The trait of high sensitivity is in essence all about processing information more deeply. This noticing of details and their meaning is the basic survival trait inherited by a minority of individuals within many species, humans included. This trait allows sensitive individuals to notice opportunities and threats that others miss. Why always a minority? Why isn’t everyone highly sensitive? Because if everyone noticed everything, there would be no advantage to anyone being highly sensitive. But a few always develop this extra sensitivity.
I want to emphasize the essence of high sensitivity because it is so easily misunderstood as a weakness, a problem of being easily overwhelmed by the environment or by one’s own emotions. So now and then I have to speak up about what it actually is. Indeed, I have not written a blog on the research on high sensitivity since 2017, and I urge anyone interested to go back and read that one. But it is definitely time to return to the subject. There has been considerably more research done since then, of varying quality, but as in 2017, I want to highlight research on differential susceptibility, especially our susceptibility to interventions, as a perfect example of depth of processing.
Differential Susceptibility Is the Natural Result of Deep Processing
Differential susceptibility refers to the fact that sensitive individuals, again, process everything in their environment so deeply that they are inevitably more affected by both the good and the bad in their environment. They are not weak–they are susceptible. Open. If it were only the negative that affected highly sensitive people (HSPs), we would say they are vulnerable. But the proper word choice is “susceptible,” open to influence. In sharp contrast, those who are “resilient,” in the sense of not being affected by bad situations, are also less affected by good ones. They are less open to influence, to change.
Differential susceptibility is usually discussed in the context of children and the effects of different kinds of childhoods on adults—HSPs do better than others on various measures if they had a good childhood, but worse than others if they had a poor childhood. But we see differential susceptibility in a different light when it affects teaching people, whatever their childhoods, how to cope in various situations. In the 2017 blog I reported on a program in the U.K. for 11-year-old girls, designed to prevent them from becoming depressed after turning 12, which often happens. One year later, the results showed that the study had successfully prevented depression only in those girls scoring in the top one third on the HSP Scale. Clearly those girls had processed the information in the program more thoroughly. Since 2017, this result has been found in other cultures (Japan) for other interventions (e.g., dealing with bullying).
Another Big Step—Genetic Identification of Sensitivity
Research on the greater effect of interventions on HSPs continues, with better methods yielding even clearer results. Let’s look at this study (you can find the studies I mention by entering the title into Google Scholar): “Genetic sensitivity predicts long-term psychological benefits of a relationship education program for married couples,” by Pluess et al, in the 2022 Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology. In this case, rather than the HSP Scale, two genetics indicators were used to identify those who were highly sensitive. One was a set of nine genes thought from past research to predict the trait, and the other, which turned out to provide better results, was based on several thousand variants across the genome, derived from a recent, very clever “genome-wide” association study. More on that in a moment.
The paper reports two independent studies. In the first, 242 couples were randomly assigned either to receive a well-researched program for improving communication in married couples or to be in a control group. There was then an independent replication with another 183 couples. In both studies, after the intervention highly sensitive persons showed more improvement in their marital communication over time (some were followed for sixteen years) than those who were not highly sensitive. That the effects increased with time suggests that the HSPs continued to process and learn from the program for years after.
A Genome Wide Measure of Sensitivity
It is a step forward that this intervention study was able to identify sensitivity genetically rather than simply using self-report questionnaires. It makes the trait just that much more real. It is equally validating that a genome-wide approach could be used. While there are some genes thought to be associated with the trait, these results have not been very consistent. But if finding the trait using a genome-wide approach does not require testing for specific genes, how do you do it?
To answer that, in a previous study researchers focused on twin studies, because how much a trait is genetic is often determined by comparing identical twins to non-identical twins. For differences in personality traits, the contribution of genetics will always be somewhere around 50%, while the environment contributes the rest, but we really can see that genetics are involved when identical twins have even more of a trait than non-identical twins. Interestingly, even among identical twins, analyses show that identical twin pairs vary in how much they are affected by their genes versus their environment. These researchers reasoned that those identical twins more affected by their environments have genes that, by definition, make them more differentially susceptible! They are HSPs. Brilliant, yes? See Keers, R. et al., “A genome-wide test of the differential susceptibility hypothesis reveals a genetic predictor of differential response to psychological treatments for child anxiety disorders,” in the 2016 issue of Psychotherapy and Psychosomatics.
