With my upcoming book, Spirituality Through a Highly Sensitive Lens: An Objective Look at Meditation Methods and Enlightenment (coming out this April), I’ll be sharing two parts in each blog post—the first will explore research, HSP news, and current insights, while the second will offer a more spiritual reflection and deeper inner perspective.
Part I: Summary of Latest Interesting Research
HS Parents, “for Better and for Worse”
Lionetti, F., Spinelli, M., Bosmans, G., D’Urso, G., Fasolo, M., & Pluess, M. (2025). Is environmental sensitivity relevant to understand parenting? Observational studies with mothers of young children. Journal of Family Psychology,
When studies use self-report measures of parenting, HS parents often come out looking less competent, but these researchers wondered if the deeper processing of HS parents causes them to describe their own parenting as worse than observers might. To avoid that problem, two studies in Italy observed mothers with infants rather than asking them to describe in a questionnaire how they parent. In the first study, HS mothers were a bit more intrusive when their infants were 3 months old and less intrusive than other parents at 9 months. That was the only difference observed. In the second study, HS mothers with a history of “Adverse Childhood Experiences” (ACEs) were found to be less attuned to their 3-month-old infants and more stressed. But in the same study HS mothers had more adaptive parental responses than others if they had higher physiological self-regulation, something on which HSPs can vary. In this study they looked at “respiratory sinus arrhythmia,” a good thing to have, in that it is a measure of the coordination of your heart and breathing, and similar to vagal tone, measured in this study, which I have also discussed: Moscardino, U., Scrimin, S., Lionetti, F., & Pluess, M. (2021). Environmental sensitivity and cardiac vagal tone as moderators of the relationship between family support and well-being in low SES children: An exploratory study. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, [link]
That is, high sensitivity was not directly related to worse parenting, but rather it made mothers more receptive to environmental (ACEs) and inner physiological factors, for better and for worse.
Bottom Line: Understanding HS parents is complicated because they may differ from other parents in systematic ways when they are asked to fill out a questionnaire about how they parent. Additionally, differential susceptibility enters in—with poor childhoods they may parent worse than others. But certain physiological factors looked at in this study, among many other things, may make them better than others at parenting.
HSPs Flourish When Connected To Nature
Carroll, S., O’Brien, A., Lionetti, F., O’Reilly, A., & Setti, A. (2025). Flourishing as a highly sensitive person: a mixed method study on the role of nature connectedness and chaotic home environment. Frontiers in Psychology, 16, 1480669.
Here is yet another study of how HSPs do better if connected to nature, this time with 856 participants over 40, surveyed for their level of SPS (high means being an HSP), “flourishing,” current chaos in the home, and nature connectedness. Flourishing was positively associated with nature connectedness and age and negatively with higher SPS. But if you were over 50, nature connectedness increased the chances of flourishing if you were an HSPs, while it did not affect how chaos affected HSPs. When 12 participants were interviewed, they reported significant benefits from nature. The authors conclude that, “overall, the results showed that connecting with nature significantly contributes to flourishing in highly sensitive individuals, particularly in middle to older age.”
Bottom Line: Again and again we see, get out in nature if you want to flourish! The older you get, the more true it is.
Part II: Belief Versus Actual Experience:
What It Takes
In these blog posts on the transcendent, I would like to provide you with something factual and something practical. I will start with facts. According to the Pew Research Center, as of 2024, 86% of adults living in the U.S. believe people have a soul or spirit in addition to their physical body, 83% believe in God or a universal spirit, and 79% believe there is something spiritual beyond the natural world, even if we can’t see it. This is all less true for atheists or agnostics, of course, but still, even many of them agree with these statements. And all of this is about the same globally. Further, I suspect HSPs are at the high end, above 86%. You do not need much from me on these topics.
Belief in the West, Actual Experience Coming from the East
Still, all of that is about belief. What about experience? Western spiritual teaching tends to be more about ideas and words in the form of sermons, books, and prayers, and then you believe in those ideas. Eastern teachings focus much more on the experience of the transcendent—experiences of pure being, the Absolute, God (in Vedanta, not Buddhism). Their sermons, books, and prayers mostly aim to foster that experience. The experience itself is sought and repeatedly experienced until it becomes permanent, sometimes described as nirvana or liberation.
You, however, may have already had some powerful experiences. Roughly half of those polled in the U.S. say they have had a “mystical” experience, and a few have said it has transformed their lives permanently, in which case researchers called it a “spiritually transformative experience.” So it seems to be human nature. And again, these experiences may be even more common among HSPs.
