sadness or situations. I’m very misunderstood at work and have a boss who is constantly trying to reign in my extrovert personality and my emotions, it’s hurtful and makes me feel inadequate- but I am slowly figuring out her personality (definitely introverted and the opposite of sensitive?). I definitely notice that as I get older I am less inclined to attend busy social events in after being social all day so the differences you indicated in the younger and older HSE also resonate with me. So interesting and helpful! Thank you for sharing your research – this is exactly who I am.
I want to thank you for writing this piece on HSPs that are extroverted.
I have just been so confused as to where I fit into all of this. I had immersed myself into mbti and whilst it unearthed some things, yet it posed more questions. I felt just as introverted as the introverts around me, sometimes more so when I need to rest.
And relating to Susan cains book, Quiet, relating to it all but not acknowledged.
And finally, I know now that I am an extroverted HSP. I love talking to people and seeing and learning novel things, but I tire so quickly. (ENFP here too!).
SO once again thank you! 🙂