In that pioneering study, Keers and his colleagues used the same genome-wide pattern of genes associated with more susceptibility or sensitivity in identical twins to identify sensitive children in general, twins or not, and it worked. The emotional problems of children identified as sensitive using these genome-wide patterns were more affected by their parents’ parenting skills. And it was clearly differential susceptibility, in that HS children identified in this way had more problems than other children if their parents’ lacked skills and fewer problems than other children when their parents had good skills.
The same study also looked at the effects of therapy on those children in the study who had anxiety disorders and found that receiving more intense therapy (individual vs. group vs. something brief taught to parents to help their kids) helped HS children, but the intensity of treatment did not matter for other children with anxiety disorders.
Another study using this genome-wide measure found it explained variations in the effects of a family intervention on children’s anxiety and depression. (See Lemery-Chalfant, et al., “Genetic moderation of the effects of the Family Check-Up intervention on children’s internalizing symptoms,” in the 2018 issue of Development and Psychopathology.) And this method of identifying HSPs was also used to study the effect of stress on depression in adults. (See Davidson et al., “Genome-wide stress sensitivity moderates the stress-depression relationship in a nationally representative sample of adults,” in 2018 Scientific Reports.)
Seeing Depth of Processing in This Research
Let’s go back to where we started. Being highly sensitive is not a weakness. It is not just about being easily overwhelmed by the environment or by one’s own emotions. Yes, we are more affected by our environment, but we can learn to manage that. Yes, we have stronger emotional reactions. We must, because that makes us more attentive to new information. (And processing a situation more may of course also lead to stronger emotional responses.) But we can learn to manage our emotions. The great news here is that interventions work so well for HSPs. Just reading the right book or article or taking a helpful course can solve those disadvantages. Yes, a painful childhood may require us to spend some time in psychotherapy straightening all that out. But we will get more from therapy than others do. We can fix the problems.
The important point is that when we look past the problems, when we look “under the hood” at the subtle inner effect of our special genes, we find this deep processing of everything. This means HSPs have a deep receptivity to what is useful–and the ability to look closely and know when something really is useful. We can see beneath the hype. We notice the details. We will try it out. We learn. Because we are highly sensitive, meaning that we process everything deeply.
Interesting! Thank you to share.
I like the term Highly Perceptive Person. Apparently, my 5 senses don’t have the ‘normal’ filters of non-HSPs. Plus, I have the addition of being very intuitive, and very empathic. There is a constant overwhelm of stimulus, unless I am by myself, in my own home sanctuary. And then, I only have my thoughts to deal with. Oh geez!
Thank you Elaine and others, for sharing your journey.
I resonate with this deeply and wondered if others struggle with being an intuitive/empath on top of it all. How do you cope?!
Not well. Lol. I wish I had something better to give you here but I don’t. I struggle every single day.
I feel ya!
I’m trying to figure out how to cope..
Hello there,
I actually appreciate my intuition and empathetic nature toward things and people. I think this is a unique outlook of life. Intuition actually guides us to something new and unexpected at times. Empathy charges us in being compassionate in situations that seem to be impossible to resolve. I hope all the highly sensitive/perceptive people can find more comfort zone in the words of Dr. Elaine Aron. I feel happy to find her blog and community today. I hope whoever reads this, take a great care of yourself and be well. :)
I really like the term “Highly Perceptive Person” Thank you for that. I really relate to your response. I’ve been aware of the label for who I am, how I am for about 10 years. “Sensitive ” makes me feel weak, perceptive makes me feel useful.
Sherlock Holmes was perceptive. Though a fictional character, I believe he might have been highly sensitive. Perhaps his creator was likewise sensitive.