However, in the West, slipping from ordinary life into a permanently transformed state is very rare. Eastern teachings, in contrast, emphasize that almost anyone can do it, through slow, consistent brain changes, using meditation and related practices, such as yoga.
About 17 to 20% of people in the U.S. do yoga or meditate. I suspect that the percentage would be higher among HSPs. I certainly have encouraged HSPs to try meditation, to help them regulate their emotions, recover from or prevent overstimulation, and generally stay calm. Those who meditate and do yoga say it improves their well-being in a variety of ways, but I doubt many are thinking about its original purpose, awakening or enlightenment. (Yoga in the sense of bodily poses was meant to enhance meditation.) That may be one reason why, although I cannot find any data on how many people meditate consistently, every day, my impression is that most do not. Or they begin and then after a few months quit entirely. So perhaps this is something I can help with.
The Reason You Need Consistent Practice
Before considering the reasons people stop, perhaps it would help to see why one might regret it later. There is a huge body of research on the benefits of meditation, from making you more effective in your work to slowing down the aging process–but all these benefits require consistent practice, and they accumulate over years. This is due to neuroplasticity, that whatever we do consistently changes the brain in that direction. Our mind gets used to the state created by meditation and begins to learn how to stay in it when we are not meditating. It cannot learn that, however, unless we consistently go there. As Transcendental Meditation teachers like to say, you dip the cloth in the dye (the inner experience), then fade it in the sun, until eventually it no longer fades.
With that in mind, I think the flaws in the logic of the reasons for stopping meditation become clearer.
The Reasons People Say They Stop
First, “It took too much time.” Really, “too much”? Everything valuable takes some time. It is a question of priorities. If you have children, you make time for them. If you want a garden, you take time to tend to it. (One term Buddha used for meditation was “cultivation,” in that it takes time to cultivate a mind.) If you want major permanent improvement in your brain, you take time for it. And often one finds one’s life becomes more efficient, so that you may have less time for work, yet accomplish more when you are doing it. Less time for “fun things,” but find them more fun.
As an example of just one study of the effects of meditation on the brain, Luders, Cherbuin, and Kurth in 2015 published research in Frontiers in Psychology finding that while the human brain begins deteriorating after the first two decades of life, in their study of 100 long-term meditators (age 24-77 years), using various types of meditation, the decline (looking at grey matter in this case) was much more limited than in a matched control group. Isn’t it worth it, long-term, to have your brain intact?
Second, “I wasn’t good at it.” This response always makes me sad. Since meditation came to the West, a great deal has been learned about how to teach it. Basically, everyone can learn to meditate. It is not difficult. Indeed, it should feel effortless. But teachers do vary in how well they teach. If you do not find your meditation easy, find a new method or a new teacher.
A common problem is that being used to working hard to make progress, meditators often work at meditating well too. Often new meditators will hear about others’ experiences and start comparing themselves. Teachers sometimes encourage this, but if you know you are meditating correctly, try to avoid comparing yourself. Your brain is unique with unique needs.
Or new meditators will have a very deep, fulfilling experience and then try to make that happen again. But every meditation is different. And when they fail to recreate that special moment, they start straining and then they have a “bad” meditation. A few of those and they feel they are not good at meditating. Certain advanced Buddhist practices do require some effort, but not strain. When you start thinking you are bad at meditating, revisit your teacher to be reminded about how to meditate and how well you are doing.
Third, “I didn’t get much from it.” Here the problem is having the wrong expectations. Again, meditation works gradually on the whole brain, and the real purpose is a total transformation, sometimes called enlightenment. Specific problems such as insomnia or anxiety may not be immediately fixed. You have to give it time, preferably at least a year. And the changes you notice may not be the ones you expected, but just as good, such as improvements in relationships because you are a kinder, calmer person after your daily meditation.
All of this is not meant as a sermon or lecture. Please understand that. I want you to decide for yourself about meditation and everything else “spiritual.” I simply want you to be well informed when you decide. (That is the sole purpose of my book coming out in the spring, Spirituality Through a Highly Sensitive Lens.)
I teach yoga for nervous system regulation. (kmkyoga.org) I’m an HSP, a retired RN, and a Pacifica grad.
The website is absolutely free or you can access the classes on YouTube.
The classes include three parts: movement (asana), breath work (pranayama), and meditation.
Elaine is correct. Daily practice isn’t magic but does help over time.
Thank you Elaine! Incredibly educational, insightful and motivating!