I’m a big fan of Sherlock Holmes. Perhaps his creator/author was sensitive!?
So glad you like him! What is your story? Are you interested in forming friendships with other HSPs? Write to me!
I agree 100% with what Ellie has written. For me, I will also add I notice everything and I do mean everything. Someone once said to me, Paul you notice when a blade of grass has grown, and she was correct. Secondly, my processing or over-processing of things has always been what I considered a problem. After finding HSP’s yesterday oddly enough through Amazon Kindle I have learned (overnight) that my “problem” is actually a trait. What a unique way to look at it. So enjoying everything I am learning. Thank you!
I agree. I prefer being referred to as an HSS….Highly Perceptive Person. This to me implies it is an asset, and I know I am blessed to have it. I love living alone and being alone in nature all the time. Nature is real. It grounds me and gives me a very deep inner peace. Being alone allows me to be me. And I love being me!
HSP to me sounds like a negative trait to have.
This was a couple years ago, but hopefully you may see this reply …
I totally understand what you’re saying about being alone with your thoughts. I am physically alone about 95% of my time now and it can be difficult. I’m not a big fan of the internet, either. I’m in my head. It can be difficult, for sure, but it’s better than being “out there” with the sensory onslaught of the world. We may not know one another, but you’re not alone.
“The trait of high sensitivity is in essence all about processing information more deeply.”
Quantum Physics has revealed to us that everything ‘physical’ that exists in our Universe boils down to a duel essence of both Energy and Information (including ourselves). And of course, these revelations include the reality that there is actually nothing physical at all — it’s all Energy that appears in our consciousness as shapes and resistant energy forces that give things a feeling of substance.
We who have been blessed with a Highly Sensing Nature were gifted a much deeper and impactful set of energy/senses from which all things we experience are greatly amplified in our experience beyond what the rest of the population feels and understands.
We process EVERYTHING more deeply because most everything we do is at a depth and level that extends more viscerally into our feelings and psyche. It’s like being a person who can see well into the light spectrum beyond the mundane limits of what most humans have.
Being highly sensing is like riding a wild horse. At first it can be painful and disconcerting. And it can be confusing. But then – as in the case of that wild horse that gets tamed and made into a precision riding animal – we of the HSP Nature ride that wave of hyper sensitivity like a great wave across the vast ocean of our entire life. It’s a fun ride… a ride rich in senses and experience. And we simply see our World differently and everything in richer colors and impactful sounds and with our minds thinking and imagining at similar deeper levels if we are so blessed to use it so.
We appreciate Life more. We feel greater pain but we also feel greater joy. We have higher highs and lower lows but within a solid framework of cognitive stability. We see things that others miss. We can pass over other things that we quickly sense as unimportant that others can mold into great mountains for themselves.
Yes, everything we know and understand about our Earthly lives is found in energy and information. And if one is familiar with the now many accounts of Near Death Experience you already know that a trait in the life to come is that souls begin to experience greater and more intense – Sensing! – once they arrive there.
So in short, we HSPs are simply ahead of the Game of Cosmic Life. We already have greater and more intense sensing just as already exists in the Existence to come after our Earthly days. We’ve been gifted with a peak under the tent… and we already know what is coming and how we will feel.
Enjoy — and give thanks for who we are.
I really like what you say above. After meditating 40+ minutes a day, I had mystical experiences in 2004 when thought I was close to death. Meditating and switching to an all-organic whole food diet helped me come out of 30 years of very severe depression and anxiety (during which I was fired or let go of 35 jobs).
I’m now a healthy 79, and my kidney function only diminishes a little every year.
I’m currently reading the best book I’ve found on Near Death Experiences: “God and the Afterlife” by Jeffrey Long, M.D.
I would love to suggest the book, “Heaven” by Randy Alcorn. It’s been such a gift to me.
Thank you, RBS. I “know you” from the SP site comment thread. I always enjoy your observations and perspectives at SP, and now learn that you are HSP. I “found out” about HSP in a chance encounter this past April 2024 with someone who recognized it in me and was generous to take the time to introduce me to this concept, two-months before my 70th birthday – it’s as if I am just meeting myself for the first time. I’m learning to walk – my eyes are opening to a new world. Be well amigo.
I absolutely love this perspective!
Wonderfully expressed and certainly can relate.
Excellent explanation!
I think the most difficult part of processing everything so deeply is getting caught in the weeds. I really struggle to make decisions after taking in sooo much information, especially when the stakes feel high like with parenting. And there are many, many decision points all day long. It feels exhausting and never-ending. I notice others might briefly consider a few options and then make a choice and move on without overthinking it.
Yup. Same. 🙏🏼💗
Me too. I always seem to need to weigh out all the possibilities, downsides, etc., and it sometimes seems impossible to decide. It gets frustrating.
There are definite upsides to being an HSP, though, so I’d rather be this way than not. :)
I 100% cosign what Kristin wrote.
And then there is the overthinking of did I make the right decision…and it all becomes too much.
I often remark that I wished life came with an instruction manual so I could just turn to a page!
I am only just beginning to research this trait I believe I have. My first question is if it skips a generation?
As all genetic stuff typically skips a generation (or more), it is easy to conclude same here. The genes might be the same, but how they are expressed can be all different. The epigenetics it is called, it’s like a switch that can determine if that gene is expressed or not. This is why some genetic changes can happen so fast in nature.
Hi Rachel! I, too, “struggle” with decision making for the same reasons. However, I am very aware of how (and why…thank you Elaine) I DO make decisions. For one, I’m very “organized” when it comes to “researching” EVERYTHING. And the Internet has actually made life a lot easier for me. Of course, you have to be very aware of where, and from who, your information is coming. I always make VERY considered decisions, before I, f.ex., purchase anything…. I just want to find exactly what will make me happy, and I hate making wrong purchases. So, I spend a lot of time thinking, pondering, imagining, researching an item, an event, etc., before I act. I always laugh when it seems like I’m doing something “impulsive”, because the work involved has been anything but impulsive. However, I actually LOVE doing the work now! I am a master at solving “problems” for myself and others, that is, after all the “work” is done. I’ve come to realize that this is my super power. And it makes it all worth it.
So give it a try. Be kind to yourself, use your alone time to think things through, organize in your mind, make lists, do the “research”, and give yourself the time you need to find the answers you need. By the way, I’m 73 now, and it’s taken me a long time to get here!!!!
I find “impulsivity” works two ways. After thinking through a matter, sometimes spending a lot of time researching it, finally making the decision and acting on it often feels impulsive, like jumping off a cliff, so to speak. Yet, when posed with a “let’s go do this” right now, or when I pose it, impulsivity feels liberating: nodeep thinking required.
Oh yes. I am overwhelmed by information often and find my “perceptions” and reactivity exhausting. I don’t want to know so much. How do we manage to navigate a social world in which most people don’t have to cope with sensitivity overload? What sort of concessions do you have to make? How do you manage with friends and family who don’t perceive as you do?
I confess it does make me feel freakish at times.
I’ve been told enumerable times that “you think too much”…..I ask myself ‘exactly where are these “too much” rules written, and by whom? And tongue-in-cheek, I reply “have you considered that you perhaps think too little?”
I’ve made decisions that didn’t turn out well; but for the most part, my thinking “too much” has benefited me. As the years go by, my decisions have gotten even better because I have learned that my deep thinking is just right……for me. Yes, it wears me out sometimes, but I try not to push myself too hard. I always get to a decision and write down my thinking so I can clearly recall my thought process…going back and reading these notes makes me proud I am HSP :)
Best to all, Dee
I have had “you’re overthinking it” thrown at me more times than I can possibly remember. In truth, I think through/process things exactly as much as I need to. I “think it over,” I don’t “overthink.”
I love your phrase “I think it over”. Am 64 now and have also been told, it seems never-endingly, that I over think and over analyze. And I too have wanted to ask “well maybe you’re not thinking enough?”