Dear Elaine
I greatly appreciate your “spiritual” section.
I became a Buddhist 25 years ago. I practiced, studied, and meditated in earnest for the first 8 years. One-month retreats each year, one of which was spent every day in meditation 9 hours a day.
All of that came to a stop a few years later when I was struck with a series of hardships that left me in survival mode for many years; I couldn’t bring myself to meditate anymore.
I am writing today to suggest that you write a blog that would take into consideration that meditation can be excruciating for some people, precisely the ones with repressed trauma screaming to be acknowledged. These same people can also use meditation to space out and bypass the indispensable psychological work that needs to be done… I know, I have done both.
It’s only recently that I have come to realize that my upbringing has been one of severe Adverse Childhood Experiences. I became parentified at the age of 9 with lasting effects for the rest of my life. Because everything was covert and because I was shamed for any expression of my struggles, sadness, or need for comfort, I soon learn to repress everything.
I am now 70, both my parents were dead when I reached 43. I have had no contact with any extended family since I left (escaped) home and town at the age of 20 so there were never conversations about “what happened” with anyone. I just didn’t want to think about it or couldn’t remember even if I tried which I never did.
It’s a traumatic event a few years ago that opened the doors to my past. I slowly started to remember. It has been a heart-wrenching and lonely experience since then, the deep hidden pain of the past often unbearable to witness but I finally know my real story. And I finally can access a bit of inner peace.
I believe that finally seeing the reality of the lifelong-held trauma ended up calming my mind. Now that the anxiety and confusion that would keep shouting “See me! Hold me!” have been heard, I could come back to meditation without “sitting in fire”, as I would sometimes describe it. Meditating could be SO hard.
So here is my suggestion.
Keeping in mind that HSP can be hit really hard by ACE-trauma and often left deprived of a minimally balanced future, it would really be comforting that its impact on meditation would be addressed more often when talking about its benefits. You know, for people severely traumatized early in life, meditation can also feel like hell sometimes.
And when one is deeply spiritually inclined, one can’t help asking “what’s wrong with me if even meditation can’t help my troubled soul?” Hope doesn’t come by easily then.
Thank you for your life’s work, Elaine. It is much needed.
With gratitude,
Diane
Diane – My experience has been very similar to yours. I’m a HSP, and for several years I couldn’t meditate at all due to the terror trapped in my nervous system. Now, after studying Internal Family Systems and helping some of the old trauma heal, I can meditate for a short time.
Just to add to my other comment, meditation should never feel like hell. Never. Stop if it does. Otherwise you are retraumatizing yourself with meditation. Get help from a very knowledgeable, understanding meditation teacher or a good therapist.
Elaine
“… as of 2024, 86% of adults living in the U.S. believe people have a soul or spirit in addition to their physical body, 83% believe in God or a universal spirit, and 79% believe there is something spiritual beyond the natural world…”.
The nice thing about Reality is that it does not care what humans think about it. Reality is the IS-ness, the Beingness of Life that transcends all – including human thinking and opinion. But it is encouraging that most Americans do believe in the existence of Divinity and the Spirit World – which Quantum Physics calls the Energy Matrix and theology calls The Ground of Being. In short, that realm is the Energy-Spirit Realm from which all things spring forth… including human beings and all life forms and things.
“What about experience? Western spiritual teaching tends to be more about ideas and words in the form of sermons, books… Eastern teachings focus much more on the experience of the transcendent…”.
Both of these forms of experience have their place. The Teaching method is a way to direct our minds in the right direction of what Life is all about. But the Experience way is superior because this bypasses the lower-levels of human rational cognition and speaks right down deep into our spirits and souls. When you really Experience Divinity and the Transcendent Realm you find that words fail you. There are no words that can adequately describe what this Realm is and what you’ve experienced. Persons who have had transcendent experiences are truly changed forever. And you don’t have to wait for exotic things like having a Near Death or Out-of-Body Experience to be profoundly changed.
Many persons have had transcend experiences doing things like walking in nature or being deeply connected to someone else in a Love experience. Even with a beloved pet. There are more than one way to be changed by our amazing Earthly and Spiritual realms.
Meditation is something that many persons do not understand or are fearful that it takes a lot of time and effort. It doesn’t. You can invest a great deal of your life in meditation if you choose and you will reap the many benefits that this provides.