Being an HSP is mostly an awesome gift, but is sometimes a huge pain in the ass!
I agree with this sentiment in general, as I find most people to be simple or shallow. But where we run afoul of overthinking is that it can cause us to become immobilized, or emotionally distressed.
See https://hsperson.com/?s=decisions and the Highly Sensitive Parent for help with this.
Boy can I relate to this.
This article almost brought me to tears. I was not aware that HSP has a biological basis. All my life I’ve believed there’s just something wrong with me because I can’t tolerate the regular cultural experiences. Loud music, bright flashing lights, Quentin Tarantino films, etc all leave me trying to escape without making a scene, but feeling like a giant loser. The best years of my life have been since I retired, and I don’t have to wear irritating clothes, or interact much with the world. The pandemic actually felt like a blessing in many ways, once the anxiety dissipated. My daughter has said she thinks I am on the ASD spectrum but that didn’t feel right to me.
Thank you for pointing out some of the very positive features of HSP. It feels very healing for someone who has always felt like a misfit freak.
Thanks for sharing your experience Meredith. You put into words so clearly what I also experience. At some level I have always felt that what I really am is actually illegal in the world. Reading about HSP – and then also about it being biologically proven – feels so validating. So all the inner work struggles have a supportive basis in some way, to blossom.
You also mentioned ASD. I am not ASD either, however I was recently diagnosed with ADHD – which now that it is better understood, has become more common for older adults….to find that that’s what they have!!
It seems that ADHD does relate to HSP’s. According to Gabor Mate’s book about ADHD, ‘Scattered Minds’ he says ADHD starts in early life and happens in the highly sensitive person’s increased susceptibility to the parents’ anxiety/conflict during infancy. For myself I have found this piece of the puzzle hugely enlightening also.
Wishing you well on your journey.
I also had this response to the epidemic. The rural road below my house became very quiet. It was peaceful on the island; I don’t think I’ve confessed this to anyone. The masking was a bit of a nuisance, but otherwise it was not a particularly troublesome time. Like suddenly being surrounded by introverts.
Me too! I loved being able to stay home and not be expected to go out into the world, It was so freeing for me. I’m actually a very social person, however, I also cherish my time alone and it was amazing to me that everyone had to be home so there was no judgement or pressure to leave. I thought I was the only one!
I want to delve into my own story but really. Same. Same here Meredith. I have been trying to figure out what was different, is it ADHD? ASD? No. Its just too much! So glad to know we aren’t alone.
Thank you for sharing, Elaine. Reading this blog post feels validating, liberating, and inspires hope.
I would be grateful if someone would explain what ‘processing’ means. It’s not thinking deeply, is it, or turning an idea over and over long after learning it?
I see proccessing like this: Processing is both thinking and managing the emotions rolling in the body, i.e. the energies effect can give some disharmony, like big waves in the ocean, and after a while the harmony and ease can return.
Hi Nancy
Wow thats a big question!
I’m having a go at answering it.
Any information that comes to us needs to be processed, including all the inner conflicts and emotions that are ignited by that information. Eg a tone of voice from someone speaking to us is information … if we are sensitive enough to pick up that tone we will need to interpret it in some way, and it may bump up against our self esteem or sense of self …….. we will need to churn it around in our system and come to terms with it in some way or another.
For myself being an HSP at – I would say – the far end of the spectrum, and living in a state of overwhelm/PTSD, I have found certain therapeutic modalities very helpful for dealing with overwhelm/being so freaked out I couldn’t find my self. The one that comes to mind is Inner Relationship Focusing. It helped me develop more self presence and self compassion ….and helped me process much better.
Hope that’s helpful in some way.
Geraldine, your words resonated so much with me. Yesterday I had a phone conversation with a former colleague and from her tone of voice I felt she didn’t want to speak with me. I was hurt and churned the feeling around for the rest of the day. “Inner conflicts and emotions that are ignited by that information” You hit the nail on the head, this is exactly what goes on for me.
I think of it like Elaine’s original explanation in her book on children and sensitivity: picking up on subtleties more than others and being more self reflective. Between those two, there’s a lot of mulling over, or processing, going on than others without the trait do.
Great to see more scientific insights into HSP. Would be great to see a blog article that captures it viscerally through cultural characters. I recognised HSP in the character Harper in the 2nd season of White Lotus as well as Laura Dern’s character in the series, Enlightened.
I was a very sensitive and empathetic child, who later suffered very bad PMS, in fact was diagnosed with PMDD and had to be treated at hospital to stop the ovaries working, as physically and mentally ill each month. I am now happily post menapausal and feel better than any time since puberty. I have read that scientists have now found actual differences in brain scans between women suffering from PMDD and other women. I am just wondering if there is any connection to this condition and being highly sensitive in females? I should say, I put the sensitivity to good use, eventually going to art college as a mature student, then teaching on a degree course as well as designing freelance and for companies. I am now free to work on my own art in retirement.
I’m an HSP who also suffers from PMDD, as well as diseases of the autoimmune system & autonomic nervous system (Crohn’s Disease, ME, Dysautonomia/POTS, and possible MCAS, to name the major ones). In my experience, it’s pretty common to find HSPs who have chronic health issues, and some specific health problems are mentioned with regularity – including PMDD, MCAS, ME, POTS & Fibromyalgia. I don’t have any hard numbers or proof for you, just my many years of experience lurking on just about every HSP site/blog/channel/group I come across. lol
BTW, if anyone has any actual data they could share on this topic, it would be greatly appreciated! 😂
Odio essere altamente sensibile, soffro di fibromialgia, cefalea e mille altri disturbi che non avrei se non fossi sempre attenta a ciò che mi succede attorno. Non riesco ad accettarlo, vorrei non ricordarmi di tutto, non cercare sempre di comprendere tutti . Vorrei lasciarmi andare al non pensare
Paola, ti cosiglio di parlarne con uno/a psicoterapeuta/o che si occupa di Alta Sensibilità, ti aiuterà a scoprire che i poblemi (come fanno anche i non Altamente Sensibili :)) si superano e poi ti trovi con una grande ricchezza che è essere Altamente Sensibili, un grande dono per noi stessi e per la società …
I answered in Italian but I translate in English.
Paola, in my opinion it’s good to talk to a psychotherapist who deals with HSP, you’ll find that the poblems (as even non-HSP do :)) are overcoming and then you find yourself with a great gift that is being a HSP, a great gift for ourselves and for society
I was wondering for a moment if this article was going to be about HSPs and nail-biting. I’m hypersensitive to the feeling of my nails rubbing against other surfaces. Now, at age 49, the top and sides of the nail bed have become ingrown due to my issues earlier in life. I thought this post was “going to Nail it!” :)
Elaine, thank you for all your research and books. I just finished reading a second book by you – “The HSP in Love.” I had a chance to chat briefly with Art when I took classes in my mid-20s at Stony Brook, and I might have even passed you a couple times in the hallway. My best friend from Hamilton College – Pete Luke – later was a research assistant for Art and is now the director of compensation for a booming county in the Denver metro area. He really benefitted from Art’s guidance as a researcher.
Sincerely,
MC
Creia que era un bicho raro, me sentia muy diferente a los niños de mi escuela, toda mi infancia y adolescencia transité mis emociones de una manera desbordada, amaba ser la chica divertida y espontánea que podia establecer conversaciones interesantes, actuar, bailar, reir a carcajadas: pero luego necesitaba largos periodos de descanso , días sin salir queriendo estar sola y en silencio. La ansiedad y la depresion fueron mis acompañantes por casi la mitad de mi vida. Ingresé a estudiar Psicologia ,porque me encanta conocer en profundidad a la humanidad,era un llamado desde el fondo de mi ser. Estube aproximadamente 5 años continuos en procesos terapueticos y luego otros 3 ,este proceso me abrió todo un universo de posibilidades , sin embargo la ansiedad , los tiempos prolongados de descanso, la irritabilidad en ciertos escenarios no le encontraba explicacion, hasta que gracias a que encontre informacion de las PAS, mi mundo cambió completamente, pude reconciliarme con mi ansiedad y conectar con todoa aquello que sentia , reconocí mis moemntos de saturación, aprendi a respetar mis tiempos y sobre todo amar mi campo energético. Ahora soy tambien terapeuta holistica, maestra Reiki y lo que mas amo SANADORA.