But the bottom line to meditation is simply shutting down your chattering mind… your animal mind (which some call your Monkey Mind). Quiet down your thoughts and the noise of your constant blabbering inner-chatter mind and let yourself experience what underlies all this. And that is? YOU. You are not your thoughts. You are not even the one having those thoughts. You are the one witnessing all this. You are witnessing those thoughts and sensing that you are not those at all but are something much deeper and more profound. This is an experience of Divine Mind.
So you can be doing almost anything and you can decide to be quiet and shut down your noisy mind and just BE. Just sense yourself as a witness of a living, breathing being – and stay in that state for as long as you like. And when you do this, you’ll find out that you do like this and want to do this more often. That is meditation.
It’s all your own choice. Many choose to stay in noisy Monkey Mind their entire lives and they are always anxious and drained and they never have peace or are able to sense their true nature. Others learn that living such a way as that is not living at all but being a tortured animal always looking for relief.
This is not to condemn anyone for how they are because we are all in states of becoming more. It’s just that the path to peace and freedom is actually so easy and is always available and you don’t have to wait for anyone else to do anything. It’s all You. You can do it. You can be this.
You can have a life of peace and enjoyment and well-being any time you want to. It’s all available to you and always yours to claim and be.
“It’s just that the path to peace and freedom is actually so easy…”. Theoretically, yes. Yet millions of intelligent people struggle and suffer every day. Apparently it isn’t that easy and the circumstances aren’t always optimal either.
“But the bottom line to meditation is simply shutting down your chattering mind…”. I look at this differently. For me it’s not about shutting down the thought process, but to become more aware of it. In doing so, it might help reduce the amount of thoughts and the impact they might have.
So, I respect your point of view and your extensive explanation, but I think a gentler approach with realistic expectations might work better for many people., especially HSP’s.
I’m so glad that you are focusing on the benefits of meditation and spirituality! Meditation has completely transformed my life, and I hope more people, especially HSPs, will see how powerful it can be.
Dear Elaine, thank you for your blog and for your books.
I keep thinking about your last post, where you talk about Belief and Actual Experience.
It seems to me that there is another approach to the transcendent. Namely, the direct realization that everyone (and, I would add, everything) is already there, in the transcendent. A part of it.
The Tao Te Ching comes immediately to my mind. According to it, every action of ours due to willpower takes us away from the Path.
But such teachings come also from the West. Most of the sayings of Jesus point in the same direction. I think about Mark’s gospel and, in particular, about the so called Gnostic gospels.
Maybe I am wrong, but it seems to me that these teachings differ from “Belief”. It’s rather some kind of immediate awakening.
Having spent all my life like a boat at the mercy of the waves, I like very much the teachings of Taoism.
Take care.
Roberto
Good morning Elaine
I’ve identified as an HSP, for almost 10 years now and it was truly a relief to know that there were others like me in the world. Having come from parents who are the opposite end of the sensitive spectrum, I was always made to feel like there was something wrong with me for being “too sensitive” and trying my whole damn life to ‘toughen up” without success, if anything I found myself being more sensitive (self-depreciation probably was the reason for that). Anyway, I’ve recently come to realise (after much research) that I’m autistic and have ADHD (waiting for a formal diagnosis). This realisation was the 2nd time in my life I actually made sense to me and explained how I have experienced the world around me, which also added to the feeling of being an alien dropped off on the wrong planet – which is a common experience for women being diagnosed later in life.
Anyway, I was wondering if there has been any research done, or whether maybe this is something you’ve considered researching and that is the connection between HSP and the neurodivergent brain?
My brains logic and the ability to pick up on patterns, to me its common sense to conclude that there is a causal relationship between the 2 – however, a thought does not make this fact. It would be fascinating to conduct this research and an FMRI would provide the data to either confirm or dispel my belief. It makes sense that sensitivities whether that be physically, environmentally, energetically or emotionally (or like me all of the above), would be caused from having a larger amount of neural connections, don’t you think??
Hello
I am new to this discovery and along with my psychologist we are uncovering why I have always felt so shy and find things so painful.
I was wondering if there was any literature or research about High Sensitivity and addiction? (Alcohol specifically in my case) I am four years sober but for years used alcohol to fight my shyness and inability to communicate well. Alcohol was my solution until it became the problem. Now we are working on how I deal with my high sensitivity without substances.
Thank you for helping so many people have a better understanding of thmselves.
Warm Regards
Hi Rachelle,
I just wanted to send you a quick note and say from my own experience as well as being a psychotherapist who works with a lot of HSPs, that though being an HSP doesn’t necessarily make a person shy, I think there is a relationship. I always think of HSPs as being like sea anemones. If you poke one, it retracts. So in other words, if we have enough painful experiences we can very well end up being shy. I have definitely struggled with shyness myself and can relate! I am also curious about your other question about resources for HSPs and addiction. I don’t know the answer to that but I think it’s very relevant. Take care! And welcome to HSP zone!