Gracias a personas como todos aquellos que crean blogs, comunidad, me siento llamada a llevar toda esta informacion en mi entorno, mi cuidad y mi pais. GRACIAS, GRACIAS,GRACIAS.
I was wondering what books you would recommend for teens to understand if they are a HSP?
I recently read The Highly Sensitive Child by Elaine Aron and she has broken down the second part of her book in age groups. You might find it useful to read about the teenager years in that section.
Understanding The Highly Sensitive Child – Seeing an Overwhelming World Through Their Eyes by James Williams. I appreciate this 37 page gem of a book. It’s written from the perspective of an HSP Dad who has 1 HSP child and 1 non-HSP child. Contrasts of experience are presented in simple, everyday, circumstances.
This is a wonderful education tool to help others understand what it’s like to live inside our skin!
THANKYOU! How affirming to read this is
Elaine,
Well, i didn’t know being a highly sensitive person was “a thing.” I have been called this since I was a child, was in therapy for many years, but before HSP was named or much had been written about it apparently. I am a human rights artist/ activist from the US but living in Argentina where I continue, devoted in my art to speaking about grave injustices others suffer, state terrorism, violence against women, and now, the genocide in Palestine.
This work is very difficult for me, as the violence I must make myself aware of, continuously breaks my heart, but, at the same time, being able to do work that I see has a positive affect on others, is healing, raises consciousness, supports human rights efforts, etc… helps keep me sane.
I will appreciate learning more about HSP from the researcher’s side, haha, as I trip most of the lights on the tests I just took online.
Could it be helpful, to add some questions in the HSP self-test, that really encapsulate this? Specifically on the opening and depth in learning. I feel that a majority of the questions lean towards the “easily overwhelmed” aspect, and that can feel a bit as repeating that narrow perspective of high sensitivity just being equal to being vulnerable.
Thank you for this, very helpful!
I am learning so much thanks to these resources.
Yes. I just try to understand that’s who I am and that God gave us this gift for a higher purpose. To help others. 🙏
I read what people do, and I process it deeply enough that it almost always feels like I’m in a conversation, as long as there’s someone awake within a few meters of me
As an HSP with a ridiculously high IQ (at least when I was younger – now aged 77) I have always needed alone time, to think, recover, to ponder and think through, and am fed-up with the term “over-thinking”, often used by those who don’t think enough! Likewise, I am sensitive to colours and have always felt uneasy and even nauseous in environments with clashing colours.
Being voraciously curious and a quick study, I have always wanted to learn new things. One time I counted how many topics I was interested in and it came to 39! But most of all I care about people. I understand feelings without having to be told.
Nowadays I prefer to be alone as I am easily overstimulated and like to have as much time as possible to think and process my life experience to my heart’s content.
Having said all that, I am reconciled to the reality that most people are not interested in the things that interest me, nor do they have to be. I enjoy the company of placid and jolly people as I love to laugh and be a bit frivolous. I can think about philosophy and quantum physics when I’m alone, and converse on their topics when I’m with others.
Pretty eye opening 4 me and answers a lot of questions about how I seem 2 function.
Thanks for posting!
What if it’s the opposite? What if being “highly sensitive” is actually a LACK of understanding and observation and processing ability? Example, you hear a loud noise and are startled by it and fearful…we presume that being “bothered” by a loud noise is correlated to your ability to sense it and think about it…what if someone else hears it and is NOT bothered because they already KNOW what the noise is because they are SO observant and SO processed that they know exactly what the noise is and thus have no fear, anxiety or bother about it?
Having lived for 24 years with an HSP, I can assure you that my experience is that they were significantly less informed and less understanding with their environment. They were driven by fear of numerous unknowns in their life largely because of their LACK of being observant and attentive to detail and their LACK of processing and reflection and analysis. They would be CONSTANTLY bothered by a great many things and constantly ask me to give them meaning and explanations and then be in awe that I knew something they didn’t…yet they simply didn’t collect much data in their daily life and seemingly floated through life ignorantly taking a great many things for granted and making many assumptions. Then all of a sudden they’d be bothered or surprised by things that weren’t surprising to me because I was far more observant than them.
So, I’d submit that in some cases an HSP is the result of not being good at observation and processing. Or the result of being highly sensitive to fears and unable to feel safe in a dangerous world possibly from a lack of deep understanding of the reality of risks around them (over valuing those risks). One defense mechanism of a highly fearful person is to simply close themselves off to the world and ignore observation so as not to observe something bothering to them. This could easily result in being an HSP whilst also being less observant and less analytical in processing information.
Maybe there are simply more than one axis for traits here. HSP could be one axis but another could be observation and another processing and another sensitivity to feeling fear. Someone can be an HSP for differing reasons.
In my experience, being fearful is something that can be adressed and dealt with constructively, regardless of the presence or absence of HSP traits,
Hopefully your wife can be able to find better coping skills and strategies in time, many fears/phobias can be helped with the assistance of a licensed therapist, if it´s causing her distress,
(on a personal note: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy allowed me to overcome my fear of spiders)
Therapy is of course not for everyone and this is very much a personal choice for your wife to make, I hope she finds all the help and support that she may need and wish you both the best in the future.
@Robert It seems to me you are assuming what you have to prove. Because you can explain some, say, the whys of some external event that another person has trouble with, it leads you to miss, and therefore deny, what the other person is experiencing, and failing to dig into understanding where their reaction might be coming from. You assume the “rational” explanation solves all. It’s called “being insensitive,” and it’s exactly the world that HSPs encounter and have to maneuver in.
Thank you for taking him to task about this. I think his arguments are specious.
Back in 2008 I had a therapist tell me I was highly sensitive which was the first time I heard this word even though my whole life I was told I was too sensitive. He said to me this can be a good thing or a bad thing. The good thing is you are very in tune with your surroundings and other peoples emotions, the bad thing is you are very in tune with your surroundings and other peoples emotions so you pick up on things that others don’t and it really effects you. Well I went home and got on the computer and looked it up. Found a few articles. Thought hmmm that explains a lot. Fast forward to about a year ago and I came across the documentary on prime and I cried because it was me wow it really opened me up to research more and wished I knew all this when I was younger. I had a rough childhood with a mother who constantly criticized me by telling me I needed to quit being so sensitive. Hello I can’t help it so thank you for writing your book and creating this website.
One of the biggest challenges I have had being a HSP is in the workplace. I love problem solving and diving into details and “bit data”. However, when I am asked for the “elevator speech” or Bottom-Line-Up-Font (BLUF) summary of what I have learned, I struggle with communicating so much detail into a sound bite. I use the analogy that I cannot describe the Mona Lisa using only stick figures. If I have time, I can usually figure out how to boil things down to an extent. When confronted with a “Tell me NOW” situation, I turn into a babbling idiot. My managers and colleagues who refuse to read a two paragraph email get exceedingly frustrated with me, and I get frustrated with myself and my inability to do what they have asked. Has anyone else figured out a way to handle this issue, or am I the only one struggling with it? Thanks!
Apologies for misspellings in my post, including “BIG data” and “Bottom-Line-Up-FRONT”…
I am very ok using the word sensitive and really think as a community HSPs need to reclaim the word. Sensitive is only an insult because sensitivity is not so accepted in western culture. Personally I like to talk up what it means to be a sensitive person rather than change the word. I’m a sensitive person and while it’s tricky at times – I wouldn’t change it, it’s part of what led me to becoming a therapist and what makes me a good one :)