Is hard for me to label me, although if I think it as just one tiny part of a whole, it becomes easier to say: I think I am a HSP.
First, I gotta say: I hate yoga; never liked it.
Second, I did have -in theological terms- a mystical experience. Also, after that I start to take my religion (Catholic) serious (meaning: studying and practicing to proof it: my faith has a base).And now, I am about to explore a career to become a professor of theology.
Spirituality became my only way of surviving this . No meds, no routine, no food, no specialist doctors could help me (even they made it worse), but the freakin God and His Grace (meaning, His will to allow me to experience world from His eyes… -just a way to describe an indescribable mystical experience).
I was a musician, an ilustrator and a painter (watercolours). Now, I try to express things through poetry and photography, since I lost the other habilities after a deep block.
My physical and mental health went south since my 30s because I was not aware of this HPS thing (and many many many bad experiences: I was abused and mistreated in jobs and relationships -family, friends, etc.). Just a month ago I stop taking meds and I’m actively using techniques and herbs (nothing weird) and stuff I found in the way that can help me without killing me. But the truth is: HPS needs people to support them. Not having one since 2010 is what we can call: a gigantic resilience. That’s why spirituality have such a major role: no one loves you and supports you as God (and in my case, I have extras like Virgin Mary, the Saints, scholars and historical Church’s specialists).
Not sure if this comment is useful.
Regards.
Thank you Dr. Aron and commenters for “singing my life with your words” (Fugees). Discovering you are not alone is a priceless gift and the best and highest use of the internet. Believe it. We are legion. Whatever you HSP and/or HSS scores, our shared uplifted journey is experienced at 100% by all of us. Please know there is hope and help available for the challenges. Drs. Aron, and their many colleagues, are blazing our trails and lighting our paths. It is a great time to be alive and HSS/HSP! We are experts at fostering self-discovery and communal happiness. We need that now more than ever. I am a 55-year husband/father/attorney/expert consultant and full-time dementia caretaker for my HSS/HSP Mama. We are both very high HSS, very high HSP, very high Neanderthal ad-mix, Homozygous CCR5-Delta32/Delta32 (basis for 3 designer human embryos inhumanely edited with CRISPR), Oxytocin happiness/optimism gene; Fast twitch muscle gene…These are just some of the gene mutations to receptors and proteins throughout my body. AI says this combination defies statistical calculation. That is how it feels. My HSP/HSS are just a few of the equally powerful wiring centers competing for my attention 24/7. I have learned to talk back to them all. Times they are all happy together are transcendent. Times they are not have led to 5 thrill seeking joint reconstructions with 2 donor tendons, pins, screws and plates. That’s okay, I am strong in those broken places and wiser for the experience. Still I rise. Self-awareness, radical acceptance and self-love are wonderful medicine. So are genome sequencing, neuropsychology and cognitive behavioral therapy. Identify your traits and love them all. Weave in your childhood and onboard that the adverse experiences were not your fault. Try as many of the life hacks that Drs. Aron and their colleagues have identified than you can. Particularly connectedness to nature and creativity. Yes, this is a tremendous amount of work and life doesn’t stop for you to do it. The payoff is still so worth it! Take it easy on yourself, you have already taken the first step by being here, keep it up and the results will come. You can do it. All HSP and HSS are extra-ordinary. Sit in that for a minute and give yourself a big hug from me. You rock! Thank you all for doing what you do to be your HSP and HSS selves!
Dear Kurt,
I’m 78 (7/4/1947) and found Dr. Aron’s test by chance one day about 7 years ago. After seeing results I felt a feeling that can not be described in words…and I’m a writer.
Naturally, it changed my life.
Suddenly my whole life came into focus and I was able to understand the ‘Why’ of so many heartaches because of my ultra sensitivity.
“Self awareness, radical acceptance and self love are wonderful medicine”.
Thank you for your post…so absorbing.
Many blessings for you and your loved ones.
Yes meditating can be so hard for some people. People who have stopped meditation have their own reasons why they quit. But it is true that anything valuable takes time. The cultivating of meditation is like a garden, that garden needs tending to and there’s a bit that goes with the tending.
We do live in a difficult world for highly sensitive people especially when they are raising their own children. It is likely because they don’t fit into the mold of parenting and are judged because of it.